spiritedone
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 155
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that is an excellent idea legalidiot, thank you.
i am trying to do the search now. fingers crossed hope it gets her thinking and DOING what she needs to do.
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live today like it's your last, for tomorrow may not come.
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legalidiot
enthusiast
Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 250
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It's funny, when I first came on this board, I was a loving father, but I was soooo angry at my ex, that it clouded the issues. I was focused intently on "getting revenge" after all how could she do this ??? After reading the posts of fathers who are drug through the mill, just to see thier children, I realized that I should just move on with the divorce, and focus on my daughter.
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Keep the relationship problems away from the kids
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spiritedone
member
Reged: 12/14/05
Posts: 155
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It's easy to get caught up in emotions and anger is a very strong emotion. Good for you for figuring out what really is most important, the children.
It's too bad lots of people never get there. I was divorced about 10 years ago, and to this day my ex continues to be angry with me. Our children are grown,
he remarried 1 year after the divorce. To much wasted energy.
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live today like it's your last, for tomorrow may not come.
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Annie7676
old hand
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 862
Loc: NY
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You did the right thing. The focus should be on your GS and providing a stable and loving environment for him. Living in that type of environment is not healthy. Your daughter needs to get help and only she can do it AND want it...until she does the GS should be kept safe. Being exposed to that type of violence as a small child is not healthy. Don't feel bad and don't back down.
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lastchance
recently joined
Reged: 02/05/06
Posts: 4
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Oh yeah I agree you did the right thing. I just had to give my opinion on this. I have a cousin with a similar situation. My cousin had a son got married to the dad and then neglected the child for her own gain. The couple always fist fought. Well, I had the kid the first year he was born. Got him about 3 weeks old. I was 16 and the Mom was 18. I did not have legal rights I was just the acting mommy. So the placement of the child was a concern to all of my family. Only one person could afford to fight the system. She just happen to be the great grandma of the boy. With all the fighting and arguing over the boys safety no one's effort were enough to gain custody. So my grandmother being a sneaky B!^ch that she is. Kissed my cousins but had her over to dinner, gave her money, bought the baby all that he needed, offered day care at any time. She changed her whole personality for about two months. Did whatever it took to be near the boy. Finally one day after my cousin and her husband got drunk high whatever they started fighting. Ofcourse now she has her loving and understanding grandma to call for help. Well, my grandma had the papers ready for my cousin to sign. She picked her and her son up drove right home and had one of those talks I love you and your ruining your life. Please let me help you, Here sign this. It worked my cousin was high and she could have fought it but not having the boy for a few weeks gave her a new outlook. She could do whatever she wanted and didn't have to worry about her son. The father was more reluctant to sign rights over but after being threatened with court cost he just signed. The moral is sometime you have to do a little bad to be good. Now the boy is 7 knows his mommy is not such a good person. He understands why his great grandma has him. His mom well she currently in jail awaiting trial ( prison maybe three years). She has never gotten her life together. Some people just don't care.
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ahsmom
member
Reged: 02/20/06
Posts: 149
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It sounds like with the RSV and everything else they would know not to fight. I can't imagine the fear that environment would bring to a child. You did the right thing.
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tlescak
recently joined
Reged: 02/28/06
Posts: 5
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I think you did the right thing turning your daughter over to DHS. It breaks my heart to think of that poor little boy with a fever out in the cold, because mom & dad are boneheads. I wish more people would watch out for OUR children.
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bargranny
newbie
Reged: 02/12/07
Posts: 41
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Thank you for taking a stand. I am sorry for your daughter but regardless of your daughter or your son, maybe you should have spoke up sooner. I don't know why people keep thinking a person will change. My father was an abuser and he never changed. I kept my son away from any abuse and am now seeing the abuse repeated all over again with my grandson's mother. She is abusing the child, and I can't get anyone to listen. They seem to have the idea that a mother wouldn't hurt her children. Good luck to you, my advice tell your daughter if she wants your help and support to get her act together and prove to you she is straightening up, otherwise leave her be. A person will not change unless they truely want to change. Stay in touch with your sister, document all you do for the child and how much contact you have with him, even your phone calls, prepare now to file suit for custody of the child. It will get expensive.
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