Karen1
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 1794
Loc: Ohio
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It has been a long time since I have posted here and only old- timers will remember me, but this place was a lifeline for me when my ex husband left in June of 2002 after a 30 year marriage. It truly was. I found others who had been divorced or divorcing from a long term relationship and some of them really saved me. Even though the marriage had not been good for about two years before he left, some of the respect for me had left long before that. When I could finally look at things without using my heart I realized what I was missing had been gone for a long time and he no longer was the same person. I came into my own as a single and adapted but always knew something was missing. However I swore no one would ever have the power to hurt me that much again, and that meant no man in my life because I was not going to risk falling in love or even falling in like.
I am happy to say that changed last summer. People here often told me when something is meant to be it will happen. I had asked a coworker, head of building dept. (work in city government) for a recommendation for an electric company that would do a correct job and not cheat me. Used the one he recommended to upgrade to 200 amps coming in and also change out the outlets to meet code and add a few new ones. There were 2-3 guys here working on that project. A few years later I called to have some outside fixtures changed and they sent one guy, George. We both found it easy to talk to each other on both jobs and that was it. When he was here the second time he told me he did carpentry and remodel jobs also and gave his number. That was around 2007. Last summer I called him as I ready to start doing some minor and not so minor changes here. Long story short I ended making a major change in my life. While he is still my handyman of choice, there is a second relationship that we kept separate from that one... he is now my sweetheart. I fought the attraction for several months and so did he but one day.... well one of us had to make a move if feelings were going to get out in the open and he did so and then promptly apologized and called the next day and did so again. I told him there was no need to apologize and broke my vow.While I still worry about about suffering that awful heartache again , the joy I am feeling now is worth it. And I will know it will hurt like hell, but that I can survive and eventually thrive. Then again, it could last!
I often read on here when this forum was very active that if it was meant to happen it will. I think that this was meant to happen and am enjoying life like crazy. I felt this would never happen for me and just want to say if it can happen to me, someone not out there looking in anyway and not much opportunity of meeting anyone, then it truly can happen for anyone.
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
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Annie7676
old hand
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 862
Loc: NY
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Very happy for you...enjoy the moment, dont look back and dont look ahead...tommorrow is not promised to anyone and the past is over... and yes when one least expects it, it does happen.....
its been 7 yrs for me since i met my partner who was being used for an article on online dating for people over 50...wasn't looking for anything but as fate had it, there it went....is it perfect? No...but after going through the end of a 30 yr marriage and re emerging stronger...nothing is permanent...if it ends, thats ok...
its different now but that is because I have changed, am older wiser and realize that nothing will last forever
so grab every moment of your happiness and live in the moment Karen!!
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Karen1
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 1794
Loc: Ohio
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Hi Annie, I remember you. You were one of those who inspired me and showed me there is life after divorce after a many decades long marriage ends. I find if I see him once a week and we can talk on the phone mid week I am quite happy. If that does not happen part of my brain goes to that place I do not want it to. I know that is the baggage I have to deal with for myself. I do not want someone in my life everyday and he knows that. Although if it came to that I would certainly consider it. He works a lot of hours between his electrician job and doing handyman type work and is also on call for the electric company he works for and covers the east side of the state capitol of ohio. He lives about a 10 minute drive from me and that is great. Sometimes we are together Friday and part of Saturday, some weeks it is Saturday and part of Sunday. Never know for sure which because he usually does not know until mid week or later if he is going to have to work on Saturday morning. When he is here we spend every moment together and just enjoying each other's company, we just concentrate on each other and nothing else. I am not used to that but I never grow tired of that. It is so nice having him here and the house seems so quiet and empty when he leaves. this happens for me when I have family in town for a weekend too. I call it cycling down to it being just me in the house again.
I fought my attraction to him because I said never again would I care about any man, because it hurts so bad if they leave. I was on cloud nine when he finally made his feelings known to me and i realized I had been ready the signs from him correctly. I will take your advice, and that of everyone else I talk to about this, grab that happiness and live for today. It works, even when I have to beat down that worst case scenario thinker/planner part of my brain. thanks for responding and the update from you. I feel so sorry when I see a newbie posting here because this site is now so inactive. I noticed that you respond to a lot of posts and that is good. i will try to do that as well.
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
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Curmudgeon
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 2004
Loc: MO Ozarks
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Excellent! What a good read and happy circumstance.
Good to *see* you again, Karen. Been a long time for me as well and, yes, I remember!
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What me worry. I'm retired!
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Karen1
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 1794
Loc: Ohio
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Curm... god to see you here too. Hope life is treating you well. I remember you as Mike first, then curmudgeon and like Annie, back to the days when this forum was called Recovery, the old days.
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
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Curmudgeon
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 2004
Loc: MO Ozarks
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Good memory, Karen. Seems like it's been forever since I posted here That's probably because divorce issues are a thing of the past for me but for some latent alienation issues with two of my daughters but this late in the game they're "Oh well, they are what they are!"
Still enjoying retirement here in our little lakeside home - going on five years now. Had cervical neuro-surgery a month ago but recovering nicely. Life is good.
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What me worry. I'm retired!
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