capricorn2564
recently joined
Reged: 12/02/06
Posts: 8
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I was never close to my daughter who is almost 22. I had to finally let go and let her face the consequences of her actions. Now don't get me wrong I've tried to help her, guide her but she has deep mental issues and I can't force her to get help, I led her to the water, filled a cup, put it up to her mouth, poured the water in but I just can't get her to swallow. My last piece of advice to her was don't ever turn on your family without them you have nothing. Well she did the unforgivable and all roads and ropes back to her family are gone. It took me a long time to be able to say this but for what she did I hope she rots in prison. I have been to counseling and am finally free of the guilt that it was my fault. I did not raise her to be the type of person she has become. I am ashamed of her, but yet I still pray that someday she wakes up, not for me but for her. I don't know if I could live with myself had I done what she has. I'm not falling victim to her lies and webs that she weaves, she took up to much time and energy and when her children confront her she will have to answer them not me. I never thought I would make it through this but letting go of the blame and guilt has given me back my life, when she stands before God and has to explain why she hurt her innocent children the way she did it won't be me suffering the consequences.
Okay now that I've said all that please give me feed back as to your thoughts. I am a very loving person but like most people have a line that when crossed there is no turning back, I will not forgive anyone for sexually abusing a 3yr old. Could you?
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rocketgirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 8562
Loc: On the beach in 14 years...
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Absolutely not... was this your grandchild??? Is she getting help for her mental disorder?
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Lisa
Diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell, and them looking forward to the trip.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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One, you never have to forgive the act, it is vile and reprehensible, and hopefull the criminal is getting what they deserve. Now, She is family no matter what, you can love her without approving of what she did, you never never give up on family, you can rid of the guilt and know your trying, but to stop trying doesn'tmake sense to me. You can always tell her I will never forgive what you did, but you are my daughter and I love you and will continue to help you the rest of my life. You can't live life for her, but you can be there and continue to be a parent. I am sorry, there can never be a reason to cut the ties, unless they do it, even then you can tell her no matter what I am still here. Let her spend her time in prison, and help her get well if you can, but never write her off. It may be one of the hardest things you will ever do, but it is the right thing to do, after all, it is family and when we have nothing else in this world, at least we have family. Never let her think you approve of what she did and let her know if she did it again, you would be the first on the phone to the police, but always be family.
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capricorn2564
recently joined
Reged: 12/02/06
Posts: 8
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Yes these are my grandchildren. There is my 4 yr old grandson and his sister is 20 months and is severely disabled.
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inlovensane
enthusiast
Reged: 05/02/06
Posts: 313
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I, personally could NEVER forgive someone who has done that to ANY child, let alone family. I,DO & DO NOT agree with redlegg, I don't think I could have a relationship with a family member that has done that to their won(?) child. Sexual offenders ARE NOT fixable. They will always be that way, and if they tell you different, it's just to tell you what they think you want to hear. I have worked with sex offenders, and in my opinion, and from experience, unless they are helped before the age of maybe 12 they will always want to offend. It is very unusual for a woman to offend, but becomming more common. She is mentally ill... and she may never even acknowlage that she even did anything wrong. I also think she will not even get to the point of standing before God, straight to hell she goes. Sorry if it hurts, but it's my opinion on the subject.
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Never take away someones hope... it may be all they have left.
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inlovensane
enthusiast
Reged: 05/02/06
Posts: 313
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You do not have to love someone just because they are family. People feel, all different feelings, and after what this woman has done, I dont think I could love her either. But I dont know and hope I never know what it's like to have to be in that situation. People have feelings, and wether others think they are right or wrong, most can't make themselves feel something they don't feel. Like when people say " Don't let it bother you." Well, if I could make it not bother me in the first place, it wouldn't be bothering me now!
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Never take away someones hope... it may be all they have left.
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