Dannysmommy
recently joined
Reged: 01/27/05
Posts: 17
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I have a 4 year old son who I have stayed at home with since the day he was born. My husband and I are having serious maritial issues. On Tuesday he went to his preschool, and took our child out of school. I haven't seen him since although I have spoken to him. I have tried to play it nice with my husband which my therapist suggested, now I find out that my husband is going to get a temporary custody order from the court in the morning. This is truely more than I can bear. I am a good mom and can't understand how my husband can do this to me. He has made all kinds of demands using our child as a pawn, and I have gone along with them including the therapy. He also demands that I go to rehab, I am not a problem drinker, although I do drink occasionally and never ever around my son I don't do any drugs. My fear is to have this on my record, but to get my son back I would go. I don't know if anyone else out there has gone through this before, and can offer any advice. I will see an attorney on Friday, but until then I don't know if there is anything I should be doing, any advice would be so greatly appreciated.
Genny
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Onyx
old hand
Reged: 08/03/04
Posts: 816
Loc: Buffalo NY
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I would be hard pressed to see a judge take a child from a parent who was the stay at home for the duration. Your going to counseling, etc, and the fact that he removed the child from daycare was over the line. Why would your counselor tell you to play it nice? Are you and your husband seperated? Do you have any kind of court orders about custody/visitation?
How bad is he portraying your drinking, and does he drink as well? Let us know! Blessings, Onyx
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"Don't Make Me Get My Flying Monkeys"
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Dannysmommy
recently joined
Reged: 01/27/05
Posts: 17
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My husband and I are not separted, but were living together. I went to an attorney this morning to file a temp custody order which he has already filed. My husband didn't file his own order but I am not sure if being first filing the order matters. My husband is a control freak, 12 days ago I watched a friend die he had a heart attack. I tried to do cpr to the best of my ability, but he still passed away. During his funeral and all that was going on I drank quite a bit, but never in front of my child, and my child never seen me under the influnence of alcohol. I was bartending for a friend who owns a bar 2x a week and would have a couple of drinks there, but always came home to my responsibilities as a mom. My husband does drink as well, but never at bars only home, but not in front of our son. He isn't what I would call out of control with drinking either. I appreciate any advice in this matter.
Genny
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Onyx
old hand
Reged: 08/03/04
Posts: 816
Loc: Buffalo NY
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Genny- (funny, thats the name of a beer)- anyway, my advice to you for right now.... stop all extra curricular drinking.... you dont need anyone seeing you out at the bars, and going back to report it. Your child is way too important. If you dont have a drinking problem, then this suggestion will be no big deal to you. As for your husbands drinking, let him do what he wants. As long as it doesnt effect your child. Later on down the road, if you have to be questioned by a GAL, be certain that you keep the same attitude you have now about husbands drinking. Its never good to fabricate. And if you are questioned about your drinking, tell them the truth, and tell them that you stopped the occassional partying, because it was causing problems with your husband, and you wanted to make things work with him, which it seems that you do. More later, I just got home from work, and I am STARVED!
Blessings, Onyx
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"Don't Make Me Get My Flying Monkeys"
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Dannysmommy
recently joined
Reged: 01/27/05
Posts: 17
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I appreciate your advice, and I have already stopped the "extra curricular" drinking. I just met with my husband and a therapist, my husband has filed for a divorce, and I filed for separation management. He wants sole custody of our son, and I agreed to joint physical. We have a hearing on Tuesday morning. It is so long that I haven't seen my little guy, extremely hard to take. Again thanks for the advice.
Genny
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aussie928
old hand
Reged: 10/29/04
Posts: 969
Loc: Dallas
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G'day luv...so he takes the child out of day care..files for divorce and he hasnt allowed you to see your wee one since? I wouldnt think the judge would look to kindly on this...
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Dannysmommy
recently joined
Reged: 01/27/05
Posts: 17
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I pray that you are right Aussie, thanks for the encouragement that I so desperately need right now.
Genny
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Onyx
old hand
Reged: 08/03/04
Posts: 816
Loc: Buffalo NY
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Aussie is correct. Your husband is displaying an inability to make right choices when it comes to your child. Poor choice #1 being that he isnt allowing you to see the child, who is accustomed to being with you everyday. I know that the Judge will look at this, as will the GAL, and if for some reason, they fail to see it, it is your job, and your lawyers job, to make an issue of it. Nothing pisses me off more than a situation like this. Your husband is hurting not only you, but your child that you had TOGETHER. I wouldnt be shocked or surprised if they decide to make you the residential parent, and 50-50 joint. Its called status quo... use it. I will be sending you some positive strong energy, and prayer. Keep your cool, and dont yell or scream... just tell them how you feel. Let us know how this unfolds.
Blessings, Onyx
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"Don't Make Me Get My Flying Monkeys"
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Dannysmommy
recently joined
Reged: 01/27/05
Posts: 17
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Hi me again, I went to see my atty today, and he suggested that I have a psychological exam since my husband is claiming that I am a raging alcoholic/lunatic. Fortunately the psychologist didn't see me the same way as my husband does, I also went for an alcoholic screening where they test your urine. I am all for this, but it just doesn't seem right to me. I will do anything to get custody of my son, but on my husbands false allegations it doesn't seem like I should have to prove my innocence. Has anyone ever had to go through this before? I again appreciate the advice, I am beginning to have doubts about my atty.
Genny
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aussie928
old hand
Reged: 10/29/04
Posts: 969
Loc: Dallas
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G'day luv. Having a psych exam helps to invalidate his accusations...however your attorney should be demanding this of him as well.
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