mckala7
recently joined
Reged: 03/26/13
Posts: 1
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A few things. My divorce was final 2/14/12, so a little over a year ago. It was a quick divorce done on our own with no lawyers. I filed in 12/11 and it was finalized two months later. While we were married I got my Bachelors and Masters so now I make twice what he does. We have three boys, 2, 4, and 6. When I did the math for the child support it may not have been 100% accurate, however I felt it was more than fair. In TX the guidelines state that you take 35% for four kids (he has another child with someone else). So, the math went something like this (31,500/year * .35 = 11,025 (total child support owed) / 4 (# of children) = 2756.25/child. Multiple that by 3 and I end up with 8268.75 per year or 689.06 per month. I really ended up with 683.07 per month but that's close enough. I personally pay 400/month for their health insurance (yes they are all three on mine). He gives me an additional 50/month. So, my total child support per month is 683.07+50=733.07. He was engaged when we signed the divorce documents and so was living in her house. I think that may have had some bearing on how/why he just signed the documents. I kept the furniture because it was mine before the marriage. We got rid of the house and we kept our own cars. I have primary conservatorship of the kids (or they live with me). So, after the divorce my Dad and I got a different house so we could share expenses. At that time I allowed my ex to watch the children twice a week at my house. So he wouldn't have to pay for food or disrupt their lives all that much. Now he has since gotten married and divorced from this second woman. As soon as that was over he has bemoaned the amount of child support that he is paying. He's ****** that I live with my Dad (I work full time too - so I am paying for my children). When I filed for divorce it was simply because I didn't want to be married to him anymore (we grew apart). I don't think he was cheating and I know that I definitely was not. So, when I went through and did the paperwork I tried to be more than fair because I wanted to do the right thing. I didn't want to go out for blood. I simply wanted to not fight, get along for the boys sake, and just not be married. I wanted him to pay the legal amount of child support and I thought I helped foster an environment for him to see his children. On 2/14/13 he called me and told me he was going to relinquish his rights to his children (he thought he wouldn't have to pay child support then) because he couldn't afford it. He has since told me that he can't see them because he can't afford to (remember he watched them at my house - so he wasn't paying for food... he was paying for gas money to pick them up and bring them to my house). I offered to pay him gas money because I think it's important that the kids know their father (my Dad was an excellent role model). He's mad because I make so much more than him, he's mad that my new bf makes more than him, and he's mad because we (kids and I) cohabitate with my father. He called me last night and told me he wants me to take him back to court because he honestly believes that if he explains his expenses to the judge they will lower his child support. He thinks that if he'd had a lawyer at the time of our divorce that they would've told him not to sign the proposed child support figures I calculated. I informed him that if I took him to court he would have to pay more (he actually makes 34K per year rather than the 31.5K I used to calculate it). I told him that I don't ask him to pay for half their medical expenses (he's supposed to) but it would be futile so I don't bother. I've told him that it's not a good idea to go back to court because he would end up paying more and not less. Question... should I actually take him back to court. My bf thinks I should try to get exactly what I'm owed. My ex says that if he paid less child support then he would be able to see the kids again. He hasn't seen them since Valentine's Day. I don't know what to do... because if I take him back to court as he's requesting he's going to shoot himself in the foot which is what I've attempted to prevent. He refuses to get a second job. I think I've been overly nice and am not sure if I should just take him to court like he's requested and actually up my child support request.
So Basics:
Living Expenses (mortgage, electricity, water) are split in half with my Dad
Food, Clothing, Extras: Paid by me or with the help of child support
Child Care: Paid for by me or with the help of child support
I point this out because I do not receive funds from either my Dad or bf for my children which is how it should be.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20167
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"So, the math went something like this (31,500/year * .35 = 11,025 (total child support owed) / 4 (# of children) = 2756.25/child. Multiple that by 3 and I end up with 8268.75 per year or 689.06 per month. "
Disclaimer - I do not live in TX. Based on what I know, cs for multiple kids with different CPs (custodial parents) is usually handled differently. My ex had a child before our two, and there was an existing support order. So cs for our kids together was calculated after subtracting the amount of the existing order. For example, if his monthly net after all the usual deductions was $2,000, and the amount of the existing order was $200, the support on our two kids was based on his net of $1,800. I've never heard of calculating the cs on all the NCP's children with different CPs and splitting the result equally between all children. That doesn't mean it doesn't exist, but I would check into that, run the numbers and see where you're at.
That would be the legal side of it, but there is also a common sense side of it. It sounds like you are managing well financially, would it makes sense to agree to a lower amount of support, even just temporarily? Ask him what he believes would be a fair amount to support three children, one that he can afford to pay. If you can swing it, and he can as well, why not.
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Annie7676
old hand
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 862
Loc: NY
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i believe that child support in most states is calculated by a standard formula. If the formula you used is how it would be then you saved him $$$ by not going through lawyers.
Sounds to me that he does not want to pay child support for his children. He had 4 with you and then another one. He is a father and does have responsibility.
The CS laws in your state will mandate what he pays. Sounds like you have been fair with him.
If that is correct let him go to court and then not only may he still pay the same, could be more and he will have to pay a lawyer.
the fact that you work and make more money...has nothing to do with it...except how the court will see it.
Good luck with this.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20167
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mckala, here is TX's online cs calculator.
oag.state.tx.us/cs/calculator/index.php
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7139
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I do agree with Sherron that I don't think your calculations are correct. My daughters dad has an older child and pays much more in CS for him than he does for our daughter because that order existed first. In my state the total that can be taken for 2 children is 25%. His son was already receiving 17% because that is the standard for 1 child . That leaves my daughters support at 8%. They don't lower the other order to make it equal and they don't take an additional 17% to make it equal. I believe he may be paying a little more than he should be to you. It sounds as if you figured out the calcualtion based on him having 4 kids with the same mother. First you figure the 1st order takes precedence so if it's 17% in your state like mine, then there is only another 18% to be given to you for your kids.He could very well be right that he is over paying.
I figure you have him paying you 26.25% when he is probably already paying 17% for child# 1. That has him paying over 43% total or about 8% more than he should be.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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MinnesotaMom
member
Reged: 01/05/11
Posts: 191
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It varies greatly from state to state. In mine, the first CS order is calculated, then the second on what is left. In my state, I believe CS is capped at about 65%, no how many orders you have. I don't know how folks survive at that level, but I also hear custodial parents, especially those that don't have the first order, complain about the reduced amount. It makes sense to cap it a 65%, otherwise, say if you paid 25% for one child and had 5 different order, you would owe 125% of your income no matter how much you made.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7139
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I believe most states operate that way MM. The percentage goes down with each subsequent order. The NCP still requires money to live even if they haven't figured out how BC works. Of course anyone who has a kid with someone who has 4 existing CS orders better be prepared to support the kid on their own (and get their head checked). You can't get blood from a turnip.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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