Helpamea
recently joined
Reged: 05/23/13
Posts: 1
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Hi- I'm hopeful to get some insight on what to expect. I had childs father move in 3 years ago while our child had become sick with cancer. Just a month ago - We finally finished treatment.... As a mother I sacrificed obviously many things because my only child was so sick. Thankful for my community to help raise money and kept me home with my son and kept him out of situations that could get an immune compromised toddler sick, even well everyone knows what cancer can do. Anyways, I really haven't been happy with my new roommate since. Since I have started back to work and even made it back to school in hopes for a nursing degree.
I have plans to move back home( a little embarassing being in my 30's). But school is way more important then my pride. Because of the illness for our child I had him put into the public school where my mom lives. However, she needs work done to her home and my sons medical he can't be near construction dust. I've been begging for left over materials from my other parent that that ball continues to get dropped.
My son is in pre k program for special needs and only was a class of (7) kids. ( safer in my eyes too for less chance of sickness & colds. So end of school year & we are retesting (normal) and seeing if he can handle the next step, kindergarten. While I attend all school meetings do 95% drop off an pick ups---- I am floored that the school super contact my sons dad for a 1 on 1. Now the paranoia of not actually living their yet is setting in, but I have all intentions to doing this move, but just need work done first. Last fall I began the process of telling him I wasn't into "us" anymore and he begging to stay and work on things. I really didn't have a choice be moms isn't ready for us yet.
Now it's none of the schools business about the personal life right? But are they wrong IF this has to do with our residence for not including me?
We are not married, child has MY name--- But the father is a cop in that town..... :/. Yea I know.,
Anyways--- even though I'm wrong that I don't live there yet, I do have my mail there & for medical reasons I can't have my son there yet...
Also note- My son was 18 mtgs old when diagnosed. Just turned 5 and is " socially slow". It breaks my heart that he won't play with other kids his age. Just in the last month- He has started playing with the boys on his tball (after practice we go to playground). And looks to say goodbye to his gymnastics friends. He is finally coming out of his shell--- I don't want thä ruined. I'm trying to make this whole process as simple as possible for my child.
Since there is no custody agreement- Should the school super have requested me in this meeting as well?
And also- Will these forum discussions show up on a search engine?
Thank you anyone with some insight on what to do
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c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1759
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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Watch out for Dad starting the ball rolling for a custody suit and/or court-ordered visitation. How far is your Mom's from where you live now? Since he's a Cop in the Good Ol' Boy network you may have an uphill battle if you decide to fight with him. Better to kill him with kindness. Offer to bring child to him for visits/vacations. IF he has a paternity test done and is proven the father -- he WILL get court ordered visitation and other rights. You want to stay OUT of court for this reason. HOWEVER, he will also be ordered to pay child support if you remain custodial parent so he also may not want to go to court for that reason.
Your posts should not show up in a search engine unless he knows what name (Helpamea) you have used here and you DON'T use any real names of cities, places or people. However this SITE will show up on a search engine.
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9823
Loc: Arkansas
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Without a court order preventing him from access, he has every right to be fully involved in his child's school. Without a custody agreement, you both have equal rights to the child. Shame on you for not wanting the father to have this meeting with the school. Whatever your reasons, shame on you for not being upfront with the school about your living arrangements (not the personal part, just the part about how you don't live in their district yet you are sending your child to their school).
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7806
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And also- Will these forum discussions show up on a search engine?
YES.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6481
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[quote]Hi- I'm hopeful to get some insight on what to expect. I had childs father move in 3 years ago while our child had become sick with cancer. Just a month ago - We finally finished treatment.... As a mother I sacrificed obviously many things because my only child was so sick.
Last fall I began the process of telling him I wasn't into "us" anymore and he begging to stay and work on things. I really didn't have a choice be moms isn't ready for us yet.
[/quote]
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So....from the time that your son's illness started until last fall, you let your ex think that there was still an "us" ?
It's sure sounds like you USED him to help support you for years and now you begrudge him being invited to a school meeting, when HE is THE parent who currently lives in the school district that YOU signed your son up for.
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