shadoez
recently joined
Reged: 01/05/13
Posts: 2
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We have been married for 7 years now and after several times of my wife cheating she wants a divorce. The only reason I didn't divorce her sooner was because I wanted to keep us together for our son. He is now 6 years old. Neither of us has filed yet, but she is moving out in the next few days. She has asked me to continue paying for her car insurance and phone bill to keep her from filing for spousal support.
She has been working as a hair stylist for almost 3 years now so it isn't like she's been a homemaker with no means of making a living. She is paid strictly on commissions and tips. Currently, I do make more than her which is what worries me.
I don't want to voluntarily help her financially if I don't have to. Why should I if she cheated and then decided she wants a divorce and she decided to move out on her own. However, if it will make more sense to give in to her request for $200 a month I might just have to. I only make about 38k a year and our son wants to stay with me, but that's a whole different case.
Based on the situation, does she have a good chance of obtaining spousal support? We live in Arizona if it makes a difference.
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1413
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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A seven year marriage and she works will not get her much if any spousal support and certainly for not a lengthy amount of time. I would consult with an attorney because you do not want to set a status quo of paying her bills or giving money if you wouldn't be ordered to in court because many times the courts will see that as your agreement to support her.
Depending on who the child lives with and a disparity in income she or you may get child support. Your son will have no say at six years old in where he lives. Is 50/50 placement something the two of you would agree on. Can you co-parent? The courts are leaning toward 50/50 placement more and more. Even if you have physical placement of your son you may still pay her support for the child if the income disparity is significant. If the disparity is not that significant and depending on placement neither one of you may pay support for the child or one of you will.
I would use a free consultation with an attorney before I paid her anything for bills etc. Who is the child with currently?
Good Luck!!
Good Luck
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shadoez
recently joined
Reged: 01/05/13
Posts: 2
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Thank you for the advice annieo. She is actually moving out of the house tomorrow which couldn't have come soon enough. My son will be living with me the majority of the time since my soon to be ex wife has been partying a lot lately. As far as a joint custody is concerned, we initially leaned towards that, but I honestly don't feel she is fit for it. She is very short tempered, impatient, and enjoys displacing her anger. She pays little to no attention to the needs of our son. However, I'm not sure if I would be able to prove that in court. It's unfortunate my sons wishes would hold little value in court.
I will definitely look for legal advice before setting a standard of me paying for anything. Thank you again.
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spinnerdegrassi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 7998
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File for sole custody, and save all evidence you have about the cheating so that your son, when he gets older, can find out that his mom was a wh0re, and then he'll disassociate himself from her for the rest of his life, and she'll wallow in misery.
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hanzblinx
enthusiast
Reged: 08/13/10
Posts: 380
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Been there done that. I think you will escape alimony easily because you have a modest income and short marriage. Cut her off financially bro, give her nothing, not a nickel. Worst case scenario is you pay her $200/month which is nothing. I was ordered to pay 12x that every month to my wh0re of an ex wife. Consider your self blessed, I would.
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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In general, adultery is not a factor in determining custody, but may be a factor in determining alimony depending on your state. It doesn't seem worth going to trial over $200 a month. I would give it to her.
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1413
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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Why on earth would you give it to her - they were married for seven years - NOT a long term marriage. How long do you suggest he give it to her? If he gives her anything he is setting a status quo and he really doesn't want to do that especially on a seven year marriage.
You are the individual that thinks $2000.00 isn't much though so I suppose $200.00 really isn't much.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30354
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Hey, I need you to send me $200 a month. I know you won't mind, I mean its ONLY $200 right?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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Why pay the $200? Because the ex asked for the sum and the op seemed ok with it. In his position I would rather pay some alimony to the ex hair dresser for a year than give that money and more to a lawyer to dick around with the case.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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SHADE,
DO NOT PAY HER ANYTHING, CUT HER OFF NOW !
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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