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anniew
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Reged: 05/28/04
Posts: 1
helping your children
      #12 - 05/28/04 08:34 PM

I am wanting to get divorced and I have two daughters, 10 and 8. They are very close to both myself and my husband. I do not want this to be devistating to them and I know that my husband and I will both do what is necessary to make this easy on our children. We both plan on staying in our small community so the kids don't need to go through too many adjustments. How do we tell the kids? Who stays in the house? How do kids go back and forth from one house to the other. I need help and would appreciate all ideas.

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Shyrider
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Reged: 05/29/04
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Re: helping your children [Re: anniew]
      #14 - 05/29/04 04:07 PM

Hi Anniew ~

Divorce is always hard on the kids, regardless of whether you are on good terms or not. I think it is great that you are both going to try to make this as easy on them as possible, though.

I really don't know how you would go about telling your children, except to sit down with them, (both of you), and tell them that while you love them very much, the two of you feel it is best to live apart. Reassure them as much as you can that you will do everything you can to make this as easy as possible on both of them, and that you would even like to hear their thoughts and ideas on how to make this transition easier on them.

Are you sure divorce is the only option for the two of you right now? If at all possible, save the marriage. Divorce is so difficult on everyone, but especially the kids. ):

I wish you luck, whatever you decide!


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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30984
Excellent attitude... [Re: anniew]
      #88 - 06/07/04 06:25 AM

Since your soon to be ex and you are so in tune to the needs of the children, you might consider "Divorce Counseling". It is not counseling to save the marriage, it is counseling to get through the tough spots that will (and believe me, they WILL) arise during the divorce. Check out your local counseling centers for such a therapist. As for how to tell the children, trust me, they already know SOMETHING is up. Make sure you reinforce the fact that this is NOT their fault, and that both of you love them VERY much. Best of luck!

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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Volition
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Reged: 06/29/04
Posts: 6
Re: helping your children [Re: anniew]
      #530 - 07/02/04 09:46 PM

My ex and I share custody and placement...
Our arrangement actually works out rather well for us;
His work shift starts extremely early in the morning, then he usually gets done around lunchtime. I start work at eight am, and get done anytime between two and five pm. He picks the kids up from school and daycare each afternoon and keeps them until five thirty or six thirty, depending on the day. Early evenings, he brings them home to me and they have dinner with me, later evenings I pick them up after they've had dinner with him. We alternate weekends, solidly, and sometimes he takes them overnight during the week once. (He has to find someone to watch them and get them to school or daycare in the morning, since he's already at work.)
This works well enough for us. The older kids get to see Daddy every day after school instead of going to a sitter, yet they have the stability of knowing where they'll be sleeping during the week. Also, we both get to see the kids and they get to see both of us almost every day.

Good luck.

--------------------
'We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.'


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Diane67
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Reged: 08/14/04
Posts: 341
Loc: California
Re: helping your children [Re: Volition]
      #1491 - 08/17/04 01:18 AM

That's a great arrangement! I don't think my H wants to see the kids that much.

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