shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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Since I have been going through a divorce for three years now, I decided to write a letter to the judge. I stated the facts and told him that I was appalled at how awful the court system is and how it failed me. I also pleaded for my girls' well being, their mother is out of control (drinking, cussing, no discipline). I got a letter back stating that my letter couldn't even be read by the judge and that I had to take appropriate actions through my attorney. They sent copies of the letter to my attorney and to my X's. Now she knows all about it and started quoting statements to me over the phone. Can anyone think of what else I can do to get my kids back. Should I hire a private investigator. My church family is always watching my X and they let me know if they see her purchasing or consuming booze.
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Renee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
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My head is spinning with the replies running thru my head. Please share your wisdom with this poster....
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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We sent a letter to the judge regarding MIL. Our lawyer advised us that you ARE allowed to send such letters. Though we never received any reply. He said you can send a letter to a judge just like you can anyone. However, the case was already over in this instance. So don't know if that made the difference.
The only other thing I could suggest is writing Congressmen, Senators, local papers, etc.
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Char Fox
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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to make sure everyone knows her drinking problems. Anyone try a Private Investigator? Do you think she would know?
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youngatheart
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/03/05
Posts: 9394
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Please define drinking problems. How much is she drinking and how often?
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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I don't really know. but I know she likes wine. Probably ever night,,I can't really say. What do you think of the private investigator? I say she is a functioning drinker. She is a preschool teacher, manages to get the kids to practices, games and dance classes. No DUI or anything. Should I go through her recycle bin. Would that hold up in court?
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getnadivorce
old hand
Reged: 08/22/05
Posts: 791
Loc: Illinois
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A few drinks a night does not make someone an alcoholic.
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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I try to catch her drinking when I return the kids, but I haven's suceeded yet. What about the recycle bin. should I have the kids count when and how many drinks?
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KiwiGirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/09/05
Posts: 6271
Loc: Plains State
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Good grief! I suppose this will fall on deaf ears but I will attempt to help you.
When our spouses disappoint us or hurt us we will look for anything to make us seem like the better person. In your situation you have a wife who does not want to live with you anymore. So how do you bring her down? You claim she drinks. And a lot. Even though you have no proof or evidence.
Get this .... lots and lots of people have a glass of wine or two every night and are not alcoholics or functioning drinkers. YOur wife (and I wonder if you really are divorced yet are in complete denial) has chosen not to live with you anymore. She has a job, she looks after your children. She loses her temper on occaision and uses cuss words. She does not discipline as you see appropriate. And considering you fundamentalist approach i am a little wary to ask for details. I suspect it may have something to do with the length of your daughters skirts.
So it is all about the fact that she does not live up to the high standards you dictate. It seems your church family has taken priority over being a good husband and father. And NO church worth anything pulls a family apart. I suspect your wife just got frightened and fed up. Being with your church family and having them SPY on this woman you see as the wh-ore of Babylon is more important than building a relationship with your children. And once the two of you were in love enough to begat your children.
The thing is... you are not her owner. She does not belong to you. And at the end of the day God is the Being she answers to, not you. And will God see it as OK to be unforgiving, to spy on your wife, to accuse her of things she just does not do? So God will look into your soul and not see an ounce of forgiveness and a miniscule amount of sorrow for the pain you have brought into her life?
After all, even Jesus turned water into wine. If wine is such a curse why did Jesus do the Miracle of Cannan?
If you want to drive your wife/ex further away, carry on being the controller you so desperately strive to be. I suspect you had a very controlling mother and this church of your has given you the permission to take over that control for yourself.
Here is a little prophesy for you. In a few years you will lose your daughters. They will be scorned by your church because they do not adhere so stringenty to their take on God and Jesus. And then you will be left with nothing except bigotted biased people.
In this Holy Week try a little forgiveness and let some of your anger go. Jesus died for our sins on Good Friday. Let your wife face Jesus on her own. And you stop being so judgemental and cruel.
How can you call yourself a Christian when you are intent on bringing about the downfall of the mother of your children through mere spite?
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If I can't be part of the solution I insist on being most of the problem
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shawnmc
member
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 139
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Yes kiwi myself and my church put being married as a top priority to the Lord. She has totally messed up my life and the kids' lives too. No it's not about skirts, it's about being involved in the world of unbelievers. The watch and listen to movies, songs and everything that has nothing at all to do with God. Yea, she has them on Easter Sunday..I don't know how I can get through that. She'll probably have them dye eggs and hunt for baskets. I can't stand it.
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