asfasf
journeyman
Reged: 02/02/08
Posts: 84
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I posted earlier that ex moved without informing me her new address. Does she violate the law?
I called the Court asking for her new address, but the court doesn't have it either.
As dadinva suggested, I checked the online record from my child's school, it still has her old address.
Also searched whitepages.com etc, can't find her new address. Does anybody know a better website?
I sent a letter to her old address with "Address Service Requested", but the letter was returned with the following label:
Attempted - Not Known. Unable to Forward
The problem is, I've sent Child Support check to her old address with the same "Address Service Requested". If the check is returned to me, can she sue me for not paying CS?
Should I report to Social Service Dept first, to let them know the situation?
I know I could hand her the check in person. But without knowing her address, I don't know which school my child will go this Fall. I also need to decide which school district I will settle in, depending on whether her new home is in a good school district, or whether she agrees to let my child use my school district.
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MinnesotaMom
member
Reged: 01/05/11
Posts: 191
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You can get someone's forwarding address from the Post Master but they have specific instructions on what to place on the envelope. In this case you send a letter to the old address and right below the return address you place the words ADDRESS SERVICE REQUESTED. There will be a service fee for this which you would pay when the new address is sent back to you. It is generally a photo copy of your letter with the new address sticker placed on your envelope that you will receive back.
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1413
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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"I also need to decide which school district I will settle in, depending on whether her new home is in a good school district, or whether she agrees to let my child use my school district."
I am curious with your contentious dealings with your ex why you are entertaining the idea that she would allow your child to go to a school in the district you might settle into if it is different than the one she currently lives in?
If she were to allow it, if your district is better, are you thinking that if she moves again in the future that you could make a bid for custody in order to keep your child in the same district?
Good Luck with the getting the address - I think I would do what someone else mentioned and follow them home from the exchange of the child.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3049
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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MinnesotaMom, I seem to recall that the post office stopped doing that awhile back as it was discovered that victims of domestic abuse were having new addresses sent to their abusers in this relatively simple system.
I could be wrong and it might be regional -- I know in the area I lived in in VA, my post office wouldn't release that information.
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asfasf
journeyman
Reged: 02/02/08
Posts: 84
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By now, I've sent her two letters, both with "Address Service Requested". the first one was returned to me with label "Attempted - Not Known. Unable to Forward".
In The second letter, I enclosed the check for Child Support. I have not received any response from Postal Office but the check was cashed. So I assume they have forwarded the letter to ex without updating me.
I have been trying to mitigate the tension with ex, by sending her emails asking for her new address and school district, but with no response.
If I bring this case to Court, will the Court force her to provide her new address? I thought by law parties need to update each other for the reason of emergency contacts etc.
For the school issue, I guess the Court would let the PCP keep the child at her district regardless whose school district is better? If that's the case, then there is no reason for me to go to Court.
Will it make a difference if I fight for a "shared custody"?
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3049
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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You used to be able to receive new addresses from the post office many years ago -- they've put a stop to it as abusers were able to locate their victims with it. Hence, they don't do it any longer.
Even with shared custody, the child needs to go to school. If your ex is the primary parent, then yes, if she chooses, the child will remain in that district. If you want the child to go to school in your district, then I'd suggest that you be prepared tp pick up your child in the morning, drop her off at school and then pick her up each day. Your ex shouldn't have to be the one transporting the child each day -- what is the difference in distance?
Have you asked your child what school she's attending?
You can file as Order to Show Cause as to why she's not provided you with the information about your child's new residence. That's a slam dunk, you'll win. Emergency contacts are just that and really don't need to provide an address -- as long as there are available numbers to call.
I hesitate to say this but perhaps the reason she doesn't want you to know where she lives has something to do with your driving the child over there when she's upset to **check on Mommy** She may feel as if you're being intrusive and that you can't handle your own child during YOUR parenting tine.
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asfasf
journeyman
Reged: 02/02/08
Posts: 84
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Thanks BBRN.
I asked my child about her new school, but she said she doesn't know. She keeps many things as secrets between her and mom, so I tend not to push her.
I am living in apartment now, 5 miles away from where they used to live. Trying to find a new place close to where they live (hopefully in a better school district). But without knowing where they are, it's hard for me to make the move.
From what you said, even if I get shared custody, unless my child spends more time with me than ex, she still goes to mom's school. It's impractical for me to do the drop-off and pick-up in order for her to go to my school. I don't foresee ex will help either. So it is an unrealistic option.
And you are (partly) right on the reason why she doesn't provide her new address. I believe she will use it as the reason in case we go to court. Honestly I hope that's the only reason.
Now the problem is, my child has shown increased sensitivity since their move, weeping at my place for minor issues. I suspect it has something to do with her new environment,and the fact that mom and dad are drifting further away. I have requested to take her to see counseling, but no response from ex.
I know it's going to be nasty if I bring this case to court, if it helps at all. So I will wait and see.
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