KA89
recently joined
Reged: 09/08/12
Posts: 1
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When my husband last returned from deployment, i had two incidents where he sexually assaulted me ( though he claims he ' never meant to'). Recently I've found out he has an online dating profile saying he is looking for a new relationship and im just done.
He will be deploying for around six months soon and my son and i will be returning to our home state as usual. I know that once we are in that state six months, we are both legal residents again (taxes have always been filed there too) and i can file there to avoid the year separation rule.
I want to be near family for mine and my toddlers sake (we have absolutely none out here) and i am wondering a few things - i worry about, if i file in our home state, how i can afford driving\flying my son and i back for visitation and such with his father. Would we split costs or would that be my responsibility? How would the state to state visitation work? i know he would likely be living in barracks.
Please help. My biggest concern ismy child, keeping his father in his life but being in our home state for him and i to have support. My husband only has two years of AD remaining and as of late, plans to get out and move back to our home state then.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26787
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I think you have to look at the reality, and that is that visitation will be from where ever you are living, and where ever he is at the time. Circumstances will change over time, so maybe it is time to discuss it with the child's father, and get his input on the matter. There are different ways to handle it, less Child support every month to offset the travel on his end, splitting it, etc. The goal is to make parenting time possible. First thing is the schedule, then the logistics of travel, etc. As far as where his fatehr is living, that is one of those things that you cannot contol. You can only make the time available, he has to deal with his side of the logistics, as far as that goes.
I would say figure out a schedule, bump it with some ideas to pay for travel, to make it work, and leave his side of the logistics up to him. You can make sure the time is scheduled, and you can even work out the costs fairly, but you cannot make his side of the living arrangements for him, and that should not change the fairness of the schedule, or the amount of time that should be scheduled.
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