Moi
old hand
Reged: 05/28/05
Posts: 784
Loc: DFW, TX
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If any of you actually GET ALONG pretty well with the SM or BM you were "issued" or if you used to NOT get along and are starting to and see a light at the end of the tunnel OR if you maybe don't get along but you are willing to try and think MAYBE the other person would too.... I have a suggestion.
I, fortunatly, get along tremendously well with the two stepmoms in my life. (I have two ex's) Both woman I would consider my friends and socialize with outside the realm of the kids. (weird, huh?) But many years ago that wasn't the case with one of them. When we decided to put down our weapons and try to get along, she found this site and it is REALLY great. So I figured I'd post the URL in case there is anyone out there that thinks there is some hope for them too.
http://www.comamas.com/home.htm
We nabbed a term off that site... "stepwives" and I do sorta consider these woman my stepwives and I definitly consider them a co-mom. They love my children more than life and would do ANYTHING for them. One has since sperated from my ex (and her now STBX) and there is no doubt in my mind that she will always be here for my children, stepmother title or not. And my children feel the same way. They sent her a card for mothers day and wrote inside, "You will always be our ONLY stepmother." And I believe them.
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Every storm cloud has a silver lining. Will you capitalize on it or b*tch about the storm?
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TGSM
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/06/05
Posts: 5843
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I have been to that site...it is such a wonderful story. I wish things could be that way with my DH's XW. I even thought about sending her that book once, but I know it would just go in the trash. In her mind, I don't exist. Or at least I think she tells herself that...LOL She doesn't communicate with me at all. Even small talk at exchanges, etc. is limited and stiff (on her part...I always try to be friendly.) I am sure part of it is our age difference...it is probably hard for her to view me as a mother figure to any of her children...part of it is her inability to let go of her emotional attachment to my hubby. I thought she was past it until a recent letter came in during the CS court issue...so I feel like we are back at square one since SS moved in with us.
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Faith-a f*rm belief in something for which there is no proof...complete trust.~Merriam Webster
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Moi
old hand
Reged: 05/28/05
Posts: 784
Loc: DFW, TX
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Makes you wonder if it will ever end? I worry about that with the BM. She still makes rather obvious statements that indicate she is so not over the ending of their marriage. My ex is like that. To date, I cannot bring up anything to him without him bringing up our marriage and turning the conversation from our children to our marriage. The last time I even talked to him was in January and he did it then. And he and I have been split up for 8 and a half years!!! UGGGG. So I just worry his ex is going to be like MY ex. And she is remarried! I often wonder how her husband feels about having a wife so obsessed with her ex husbands life.
Edited by Moi (06/12/05 11:33 AM)
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TGSM
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/06/05
Posts: 5843
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We have been together 11 plus years...so It's been a while! LOL Our BM has a fiance/BF too...I think once we are done with support and visitation issues, it will change. She'll have no reason to contact us. :0)
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Faith-a f*rm belief in something for which there is no proof...complete trust.~Merriam Webster
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Moi
old hand
Reged: 05/28/05
Posts: 784
Loc: DFW, TX
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And how many years till that? LOL I have a WAYS to go!!! My SD is only 7! That is 11 more years!
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Every storm cloud has a silver lining. Will you capitalize on it or b*tch about the storm?
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TGSM
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/06/05
Posts: 5843
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Well my youngest SS is turning 15 at the end of this month. So three more years!!! Only two more years to pay Alimony...
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Faith-a f*rm belief in something for which there is no proof...complete trust.~Merriam Webster
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Spring
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7972
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My youngest SD is 10...eight more years! Thing is with BM...she will always find something because she hasn't let go of my hubby. SHe is jealous, spiteful and extremely hateful. She is angry he met me, angry I don't look like road kill, angry I have money...she wanted my hubby to be miserable without her because it was her choice to leave him. She was sure he'd never 'replace' her and certainly not by a woman with integrity and class....and money. It will never end with her!
My ex's wife and I get along just fine. We have had disagreements in the past but never have we argued. I'm not petty, she's not petty and my ex likes to keep the peace as well. Drastic oppostite from what we deal with on BM's side!
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Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.
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Moi
old hand
Reged: 05/28/05
Posts: 784
Loc: DFW, TX
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I am so jeleous :-( But you did your time I suppose so I'll forgive you... hehe.
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Every storm cloud has a silver lining. Will you capitalize on it or b*tch about the storm?
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Moi
old hand
Reged: 05/28/05
Posts: 784
Loc: DFW, TX
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My husband says that is why his ex hates me... I make her look bad.. LOL. Nice thought but I could be a skank and she'd hate me because I made him happy. I don't believe she wants him back. She just wants him miserable pining away for HER.
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Every storm cloud has a silver lining. Will you capitalize on it or b*tch about the storm?
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TGSM
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/06/05
Posts: 5843
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Oh yeah...I have done my time. LOL In the end...I will reap the "rewards" per say. I plan to retire at 45 (when DH retires) and GOD willing, I'll never have to work again...just get to travel and enjoy my husband and this beautiful country!
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Faith-a f*rm belief in something for which there is no proof...complete trust.~Merriam Webster
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