mrtyvm
recently joined
Reged: 01/20/13
Posts: 1
|
|
I'm 30, wife 31 in NM with ~6 years marriage and no kids.
In the process of divorce doing the splitting of assets when someone puts bug in wife's ear of being entitled to all sorts of money. Up until this point, things were going easy and we were trying to keep lawyers largely out of it. I didn't think she was getting a raw deal.. Generally, the wife is pretty great about the whole thing and this happens.
So the background: First 4 years of marriage, she worked as a teacher in California making ~$70k. I had just left the military and was going to school on the GI Bill and working part time. I obviously wasn't making a ton but did what I could. Fast forward 4 years and I'm back in the military now making $70k and she had followed me to NM and now makes ~$35k teaching.
She's likely going to move back to California and can likely expect a $50k-60k salary if not the $70k she had before. We currently have ~$9k in debt, a house we bought 8 months ago, ~$25k in property. The asset split is close, within $3k. I'm heading to Afghanistan for 6 months and will have the debt paid off and an estimated $10,000 in savings by the end. She would quit-claim the house to me as it has no equity.
The thing is that she now keeps wanting more money. We agreed to split the $10k in half and better split the property. Of course she now doesn't want the property (and refused to help even out the property distribution), she wants cash. I offered to give her $3k in cash to compensate (denied) and then the other $2k which would leave her with a full $10,000 in cash and still a solid amount of property.
So yeah, the dreaded A word reared its head. She believes that she was there while I was in school and moved to NM at the cost of her old job so I must support her with even more money.
I would never have expected her to get this petty and money-grubbing... if I'm crazy and should expect to pay more, break it to me gently.
Edited by mrtyvm (01/20/13 01:15 AM)
|
Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2018
|
|
So she had to leave a $70K job to follow you because of your job? Normally, I would say that spousal support probably isn't going to happen since it is only 6 years and there are no kids involved.
But with the reduction in her income because of your job, it is possible. But it will be short term if she does get it.
|
finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6481
|
|
Disclaimer.....My answers are based only on my reading in preparation for my own divorce.
Do you plan on retiring from the military ? She may be hoping for a piece of that pie too, comensurate with how many of your married years that you were 'in'.
If she ends up back in CA making $60K, any spousal support SHOULD be based on the difference between her $60K and your $75K (orher $50K to your $75K) and SHOULD be short term. If the "worst case scenario" on the $60K vs $75K is about $6K a year x 3 years (half the length of the marriage), that would be $18K MINUS her share of the debt and possible losses with selling the property. When you add in what lawyers on both sides will cost, your $10K offer to her sounds generous to me.
Asking for ss on a six year marriage with no kids just sounds ridiculously money grubbing to me.
Try to get this settled before she moves back to Cali and establishes residency there. I don't know anything about NM ss 'standards', but Cali is notoriously pro ss.
Good luck with getting this settled.
Thank you for your service. Stay safe.
|
hanzblinx
enthusiast
Reged: 08/13/10
Posts: 380
|
|
Tell her to eat cake. I was in a 12 year marriage with a SAHM and she got 18 months alimony (which she didn't even collect half due to her remarriage). I don't know what your wife is expecting, or why she can't make it on her own as a grown up woman. You know they only talk big about being independent women, then the money grubbing starts and the truth comes out.
|
javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3158
Loc: SC
|
|
Stuff like this irritates me to no end.
She is capable of being self-supporting. She's not going to be living in a refrigerator box under a highway overpass because she loses maybe $15k in salary when she goes back to CA.
She CHOSE to follow you and give up the salary she was making. She did it for the marriage and love and etc, and yes those are certainly all valid reasons. That still doesn't negate the fact she made the choice -- she rolled the dice and crossed her fingers and hoped it would be worth the sacrifice.
It didn't work.
Tough loss. If she had an iota of self-respect, she'd pull herself up, dust herself off, learn the lesson and move on.
Marriage is full of compromise and sacrifice; nowhere does it say that divorce is any better. She doesn't get to walk away 'whole' - neither of you do.
Get a lawyer and make her deal with reality.
--------------------
Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
|
Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
|
|
I take a different view of your situation. Yes, you are both young and the marriage wasn't long and she can earn a living. But you want a divorce. You have something you want to do. Somewhere to be shortly. $10-15k to her as property settlement would be worth getting a quick divorce imo. That amount and more will quickly go to lawyer if you choose to litigate, not to speak of the time involved.
|
yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
|
|
Quote " I would never have expected her to get this petty and money-grubbing... if I'm crazy and should expect to pay more, break it to me gently. "
This is not a woman we are talking about, this is a potential EX-WIFE. She deserves to be paid for all the sex you guys had for "free" when you were married ? Isn't that how it works ?
And no matter how you remember it, she remembers " giving it up" a LOT for FREE. Well, guess what, the bill is now due and payable ( Plus interest and penalties ). FYI, Military guys always get the shaft.
--------------------
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
