bmack
recently joined
Reged: 07/23/04
Posts: 1
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my husband moved out 2 months ago - even though we were both unhappy we had NEVER spoken of separation, that is until he met another woman and wanted to be with her, but coudn't bring himself to cheat on me
I worked my butt off for years to fix and keep our credit excellent - Now he's not paying the bills and accounts that he took with him when he moved out, including paying me for 1/2 the mortgage
I say he abandoned me and our house and property - so now it all belongs to me.
I do not want a divorce (yet) and I told him that I would contest anything he put in front of me, and that he would pay for it all 100% - I'm not sure if I even have a legal right to do so, but don't care right now
How can I make him pay these bills. In less than 2 months, he's ruined the credit it took me years to build - he has no idea how to pay bills, or balance a checking account - money flows through his pockets like water (this was always our biggest problem) I took care of 100% of the household stuff
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doodleart
recently joined
Reged: 08/15/04
Posts: 11
Loc: Idaho
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what state are you in?
I am in Idaho.Going thru divorce. Husband trashed my credit. I will be goign bk. Also. I thought that if he carried the divorce on and on that he'd have to pay for it. Not so. I have to pay my attorney and half the court fees if I go to court. Stinks. I was taken to the cleaners for $150,000 and his debt is $50,000... and he wants me to take half of it. I will have to take some of it and then file for bankruptcy as we had cards in my name to consolidate cards at a lower interest. He's used them. And now he wont' pay them. I dont' have enough money to even live on now. Nice system.
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Onyx
old hand
Reged: 08/03/04
Posts: 816
Loc: Buffalo NY
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Hi Doodle... my soon to be ex raked me too. Not for as much as yours did, but enough to ruin my good credit, and set me behind on the bills. He didnt work, and I handed him my check every week, in good faith, trusting him to pay the bills. His settlement money was supposed to be set aside for the kids education, and nest egg in case of an emergency. Well, he blew it all, and took my check every week to wine and dine his girlfriend. He also took her on numerous vacations, when he told me that it was just him and the guys going. Makes me laugh now, because in essence, he was calling her a man. LOL Dont feel bad. You will bounce back. I am just starting to get back on my feet and it feels great. Meanwhile, he is living off of his wonderful girlfriend, and refuses to see or pay support for his son. So, I guess he loses in the end. Karma is a b*tch. Blessings, Sue
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"Don't Make Me Get My Flying Monkeys"
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doodleart
recently joined
Reged: 08/15/04
Posts: 11
Loc: Idaho
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In good faith I let him con me into consolidating debt onto a card in my name with 0 interest. He was going to pay that off. He used the card on top of that. Card with my name on it. So I canceled the card. He went on to another one. Etc. to a point now where he has about 16 cards out. And growing. Then 2 mos ago he decided to not pay the few with my name on them. I can't pay them. So, in the mediation on thurs (which was a total disaster) he wants me to take the cards with the late payments on them. My credit is gone. So I am having to agree to $6000 of the cc debt to keep from going to court because I dont' have the money for that either. I dont' know what he thinks...because I can't pay it. I guess he thinnks I will borrow the money or something. I can't borrow money if I can't pay back the borrowed money. Can't get a loan now. Can't pay the loan back anyway. So. The mediator shoved a paper in front of me and asked me which debt will I take, as I had to take debt. Knowing very well that I can't pay anything on it. Insane. These are HIS charges. From not having a job. I paid the food and mortgage til I couldn't. Med insurance. He drank beer and smoked not to mention buying sterios and things for himself. But apparently, in court, that is ok. As it's all listed as Debt. I charged a pair of shoes and a dollie to move my stuff because he took my 2 dollies. The mediator looked at me like I was the big villian. I will have to go bk. Lots of people do that. I can't buy anyhthing in the future anyway, as I dont' make enough to be able to pay for anything other than low income housing. And I am grateful that I have a place to live. I live in Coeur d'Alene which is a beautiful place to be, even in the winter. It could be worse. I will recover. My stbx is an abusive person. It took me 19 years to get up the nerve to get out. It cost me over $150,000 to get out. but I will claim the rest of my life. What a lesson.
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doodleart
recently joined
Reged: 08/15/04
Posts: 11
Loc: Idaho
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are you in a community state?
I am.
half the debt is yours
Your house is half his.
half half half.
In Idaho, apparently woman have not many rights. It's ok for the husband to rip the wife off. Ok for him to spend what he wants, but not the wife. I was on a "budget" for years. I wanted to get out of the marriage, but he threatened me with his wild fits and abusive blowups. Smashing my things. I was afraid. Too chicken. Kept believing him when he said he'd pay the debts..etc.. He gambled as well. Casono charges. Huge expenses. but the mediator didn't seem ed phased at all. So I'm guessing that the judge iin court won't care either. It's the woman's fault for filing for divorce because she can't take any more. I had no place to live when the house sold. EXCEPT that the stbx wanted me to live in his on the road truck. Give up my job, insurance, son, friends, and I have a medical condition. How nice.
needed to vent.
I would not put up with one ioda of bs ever again
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