ALoren
recently joined
Reged: 10/23/12
Posts: 13
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I will be hearing from my attorney any minute about the Proposal from the Plaintiff. Needless to say, I am anxious.
After speaking with The Soon-to-be, the following notion was reinforced.
The house has little to no equity. She understands I am willing/able to buy her out.
She is incredibly insistant that the house is too big for me, I am never there and that it's easier for me to rent. I am an airline pilot and range 12-15 days off a month. My two boys are here when I am here.--joint legal right now, maybe shared. We'll see.
She is going to be asking for more money monthly. State guidance dictated $1485 a month. I am paying her $1600. She says it's not enough. She currently lives in a home,owned by her Father, rent free. She says $1600 is not enough.
She is not currenlty working. I do not want her to work until both Children are in school...1 + year away.
She is telling me I am wasting money on my mortage/taxes. Clearly, she wants my monthly expenses lower so that she can receive more money from me.
I maintain, 1) I absolutely can refinance for a savings of $300-400 a month. 2) RENT in my area is not cheap and will be $1000 a month easily.
I see no difference in renting/owning. It's expensive either way.I THINK her motivation for more money is 1) More money and 2) She wants me out of the house for her personal reasons.
I read and hear lots of horror stories. Nothing dishonest has occurred financially or otherwise. My standpoint is:
I want to do everything I can to support her/my family.
I am not willing to move out simply because "my house is too big,I'm never there and because she says she needs more money.
BTW, she is even telling me I do not need to meet in person with my attorney, since her proposal is cut-and-dry. I find this hard to believe and think she has other motivations.
I hope I am not being too childish,selfish in my stance on the issue at hand. Am I in for a big surprise with a potential involvement of the court/judge?Just opiniions I know, but curious.
I might be willing to let a judge decree/decide on a sale of the house in order to make room in my finances in order to pay her more.
Edited by ALoren (05/23/13 08:09 AM)
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MinnesotaMom
member
Reged: 01/05/11
Posts: 191
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"She is not currenlty working. I do not want her to work until both Children are in school...1 + year away."
This is the only part that is unreasonable on your part. It's not your place to even exhibit this kind of control. She is free to do as she pleases.
You mentioned what child support is. Have you taken into consideration what alimony might be? You need an attorney.
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ALoren
recently joined
Reged: 10/23/12
Posts: 13
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Pardon me, it's not control...it's called reality.
Both parents need to provide domestically and financially for their children. I currently do both. Why does she get a one-sided deal?
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3049
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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You can't dictate whether she works or not -- in order for her to provide financially for the children, she has to work. It's most definitely an attempt to be controlling. In addition, a judge may impute income to her for the purposes of child support/spousal support. You didn't say how long you'd been married.
Her working may actually DECREASE what you pay -- monthly expenses have very little to do with what you're able to pay, they're not deducted from any salary that you receive. So, that's a dead end for her.
If you're already paying OVER the state guideling for child support, a judge may ratify that or reduce it, as he sees fit.
If you already have an attorney, use him/her. DON'T offer up any more money. You're entitled to have a life and be able to pay your bills. Offering more sets a new precedent and perhaps a new status quo.
Just my opinion.
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ALoren
recently joined
Reged: 10/23/12
Posts: 13
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Beach...thanks for your opinion.
Please understand what I am trying to promote is equal responsibilties when it comes to running our "Family Ship". It is my preference that we both work...me Full-Time, her very part-time. Just a little bit on her part financially and things just might work. Like I said originally, I prefer her to be a stay-at-home Mom...unfortuneatley, reality doesnt' always line up with out wishes.
We've been married 12 years...9 of these years she worked. I dont really want this thread to be about her working.
****I got the proposal and she is asking for $2800 a month...she receives $1600 now. The breakdown of the 2800 includes $350 a week in Alimony.****
She and her attorney are also asking for 65% of my 401 (k) and for me to pay her medical insurance.
This proposal to me is shooting for the Moon and is something absolutely impossible for me to do. I can't imagine I could live ANYWHERE and afford to pay this.
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MinnesotaMom
member
Reged: 01/05/11
Posts: 191
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Only an attorney could tell you if the support/alimony is reasonable. You would typically owe her 50% of your 401K that accumulated while married. Medical coverage typically ends with the divorce if final. What length of time is the proposed alimony? Typically it's up to 1/2 the length of the marriage, but it's dictated by statue in some states. What was her income when she worked? What's her educational level? These will play an important role when it comes to determining alimony. You need an attorney.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3049
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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Your comment above clearly stated that you did NOT want her to work, period. Sorry for misunderstanding what you wrote and responding to that comment.
Once the divorce is final, you have no insurable interest in her, therefore, you won't be able to insure her. That's true even of medical insurance. You have no obligation to pay for her medical insurance.
It sounds to me as if her numbers are WAY too high -- based on the length of the marriage. What state are you in?
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