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Cookie29
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Reged: 06/11/13
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HELP!!!!!!! When it rains, it pours!!!!
      #803656 - 06/11/13 04:39 PM

I need your assistance. In 2004, my husband received full custody of his daughter, who at the time was 13 because his daughter's mother's boyfriend had tried to molest her, and DCFS was involved. He also has a son with the same women, and he is now 15 1/2, he'll be 16 in July. The terms of the custody order was as follows: He had full custody of his daughter and she received full custody of their son, meaning he was responsible financially for his daughter and she was financially responsible for their son. Child support was abated and they both, including their attorney's and the Judge signed off on the agreement. My step-daughter is 22, will be 23 in July and has a 2 1/2 year old daughter who lives with my husband and I, along with my two children that I have with my husband, and my step-son lives with his mother. Today my husband received a text message from the mother, and she stated "I'm giving you a heads up that I'm taking you to Child Support Court." So my question, how can she take him to court for something that they agreed upon and his 22 yr old daughter and his granddaughter is living with us for free. I'm just trying to see what our options are in this situation. Should we contact our attorney who represented him in 2004, or wait for the papers in the mail? BTW, we live in Illinois.

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BeachBabeRN
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Re: HELP!!!!!!! When it rains, it pours!!!! [Re: Cookie29]
      #803665 - 06/12/13 07:29 AM

Not going to work.....especially if a judge signed off on it in 2004 and the child is now an adult.

However, if she does do this, your husband might want to look into it himself to see if she owes HIM money.


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ssmom79
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Re: HELP!!!!!!! When it rains, it pours!!!! [Re: Cookie29]
      #803668 - 06/12/13 08:44 AM

If the daughter which you had custody of is now an adult, she is not involved at all.

But your stepson still lives with his mother, so she may be trying to take you to court for support for him. It's not a given that it will be granted, but I can say it's possible. I mean think about it, you both had custody of a kid, so child support was a wash. Then one kid becomes an adult. Technically, that child is no longer eligible to even the scales so to speak on the child support. Now one child needs to be supported by both parents.

I would contact your attorney because you are likely going to be in court for your stepson.

Edited by ssmom79 (06/12/13 08:48 AM)


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Cookie29
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Re: HELP!!!!!!! When it rains, it pours!!!! [Re: ssmom79]
      #803670 - 06/12/13 09:23 AM

Understood! However, we are not going down without a fight, because it's not fair! We help my step-son out all of the time. Just to name a few, we pay his phone bill, pay for haircuts, in March we took him to Wisconsin Dells, we recently paid for his Sports Training Camp, purchased the sporting equipment, along with buying cleats for football and basebell, paid for him to go out of town with his friend over spring break, etc! We've never once asked her for financial support for my step-daughter and she never offered! Granted my step-daughter is 22, however, she's a FT college student. However, this comes down to my step-kids mother just buying a condo and a new car at the same time that she simply cannot afford and wants US to PAY for it!!!

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ssmom79
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Re: HELP!!!!!!! When it rains, it pours!!!! [Re: Cookie29]
      #803673 - 06/12/13 10:49 AM

The things you do for your stepson are nice and it's always good to help the ones you love but don't confuse that with the need for child support.

I always look to the things I do for my stepkids as a bonus to them, not to their mother. It used to bother me that she would reap the benefits because if I paid for something, she did not have to. I'd rack up totals in my head of the clothes, shoes, extra-curricular things, all the 'extras' we did for the kids but I came to realize it was more important to me for my SK's to have those things so I got them. If she gets to benefit, then so be it. You know what I mean?


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Goodmom
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Re: HELP!!!!!!! When it rains, it pours!!!! [Re: Cookie29]
      #803675 - 06/12/13 08:44 PM

What is the parenting split? If your ss is living with his Mom the majority of time, then it is only right and fair that his father pay child support for the minor child.

Your adult sd and her child living with you have no bearing on the support of a minor child.


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annieo
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Re: HELP!!!!!!! When it rains, it pours!!!! [Re: Goodmom]
      #803677 - 06/12/13 10:01 PM

I am a stepparent and we had the older child the mom had the younger one at the time that the older one aged out and she started getting support for the younger one at least until the younger one came to our house to live (we had the back and forth crap for a time during the teen years - I do not recommend it) and then the mom paid support to my husband.

I wouldn't spend a whole lot of money fighting this because cs can be changed when there is a change in circumstance regardless of a previous court order - the one child aged out which is a change in circumstance.

As ssmom said the things you do for the ss are nice things to do for those we love but certainly not required.

Why isn't your sd contributing to the household financially? She's 22 and has a child - if she is getting financial assistance of any kind she should be a contributing member of the household. If she isn't getting any assistance she should have at least a pt job (even in school and with a child - people do it all the time) to support herself and contribute to the household. Her contribution could offset the new cs order.... Just a thought


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