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akaem
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Reged: 02/06/05
Posts: 5
New baby
      #8822 - 02/06/05 10:22 AM

My husband ( not divorced yet)has informed me and my children he is having another baby I want to protect my childrens rights with regard to his annuties. life insurance etc, in my divorce. I do not feel the "new" baby has any rights to these items that are already in place and my children should not have to split them 3 ways they have built up alot of money over the 19 years we have been married.This baby should only be entitled to assets obtained by his father after the divorce and nothing before. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.Baby will be born before divorce in final

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TGSM
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 02/06/05
Posts: 5856
Re: New baby [Re: akaem]
      #8841 - 02/06/05 06:33 PM

Unless your husband agrees with you and will incorporate something in your divorce settlement, then I don't believe you can do anything specific to make him will certain property, etc. to your children. The best bet you have is to ensure you get your fair share in a settlement and then you can will to your children what you want.

Right, wrong or indifferent, there is a new baby being born and he or she is not deserving of your hatred. This child will also have the right to be supported.

--------------------
Faith-a f*rm belief in something for which there is no proof...complete trust.~Merriam Webster


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aussie928
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Reged: 10/29/04
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Re: New baby [Re: akaem]
      #8853 - 02/06/05 11:35 PM

I do not feel the "new" baby has any rights to these items that are already in place and my children should not have to split them 3 ways they have built up alot of money over the 19 years we have been married.(quote)

So here is the Q I have for you...let us suppose that after 19 years of marriage you and your husband (still married of course) had another wee one...would you then feel this child had no rights? This is no different..this is his child...and the child is an innocent here...


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akaem
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Reged: 02/06/05
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Re: New baby [Re: TGSM]
      #8855 - 02/07/05 06:17 AM

Thanks for such a quick response. I do not hate this baby there are few things however I left out. 6 years ago "the man" had a vasectomy(spelling) I did come across evidence that it was reversed. We have been in the process of this divorce for over a year.He comes and goes from home whenever he feels like it living most of the time with his girlfriend.Puts about 1/2 of what his legal child support would be into the house. And before he even stated to live with his girlfriend,he took her away with my children.I also offer him the divorce deal of lifetime which only included child support and 1/2 of his annuitys he had cash,and a home we purchased together which I was allowing him to keep.( not any more!)The new mother is extremely well off and I am sure will be well taken care of. :)

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aussie928
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Reged: 10/29/04
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Re: New baby [Re: akaem]
      #8862 - 02/07/05 08:43 AM

Sorry luv but nothing you have said has anything to do with this new child. You will get what you get in the divorce decree,,,a little or a lot...and the rest will be to do what he chooses to do with it. This could be divide by all..or give it away. Though most of the issues you bring up may upset you...and rightfully so.. they wont matter to a judge.

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stressedout
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Reged: 01/27/05
Posts: 30
Loc: New Jersey
Re: New baby [Re: akaem]
      #8873 - 02/07/05 12:22 PM

Hi..
I am kinda in your shoes, but on the other end. The man in my life declared his daughter from his previous marriage as the only heir to any of his assets, monies, etc. (as part of a divorce decree). I now have a 2 year old with him and although I really don't care what his 1st daughter is entitled to or not, I have been on him to make sure that he leaves me not a penny, but ensures that our daughter will have something put aside for college. I can understand your frustration, having put so many (19) years into this marriage and sounds like he pretty much moved on with his life (girlfriend and baby on the way, with no divorce yet)(I too have put alot into this relationship and if it weren't for me, my partner would not have a pot to pee in), BUT, at this point you need to concern yourself more with what you and your children stand to gain and not lose to this child that is coming. Its tough but you need to be strong and keep more important things in perspective. Sounds like your are more angry than anything else. You really don't need all this grief, just get your divorce over with and close that chapter in your life.


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aussie928
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Reged: 10/29/04
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Re: New baby [Re: stressedout]
      #8897 - 02/07/05 11:15 PM

G'day luv..I find this quite sad. Yes in a decree you can assign all your future assets etc to your wee one.. but if there is any chance in hell that you may have another you are crazy to do this. Does the original poster deserve X compensation for being with a man for 19 years ..being the stay at home mom etc..yes I have no problem with this...but to the issue of the wee ones. IMO this is wrong.

The wee one you have with him is no less his then the others regardless. This would be like saying you should leave 50% to first, 30% to second and 20% to the last..as if the order they arrive makes their importance more.


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akaem
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Reged: 02/06/05
Posts: 5
Re: New baby [Re: stressedout]
      #8919 - 02/08/05 06:49 AM

Hi All,
Am I angry??Absoultly!!! For the past year that this divorce has been taking place I was bending over backwards for him.I felt sorry for him even though I knew there was a girlfriend in the picture.He had the best dirvorce settlement presented to him twice and he didn't take it yet for 9 of the 12 months his girlfriend was preganent.This man has made me look like a fool.He makes 130,000 per year and his girlfriend is extremely well off. I on the other hand make 30,000.And the girlfriend is NOW pushing him to finish this off ( wants to be maried before the baby is born)I think they both should have thought of this back in May. Anyway This whole situation is now in the hands of my attorney she will do the negociations and will not even present me with any deal she does not think is fair on my behalf.


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