PayBack
recently joined
Reged: 01/15/05
Posts: 9
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Hi,
I have a long story, but maybe should keep it short!
My husband (not divorced yet as he says he likes being paid the extra for being in the Military as a married man) has not been paying me the right BAH all year.
He sent me out to the West Coast while he went into Bootcamp a year ago, and promptly dumped me the day after I got here (later to find out he had found a woman on the net he wanted to be with after BC - after 5 years of marriage, but no children).
All I've had is lies, lies and more lies. He has refused to tell me where he is, what his rank is, and in fact only in late November did he finally sign the form so I could have my Military ID to access Tricare (I made numerous calls, tracked him down, spoke with CO's and got nowhere as they all said "it's up to the individual soldier to take care of his personal business".
I look online at the BAH, but cannot find out how much of that I am to receive.
Finally I got hold of the Inspector General, however even he did not know how much my husband should be paying me...my husband has just been ordered to pay (he had been paying me small amounts each month until November when he stopped all payments without a word to me and refused all contact)...it's taken this long to *make* him pay, but he's paying what *he* feels he should pay...and so when he paid yesterday, it was *half* of what he normally pays per month, which is less than what he's *supposed* to pay.
Sorry if this sounds all jumbled..there's so much to say, but trying to condense it somewhat!
How do I find out how much he is to pay me....why will they not make him pay me backpay for all the times he did not pay...why will they not make him make payments on our Visa he left me with...
Why does the Army not care about an abandoned, financially destitute, physically disabled wife that cannot work due to injuries?
:confused:
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Cha
recently joined
Reged: 01/06/05
Posts: 12
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OK, first of all, you aren't entitled to the BAH. In fact, if his command isn't going to force him to pay you then there is basically nothing you can do outside of legal action such as a divorce.
Now, assuming you file for divorce, you will probably get rid of half of your Visa debt but you will probably not get any alimony (since 10 years is the usual cut-off point, from what I understand) and you are not entitled to his retirement pay.
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PayBack
recently joined
Reged: 01/15/05
Posts: 9
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Hi,
Thanks for the advice, although I have been told by JAG and other Military staff, including his CO that I am entitled to the Basic Housing Allowance he is paid - he is only paid this due to being married. They have told him he *has* to pay, however everybody has a different idea of how much that is, and most don't even know!
Given that it is something he is supposed to pay, and he has not been paying this either at all, or enough, then shouldn't they force him to backpay me?
I'm not a money-grubbing person by any means...but I gave up my life/income/family/pets in another country to come back here with him so we could adopt children and he could go into the Army...to be dumped with $2 in my pocket and a huge Visa bill, makes me angry (the Visa bill came about by him preferring to play X-box instead of getting a job)....hell he won't even give back my spinal office chairs I shipped over with me, nor has he given *any* of my belongings back from where we lived in Tx.
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Cha
recently joined
Reged: 01/06/05
Posts: 12
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I'm sure you misunderstood the people you talked to. It's a slight of words, so to speak.
You aren't "entitled" to his BAH. That is a fact.
However, he IS responsible to support his family. This has absolutely nothing to do with BAH and everything to do with his total pay....BAH, COMRATS, BASE PAY, etc.
BAH is a housing allowance that anybod gets when they live off-base. It is slightly higher when you are married. Still, it is not "entitled" to the spouse.
Do you understand what I'm saying? It's sometimes hard to articulate through a post on the internet. :)
Calling his CO should have fixed the problem. I've never heard of the command NOT getting after a member when stuff like this happens. If a spouse calls a command for reasons such as this, well....it does NOT look good on the military member. If you call again, which I would suggest, talk to the senior enlisted member of the command. I think the Army calls them the Command Master Seargent or something like that. They're usually the ones who deal with enlisted issues.
The amount that he is "supposed" to pay to support his family is unknown. I'm not even sure there's a precedent for that. In California, I would imagine that it's quite a bit but I really have no idea and I doubt that JAG or a CO could determine this. You really need to get a divorce attorney.
I doubt that you will get any back-pay since there's been no order for him to pay anything.
It sounds like you're in a pickle of a situation. Should he be doing the right thing? Of course. Can you do anything about it without an attorney? Not likely.
Good luck with it.
Edited by Cha (01/16/05 12:57 PM)
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Diane67
enthusiast
Reged: 08/14/04
Posts: 341
Loc: California
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You should actually begin talking with his first sergeant. They are the top enlisted member of the company. If you go above that, you are working at the battalion level. Start small - go through the first sergeant first. Then call the executive officer then the company commander. Be a bug in their hiney. That should get you some action.
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PayBack
recently joined
Reged: 01/15/05
Posts: 9
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Hi,
Actually I've talked to several of his CO's since he joined the Army, all of whom said they can't *force* him to pay. I began dealing with the Reverend at his base, who then contacted his CO, who then contacted the Inspector General's office.
I received a phonecall from them today to confirm that yes, I do get paid, should have been paid, and now they will *force* my husband to pay or face discharge!
My husband is still being a little sh*t, and paid me half of what *he* thought he should be paying....which is considerably less than what he should be paying....I got a phonecall from the IG's office today who asked if he had paid on 15th...I told him he had paid less than half....so they will give him till the end of the month to cough up the rest....
So there we go...that part seems to be sorted...as far as the Visa bill and backpayment goes, that has to be done with a lawyer...my next step!
Thanks for your support :)
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Diane67
enthusiast
Reged: 08/14/04
Posts: 341
Loc: California
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Just keep going through his change of command. There's something that says they have to be financially responsible to their families.
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KimberMarie
recently joined
Reged: 01/30/05
Posts: 3
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Call MilitaryOneSource and they will give you a free 30 min legal consultation and they can help you with his command. He may not have to support you without a legal seperation, but if you get a legal seperation you can request that he pay you alimony and go through the courts to get paid. His command may try to help, but there is not a lot they can do.
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PayBack
recently joined
Reged: 01/15/05
Posts: 9
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Thanks again for all the replies.
His CO and the Inspector General sent him an official notice last month giving him one month to begin paying the BAH II, which is $480.90 per month.
He is required to pay this until the day he is divorced they said.
I just wish they would make him backpay it for all the months he didn't pay it, but they don't...
Again, thank you all for your help :)
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Diane67
enthusiast
Reged: 08/14/04
Posts: 341
Loc: California
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What was the alternative - an Article 15?
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