jamesjr
newbie
Reged: 04/12/06
Posts: 38
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Any other guy feel as bad as i do when the ex drops your last name and takes her maiden name back? mine finally started using her maiden name at work on her answering machine.i dont know why but it really bothered me.just makes things more of a reality.every time i feel i'm making progress,crap like this happens and drops me down in the dirt again.one step forward,two steps back.
jamesjr
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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I think you would be happy - at least now if she does something wrong, no one will know she was your wife at one point.
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SteelersJR1
addict
Reged: 10/03/05
Posts: 693
Loc: PA
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I kind of know how you feel-in some ways it hurts, in others I think "whew! Glad that happened". It's tough, especially when divorce isn't your idea, but give it time, you'll eventually thank her for what she's done. You'll come out a better man for it all. It'll come around. Wait & see.
Geoff
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Being defeated is only a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
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NancyD
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2105
Loc: New York
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I waited until I was officially divorced, but I went back to my maiden name. Of course, it wasn't too hard since I didn't initially change my name upon my marriage. I only changed it after our first child was born.
But you have to understand that I was in my mid-30's when I married and had already been working in my career for a good ten years. It is the type of work (book design) where I often received credit in the product. Changing it would have been akin to starting over from scratch. Even after I changed it legally, I kept using my maiden name for any credit, and it was a bit difficult.
Going back to it after the divorce was a comfort. It was like having a pair of old slippers right there for me.
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justlorig
journeyman
Reged: 12/03/05
Posts: 89
Loc: New Jersey
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I guess for me ... it had a different spin on the whole name change issue. He cheated on me and moved in with the OW. It felt almost empowering at the divorce hearing to legally take back my maiden name. Strangely enough - I did not want to be associated by name with a person with no character, loyalty, honor, etc. and since I had hyphenated my married name .... I do not feel he should be "viewed" as part as my life anymore because he "threw away" that honorable distinction by cheating. I worked hard and have pride in my name ... sounds cheesy ... but that was the only good thing at the final divorce hearing ... nothing else was fair.
Lori
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BB1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/26/05
Posts: 8051
Loc: MD
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My mom changed her name back to her maiden name after being married to my dad 37 years and having 4 kids. She was just trying to find her individuality.
I know a guy who is divorcing and his stbx wants to keep his name and he's fighting to make her take her maiden name back.
I never changed my name to begin with.
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It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
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Mi1
recently joined
Reged: 08/16/05
Posts: 12
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[quote]
I know a guy who is divorcing and his stbx wants to keep his name and he's fighting to make her take her maiden name back.
[/quote]
Hmmmm, wish I could force my ex to drop my last name! She doesn't deserve it, never did.
Edited by Mi1 (06/28/06 08:41 AM)
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Muad_Dib
member
Reged: 10/25/05
Posts: 199
Loc: Oregon
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I insisted on having my ex go back to her maiden name, but the children both keep my name. It cost $$ but it was worth it...
James,
I'm sorry, but I can't understand your feelings at all. I miss my ex about as much as I miss having a really aggressive brain tumor...
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One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. "Supernatural" is a null word.
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latoca
journeyman
Reged: 06/15/06
Posts: 60
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I'm keeping my married name, Maybe one day I'll change it, but right now Its my revenge on his cheating rear to be known as the first MRS Miller..
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Sieze the day, have no regrets.
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Karen1
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 1794
Loc: Ohio
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I kept mine... had been my last name for nearly 30 years and seemed too much trouble to change it. Plus a part of me felt it would make EX happy if I went back to my maiden name. ANd he was such an ass during the long divorce process that I felt it was just a decision I could make on my own and he could do nothing to stop it.
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
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