jggianna
recently joined
Reged: 10/31/11
Posts: 1
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My STBX and I have been living apart since August, our final hearing isn't until next month. He left me for another woman and he just introduced our son to her. I wasn't aware of this until my son came home from his house and asked me if he was going to have a new mommy. I've thought about taking him to see someone, he has started to act out a little but not bad little white lies and a little destruction. (how much of that is him being a 5 year!). My ex thinks that it will be too much on our son and counseling is for worse kids and he refuses to help pay for it. I don't know what to do, I need help answering his questions too. Is 5 too young?
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buckwheat
journeyman
Reged: 10/09/11
Posts: 86
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I think you might ought to look into counseling for you, and no 5 isnt too young.
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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5 isn't too young for counseling, but from what you describe it doesn't sound necessary. Beware of building a case because you are upset at the other mommy reference. Welcome to divorce.
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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I took my son when he was 3 and 4. I don't think it is too young and neither did his therapist. Your son needs to be able to grasp this situation as best he can. And if your X is ordered half of medical, unless psychologists are expressly banned in your court order, your X will have to help pay for it.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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It may not sound necessary to you but therapy can't hurt. It is better to take him and let him talk to someone professionally trained for stuff like this than not do so and have her son acting out in big ways.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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Amazing what respect child therapists enjoy. Training varies widely and in the divorce setting there is a big divide between therapists who are good on the stand and therapists who just offer therapy. Clients are funneled to them by lawyers, who are more interested in courtroom results than helping the child per se. So there's a selection at work for therapists who have a good reputation for getting results for the mother or the father, whichever they are hired by. This doesn't sound so innocent and harmless to me. At any rate, I see your point. If the child is truly distressed -- and not just acting like a kid -- middle class parents agree tgt therapy is the way to go.
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MrsB
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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<<I think you might ought to look into counseling for you, and no 5 isnt too young.
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I'm all about counseling, especially when going through/after a divorce - but what makes you think she's the one who needs to get into counseling? Nothing in her post makes me feel she does - she doesn't sound bitter or angry, simply wants to get her son help if he needs it.
To the OP - no, 5 years old is absolutely not too young to get into counseling. They have children psychologists/counselors specifically trained to counsel children.
In what ways is he acting out?
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MrsB
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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<<5 isn't too young for counseling, but from what you describe it doesn't sound necessary. Beware of building a case because you are upset at the other mommy reference. Welcome to divorce.
>>
Where did she state she was upset about it? I did not see her say anything of the sort - and if she were angry or wanted to "build a case" - I think she would have said much more than she did.
It's natural for a 5 year old to assume he's getting another "mommy" or "daddy" if mom/dad is dating someone new and introduces them to the child. It's a natural question because they don't yet understand they only have one mom and one dad.
I'm not sure in what ways the child is acting out - she didn't specify how much and in what ways he is.
I agree with BL in that therapy can't hurt.
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SockPuppet1
journeyman
Reged: 12/30/11
Posts: 83
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MRS B IS CRAZD. DON'T TK ADVS FROM HER. PLUS, SHE'S ANSWRNG POSTS THAT R MONTHS OLD.
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asfasf
journeyman
Reged: 02/02/08
Posts: 84
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I have a similar case and my daughter is almost 6. In my opinion she has suffered through our lengthy divorce and I wanted to take her to see counseling. But the counselor (in Virginia) I saw needs both parents to agree before she can see her.
X refused to let me, using excuses like she doesn't want to "tag" my daughter that way.
The fact is, my daughter started to worry about mom when she is with me, after a few nights when she calls mom from my place, mom didn't pick up the phone as she promised, then she asked me to drive her home but couldn't find mom. Since then she refused to come with me.
We have joint legal and X is the primary. Do I need to bring this to court in order to take my daughter to see counselor before it's too late? Would court order some psychological evaluation first?
Thanks.
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