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MikeNH
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Reged: 08/09/04
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NH Dad In Recovery Having Problems With Visitation
      #1282 - 08/09/04 07:33 AM

Hi, I am a 48 year old man with two children, 14 year old boy and 10 year old girl. I left what was left of the marital relationship to enter an alcohol rehab in Jan 2003. I graduated the program and have been sober ever since. In the year and a half since I tried to help myself I have been able to get from 2 hour supervised visitations once a week, to 1 two hour a week unsupervised visitation in a public place. In between all of this I have had to bring my ex to court for not allowing me to see my children. (For 3-4 months at a time).

I am disgusted with the judicial system because I feel as if I'm being treated like a murderer. My only problem was drinking, not drugs and I have been sober since 1/2/2003. My ex drinks daily but has not gotten into trouble and it doesn't seem to matter to the court. A judge even told me that nothing I had to say was credible because I was in a rehab.

I had a visit with my son today and not my daughter because my ex said the car broke. Every so many visits she will deny one or more to me and it's back to court which takes 3-4 months to get a date.

How long does it normally take a recovering alcoholic that is sober to get regular visitation? My lawyer says to be patient. They also want me to pay 100% of a Guardian at Litem that could probably help but I'm so broke paying for support, my lawyer and a room.

Is there any help anyone can offer me. I am a very good Dad.

I don't want to sound like a whiner but I am just really frustrated.

Mike In NH


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Gecko
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Re: NH Dad In Recovery Having Problems With Visitation [Re: MikeNH]
      #1288 - 08/09/04 12:42 PM

As your attorney says...it takes time.

File a statement with the court EVERY time there is a problem with your parenting time. Once you establish a "pattern", file contempt charges (OSC).

Offer to pay for 50% of the GAL, provide a financial statement showing that is all you can afford.

--------------------
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!


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Maury
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Re: NH Dad In Recovery Having Problems With Visitation [Re: Gecko]
      #1335 - 08/11/04 05:27 PM

It would appear that there is more to this story than meets the eye. I have never seen a parent ordered to have supervised visits AFTER completing a rehabilitation program.

The only basis for supervised visits are if they are endangered. As a result, your conduct before rehab must have been alleged to have endangered them and the threat of that endangerment still exists. My hunch is that violence was alleged in some fashion.

If that does not apply, it would certainly seem that you were on the painful end of a bad order.


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MikeNH
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Reged: 08/09/04
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Re: NH Dad In Recovery Having Problems With Visitation [Re: Gecko]
      #1376 - 08/12/04 03:59 PM

Hi gecko, you are right there was a simple assault charge.
which i pleaded to the facts. they told me to attend 2 AA meetings a week for 6 months. This happened 3 months before i entered rehab. And the decision about the supervised visitations occured 1 month before i graduated from my rehab program. My x tried charging me with domestic violence 9 months after the fact. i was found not guilty on that charge. Until the simple assault there had never been any charges brought against me.

MikeNH


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