Renee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
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I just got off the phone with xSO. I won't bore the board with the blow by blow, but suffice it to say I have that overwhelming feeling of.... resignation? frustration? sadness? I don't know...
He was very upbeat and had called me about and hour ago to chat, then had to call me back when one of the boys friends was dropped off. I think the entire conversation revolved around how the school is picking on the 12yo, and about BMX. As I listened to him it was just so apparent how fundamentally different we are where kids are concerned. I was raised that you don't talk back and getting in trouble wasn't a rite of passage. Had we married I would've been relegated to spectator status, unless of course somebody needed something. Maybe thats okay for some people, but I don't think being a Family is supposed to be like that.
Anyways, its just so apparent that our differences are too fundamental. It hurts my heart because I do love him, but whoever said you fall for the guy thats right for you?
This sucks.
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Curmudgeon
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 2002
Loc: MO Ozarks
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If I may ask,if he's X, why the continued contact? Isn't it better to cut the losses and forge ahead?
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What me worry. I'm retired!
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rocketgirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 8562
Loc: On the beach in 14 years...
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((((Hugs)))))... much better to find out now than after you are married. Still hard to walk away, but at least you can go with a clean conscience. I didn't figure he had changed much, to tell you the truth. He is fundamentally who he is and that will never change.
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Lisa
Diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell, and them looking forward to the trip.
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Renee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
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Certainly you may ask! That I have a reasoned, logical answer is yet to be seen.
I broke off the engagement and asked him to leave for a number of reasons, not the least of which was what I felt was a wavering in his feelings towards me. Since he's moved out he has gone out of his way to maintain contact; not only maintain it, but he's been the one initiating it. When things are good they're awesome. When its just him & I left to our own devices we do very well together, its when the kids are around his head and common sense go directly up his YKW.
I could and should keep my distance. The only obstacle being I still have feelings for him and haven't been brave enough to cut bait.
I am getting stronger though. I was invited to his place last nite and I declined. I guess I'll find the strength to do whats right over time.
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thisaintBB
enthusiast
Reged: 04/18/06
Posts: 244
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Renee hang in there, you'll cut bait when the time is right, like after the holidays or something ha!
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LinusluvsSally
addict
Reged: 08/23/06
Posts: 441
Loc: South Florida
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I think you should make sure he knows EXACTLY what you're looking for in a relationship with him and that you are in the market, so to speak, for a new long term romantic partner. Wherever that leaves him is where he will remain until you find Mr. Right and then it's probably over, whether it's just friends, friends with benefits, or no contact at all.
If continued contact with him will cause you too much confusion or discomfort to be open to a new person then you should just cut him off. But if you want to remain friends and can handle that (with or without benefits) then good for you just enjoy.
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