workingonmyself
recently joined
Reged: 03/03/13
Posts: 6
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I initiated my divorce after 15 years. We still love each other, however, I have a boyfriend and he has stated that he does not want my boyfriend to ever be alone with our child, live with us or spend the night. I know this is out of anger but I have respected his wishes. We are filing for divorce, joint custody and a parenting plan. I know that he will put those stipulations in place. I eventually plan on living with him. I have full custody of my child. My husband wants to have that control over my life and I do not want hime to have any. This is all so scary. Even if I did not have a boyfriend, I know that the decision was the correct things to do. I am scared that my husband is plotting against me. We have allot of debt together and he is willing to take a loan to pay it off so that we are both free and clear from the debt. We have no assets. We have two children, one minor child. My older daughter hates me now and is still living at home not treating me well. She is moving out soon. I will have joint custoday but my little one will live with me. She has ASD and I have been her sole care giver. Now my husband sais he wants to spend as much time with her as possible and I support that. He want to take her next weekend but zoe told him that she does not want to go. He looked so hurt and sad. I spoke with zoe in front of her dad saying what could be different this time than last weekend that would make you want to stay. We all came up with a solution. I felt so sad for my ex. I am not one of those moms that would ever say anything bad about my husband to my children or anyone else. I am worried that he will feel that I am saying something to her. The reality is that he never did anything with her when we were together so now he just feeds her junk food and they watch tv. She is bored at her dad's house but that is not under my control. I encouraged him today to do fun things with her so she will look forward to going to his house. I want him fully involved in her life even though he was not when we were married. I am so scared that he will file for full custody, however, in Idaho, judges rarely grant that. He would have to have me deemed unfit. And I am not. Any advice or coorespondance would be welcome. So new to this. He just moved out 10 days ago. Thank you.
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Karen1
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 1794
Loc: Ohio
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The best advice for you now is to take care of yourself legally as best as you can. In my opinion you should see an attorney to find out what could happen and what your options are. The advice maybe that living with someone would not help your case. Personally, I would not put that new person into my childs life in that manner just now as she is trying to adjust too. Just my two cents worth.
If you think he is plotting and may file for full custody your best bet is to meet with an attorney. Yes, the cost money but to try to go it alone is not a good idea in my opinion. You need to prepare. I hope it works out well for you. Just hang in there an do what you need to do and if that means romance is on hold as in the amount of time together so be it, for the sake of your future with your child.
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
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