HppL
recently joined
Reged: 09/06/12
Posts: 3
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Ok not getting in to to much details. If my BF and I move in with each other after his divorce how will this affect his payments to her. I dont want him to have to pay her one more cent than needed. She quit a 6 figure job to get alimony and child support in which the judge has put in place that she has to find a job. Which he is paying for a head hunter to find her a job on top of all his other payments.
We have been together 18 months he filed 24 months ago and its been ugly before I even came in to his life. Both of us want to make sure we can handle living together and his kids visits will be great like everything else before we get married. What is MO laws for this? :confused:
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7139
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You living together will not have anything to do with alimony or CS as you are not responsible. However I'd keep things deeply under wraps until everything is final. If she catches wind that you're planning to move in together she could try to get a "no cohabitation" clause thrown in to the CO.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Debi,
You used to be so into the idea of men paying alimony and CS. NOt when its YOUR MAN paying to some other woman, eh ?
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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No one quits a 6 figure job to get more child support and alimony. Unless he's a millionaire and is paying her 6 figures. If he is he doesn't need advice from a chat board.
Why the rush to move in before he's divorced?
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7139
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Not sure who you are confusing me with but I have never been ok with an able bodied person (woman or man)collecting alimony. No one should expect their SOL to remain the same when they divorce.
NCP's (woman or man) should pay CS if they do not have their child half the time or unless there is a huge disparity in income if they do share 50/50. My xh and I have shared 50/50 since day one. In the beginning he earned twice what I did and paid $90 a month. Now we earn very close to the same and there is no CS. As a matter of fact there was a period of 2.5 years where my x was not allowed to see the kids but we still had 50/50 on paper. During that time he paid 32.00 a month for 2 kids.
My youngest daughter's dad does pay CS. She is 5 and he has not had her one overnight. He pays much less in CS than he would if her were caring for her part of the time.
Sorry idiot......you are barking up the wrong tree. As for my man.........he doesn't have any kids but if he did they would surely be taken care of. If he complained about having to support them he wouldn't be my man.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7139
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Ditto what SRS said. If someone quit a 6 figure job to up alimony they need more help than the new girlfriends money could give them.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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Anything4Love
journeyman
Reged: 10/09/11
Posts: 60
Loc: Virginia
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While I was with my stbx he was paying CS to his ex. She tried to get more money based on my income and was told by the court that her children are not my financial responsibility and it would not be changed. And that's how it should be. As for someone leaving a job to get CS or alimony - they ought to be denied and it should be figured out based on the income they had before they voluntarily left the job. A person would only do that out of spite, it is not fair, and should not be allowed.
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workingonmyself
recently joined
Reged: 03/03/13
Posts: 6
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I initiated my divorce after 15 years. We still love each other, however, I have a boyfriend and he has stated that he does not want my boyfriend to ever be alone with our child, live with us or spend the night. I know this is out of anger but I have respected his wishes. We are filing for divorce, joint custody and a parenting plan. I know that he will put those stipulations in place. I eventually plan on living with him. I have full custody of my child. My husband wants to have that control over my life and I do not want hime to have any. This is all so scary. Even if I did not have a boyfriend, I know that the decision was the correct things to do. I am scared that my husband is plotting against me. We have allot of debt together and he is willing to take a loan to pay it off so that we are both free and clear from the debt. We have no assets. We have two children, one minor child. My older daughter hates me now and is still living at home not treating me well. She is moving out soon. I will have joint custoday but my little one will live with me. She has ASD and I have been her sole care giver. Now my husband sais he wants to spend as much time with her as possible and I support that. He want to take her next weekend but zoe told him that she does not want to go. He looked so hurt and sad. I spoke with zoe in front of her dad saying what could be different this time than last weekend that would make you want to stay. We all came up with a solution. I felt so sad for my ex. I am not one of those moms that would ever say anything bad about my husband to my children or anyone else. I am worried that he will feel that I am saying something to her. The reality is that he never did anything with her when we were together so now he just feeds her junk food and they watch tv. She is bored at her dad's house but that is not under my control. I encouraged him today to do fun things with her so she will look forward to going to his house. I want him fully involved in her life even though he was not when we were married. I am so scared that he will file for full custody, however, in Idaho, judges rarely grant that. He would have to have me deemed unfit. And I am not. Any advice or coorespondance would be welcome. So new to this. He just moved out 10 days ago. Thank you.
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