October 31, 2006
Hi, my husband, Ed, and I, Lois, live in Henderson, Nevada.
When our son got divorced in August, 2000 in Washoe County Family Court, in Reno, Nevada, we got phone visitation once a week, and two weeks physical visitation with our two grandchildren, 7 and 6 years old, one week at Christmas time and one week during the summer.
Then, in April, 2004, our son was kicked out of his ex-wife's house after living with her and our two grandchildren for two years, from July, 2002 through April, 2004.
Unfortunately, Judge Charles McGee added me, the paternal grandmother to the Temporary Restraining Order served on my son in Reno, Nevada. I was living in Henderson, Nevada at the time.
Our son eventually left Reno, Nevada and moved in with us in Henderson, Nevada in June, after going to court for the TPO.
I was reading his TPO and noticed that I had been added to it and Judge McGee stated that I had to get my grandparent visitation rights back through my son's Divorce Decree where my husband and I already had paternal grandparents rights of visitation with our two grandchildren.
I was never personally or by mail served this TPO. I never was given an opportunity to defend myself in court on this TPO.
My husband and I had to file a motion to get our Grandparent Visitation Rights back in our son's Divorce Case in Washoe County Family Court, Nevada!
Judge Hardy finally granted us our Grandparent Rights back, giving us weekly phone visitation and two weeks per year physical visitation with our two grandchildren.
Now, our grandchildren's mother is not allowing us to have phone visitation with our two grandchildren or physical visitation.
We are to call every Saturday between 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. We have been calling for over two months now.
Finally, I called the Sparks Police Department to go by and do a welfare check on our two grandchildren. The Sparks Policeman called me back and told us that our two grandchildren are fine. They told us they told our daughter-in-law to call us, which she did.
I asked her why she isn't letting us talk to our two grandchildren and why she isn't calling us back after she gets our phone message on her answering machine.
She told me that our two grandchildren 12 and almost 14 years old don't want to talk to us. I asked her why. She said it is because we didn't pick them up for their summer visitation.
Well, two days before we were suppose to drive from Henderson, Nevada to Sparks, Nevada, 450 mile trip one way, our daughter-in-law called us and told us that both of our grandchildren did not want to come to Henderson, Nevada to visit us for a week. I asked her why they could not tell us this. She said they did not want to talk to us.
Then, on Saturday, right after this incident, we called to talk to our two grandchildren. Our daughter-in-law told us that both of our grandchildren were mad at us because we did not pick them up for their summer week visitation.
I reminded our daughter-in-law that she told us they said they did not want to come visit us. She told us they changed their mind. I asked her why she waited and did not let us know they changed their mind. No response.
Now, when we call, our daughter-in-law continues to not answer the phone and is preventing us from having phone visitation and physical visitation with our two grandchildren.
We cannot afford to hire an attorney to do an Order to Show Cause Regarding Contempt of a Court Order.
We believe that our daughter-in-law is manipulating the court system and badmouthing us to Judge McGee and Judge Hardy in Washoe County Family Court, Reno, Nevada.
Has anyone else in this forum had a similar experience? If so, what did you do to reconcile this ongoing problem!
Ed and Lois Denaut at [email protected]
Henderson, Nevada, USA
Loc: Hillsboro, MO
Personally I only support grandparents rights if one of the parents is either dead, incarcerated or gives up his/her parenting rights. Otherwise the parent can bring the children to the grandparents house during visition times.
When does your son's TPO run out?
My grandchild lives in Henderson, NV with her father(I'll call him R) and step-mother (I'll call her J). June 2001 my son got custody of my grand daughter (I'll call M) and asked for my help. Mother got ill and is now dead. From August 2001 - June 2004, except for 1 month in August 2003 after J(then girl friend) moved into their home, my granddaughter was with me about 45% of the time in CA (with phone contact between her 3-6 week visits, every 4-7 weeks.)
June 2004 M alleged to school that J abused her when R was not home and CPS was contacted. J immediately accused me of making up lies and forcing M to tell her school. So in June 2004 R and J severed contact between my 5 yr old grand daughter and me without even allowing us to say good bye.
In 12-05, the Court saw that I was not with child when she asked teachers for helpand the report to CPS was filed. J had written a 20 page affidavit detailing how I had coached M to lie and also stated the CPS report was filed on June 29, 2004, which meant M was with me the prior 7 days. When we saw the CPS was contacted on June 22, 2004 and it was agreed by all affidavits of all parties that I was not with M the prior 30 hours before she reported to her school and then only with her 1 day before those 30 hours, a moron could figure out, I had nothing to do with coaching the child and J was lying!
We met 2x more in court and J still contended I had coached M to make up such stories.
In 9-05 I filed NRS 125C.050 (2) in Clark County Family Court and by 12-05 I was granted the "right" to visitation. The statute is clear: Petition under subsection (1) OR (2).... I didn't qualify under (1) and did under (2) but the Judge allowed the opposing attorneys to present "documents" to support their opposition under (1) while she did nothing and my attorney did noting. It was crazy and cost a lot of $$.
I'll skip the details. IN June 2006 we wrote up a settlement Agreement and filed it as a Court Order/Sipulation. M's attorney ad Litem (GAL) agreed to perform certain checks and to arrange certain details so that visitation would go as agreed but the GAL has done zero and the Agreement is not working. We agreed to 2 2 day visits/ year + 2 1 day visit/ per year.
J made accusations against me while M and I visited under supervision (meaning the supervisor takes notes) and so to protect myself I agreed to continue under supervision. The GAL is to review those notes to insure that M doesn't reveal any problems at home or with me during visitation. She has done zip.
January 2007 M and I had a 2 day visit scheduled. However, R and J had coached M to say she didn't want to visit but M's story kept changing (as one who is not telling the truth cannot tell the same story twice) and even though I was able to assure M that it was OK to visit because her parents and I agreed to this, it was traumatic for M (and stressful for me)
I forgot to mention that before we settled, while in COURT, drug tests were performed 3 times (all dirty) and the Judge was informed R has done drugs since 13 years of age and alcohol daily since 20 yrs. J uses both also but we have no proof of her history. The Judge did not blink an eye about the dirty tests.
Also I forgot to mention in 12-05 the Judge "ordered" all of us to go to evaluations (another huge cost) and stipulated "no coaching of the child by R or J" but did not check up or even ask about "coaching" and she "ordered" that no party shall interfere with the evaluation. After the evaluationa, she saw that R and J had interfered. She actually saw the letters written to the evaluator alleging "false" statements to say my credibility was lousy and also sent a seven page list of psychosis J determined I owned. I passed all the tests but all those letter permeated the 126 page evaluation. The Judge did NOTHING.
We settled a few weeks before going to trial. What I saw during the 3 days in Court, I figured it was going to be another field day for the attorneys to rack up huge amounts of $$ and the Judge might issue "orders" but there would be no follow up.
My grand daughter was with me and in my care, custody, and control for weeks at a time with my son's blessing, request and approval. We have an established relationship before visitation (& contact) was denied, I passed all the psych tests and thus my petition should have been granted by the Judge no later than when the Evaluation arrived. There was no need for a trial except that is the "game of family Court in Las Vegas in the Court room of my Judge.
Furthermore, Settlement Agreement is not working and all I can do is ask for a "modification" under that same Judge who couldn't make a decision with a simple statute that spells out the conditions in simple language about what to look for.
We can ask to replace the GAL but if we don't get her replaced, I would imagine she'll be very angry at me and I shutter to think of the "power" she has been given in that Agreement.
CPS did nothing when the child reported because the house looked clean and the adults have educations. At Court, even with DUIs and dirty drug tests and proof that I had nothing to do with a 5 year old alleging abuse, the Judge (a mandatory reporter) did not investigate. Abusers do not stop abusing. They just up the ante, isolate the child (as they have done with M) and continue on.
So, if your grand child(ren) is safe, even though you cannot have a relationship with them, keep sending them cards and letters to let them know you love them and some day they will know you tried.
But if your grand child is NOT safe, then don't give up. However, I would advise everybody who suspects abuse to try a P.I. and hope they can expose the abuse because in my case the Court has failed and cannot work (at least with the Judge I have or maybe with the attorneys I have used.)