wheretostart
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Reged: 02/06/07
Posts: 12
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Here's my story...ending my marriage, we have two kids, my wife wants to stay in the house, currently she isn't working and wants me to support her and the kids. I think she can and should go back to work. This concept of Spousal support and child support is new and i do not know what is fair. Is there a way to figure it out or do we just agree on something? her main reason for not wanting to move is so the kids can stay in their familiar environment and go to the same school. Can anyone give me advice on what is "typical" support? Also, how do we divide assets? We have 401k, investments, I have stock from my company..how can you put a value on it? Thank for in advance for your opinions and advice.
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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First we need some facts.
How old are the kids?
How long have you been married?
Did your wife contribute to your education or career successes in any manner?
How long has your wife been out of the work force?
What is she capable of making?
Will she need training/education to become viably employed?
If so, how long will that take?
How much money do you make a year and in what state?
How old are both of you?
Who will watch the kids if/when she goes back to work?
Assets are typically divided 50/50. However, you may want to consider a different split, in liew of alimony or for a reduced amount of alimony.
Your 401k and stock should have a $ value.
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wheretostart
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Reged: 02/06/07
Posts: 12
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First we need some facts.
How old are the kids? 6 and 2.5
How long have you been married? 7 yrs
Did your wife contribute to your education or career successes in any manner? Not really, maybe she helped by staying at home and that allowed me to work more??
How long has your wife been out of the work force? 2.5 yrs
What is she capable of making? probably 45-50k
Will she need training/education to become viably employed? no
If so, how long will that take? n/a
How much money do you make a year and in what state? it varies, but last year 128k (58 salary, 70 bonus/comm) plus I exercised options worth 19k. I am in sales and live in Ohio.
How old are both of you?she is 37, I am 34
Who will watch the kids if/when she goes back to work? our youngest will more than likely go to daycare and our oldest is in kindergarden half days and will probably do daycare before and after school.
Assets are typically divided 50/50. However, you may want to consider a different split, in liew of alimony or for a reduced amount of alimony. Any suggestions??
Your 401k and stock should have a $ value. True, but most of my stock is options and not all are vested. The value could be misleading. How do you divide 401(k) without getting hammered with penalties?
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19801
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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How do you divide 401(k) without getting hammered with penalties?
---> QDRO...Qualified Domestic Relations Order. It allows the split without penalites. Taxes would have to be paid if the monies aren't rolled-over.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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Is your income consistently over $100k?
So you are saying she could reenter the workforce tomorrow and instantly make $45 to $50k?
What kind custody do you want? 50/50. Or will she be primary parent?
Due to the fact that your marriage is under 10 yrs and she hasn't suffered much of a career interruption, I'm guessing alimony will be minimal.
You have to ask yourself if this is what you want for your kids. If she's willing to continue staying at home until the youngest reaches school age and you can afford it, that might be something you want to consider. Afterall, it's very hard to work full-time and be primary parent to 2 toddlers. That could drive even the most normal person insane. Is that the kind of life you want for your kids? Are you willing to take 50/50 custody and share that "pain" or are you expecting her to do most of it?
If I were a man in your position, I'd be willing to pay alimony for 2 more years to keep my wife at home taking care of the kids. Then, once the kids entered k-garten, I'd expect her to return to the workforce to her best capacity.
Lastly, you would QDRO your 401k. That will allow her to roll over her portion of your 401k into a qualified IRA/401k with no penalities to anyone. It will also allow her to withdraw the $$$ and only have to pay income tax on it, but no penalities.
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DevotedMom
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Reged: 02/06/07
Posts: 4
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I know someone in the same situation. Not good.
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wheretostart
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Posts: 12
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Is your income consistently over $100k? no, 2005 I just hit 100k and then this year I did as well.
So you are saying she could reenter the workforce tomorrow and instantly make $45 to $50k? Her last position she was making $43,000, so i believe she can make at least that plus possibly a little more. She has been mentioning going back to work.
What kind custody do you want? 50/50. Or will she be primary parent? That hasn't been decided although more than likely she will be the primary.
Due to the fact that your marriage is under 10 yrs and she hasn't suffered much of a career interruption, I'm guessing alimony will be minimal. Can you define "minimal"?
You have to ask yourself if this is what you want for your kids. If she's willing to continue staying at home until the youngest reaches school age and you can afford it, that might be something you want to consider. Afterall, it's very hard to work full-time and be primary parent to 2 toddlers. That could drive even the most normal person insane. Is that the kind of life you want for your kids? Are you willing to take 50/50 custody and share that "pain" or are you expecting her to do most of it? I am not expecting her to do most of it. Of course I want what's best for my kids. 50/50 might get too complicated especially if I move to a different city. I will share the "pain".
If I were a man in your position, I'd be willing to pay alimony for 2 more years to keep my wife at home taking care of the kids. Then, once the kids entered k-garten, I'd expect her to return to the workforce to her best capacity. With our mortgage even when she returns, could be very tight for her. I suggested selling the house and she is against it. So you are saying I should basically keep things the way they are and support them 100% for the next 2-3 yrs? How does child support play into this? Sorry for the questions, but i am learning as i go...
Lastly, you would QDRO your 401k. That will allow her to roll over her portion of your 401k into a qualified IRA/401k with no penalities to anyone. It will also allow her to withdraw the $$$ and only have to pay income tax on it, but no penalities. Thank you for that info, what about Stock options??
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wheretostart
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Reged: 02/06/07
Posts: 12
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Tell me about the situation and why it isn't good....
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DevotedMom
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Reged: 02/06/07
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Yes overwhelmed is the word. I ended my marriage after 9 years and 2 children. I am in the legal business and yes it does take its toll on things, meaning time away from home and just the stress. Can anyone else relate to this?
Edited by DevotedMom (02/06/07 09:16 PM)
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DevotedMom
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Reged: 02/06/07
Posts: 4
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I am sorry. I guy I know is in the same boat but doesn't want to to anything because he is thinking she will make the first move. I personally think that is a mistake but there is a lot at stake. I wish I could offer you advice but unfortunately alimony plays a huge role.
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