CRASHCREWGIRL
recently joined
Reged: 02/12/07
Posts: 11
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I am active duty, been in 12 years. Going through a divorce with two young children. Husband and I are parting our ways....yet, both have opted to not "fight" and demand the others retirement. I personally am disgusted with the young couples that get married, things go bad, and its usually the woman (hate to say that) complaining and demanding all these benifits, ect. Its seems like an on going problem. Marriage in the military is just like everything else, yet, so many people abuse the system and think they rate all this money. In some cases, I agree that financial assistance would be benificial, as in situations involving longer marriages where the spouse did not work, but stayed home watching children. In that case, I feel that was their job, and they should recieve support for being displaced due to their divorce...but for these young less than 5 year marriages???? CMON People!! Get dirvorced and move on!!
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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There has to be a medium somewhere. It seems crazy to me that a judge can award a spouse a monetary award for the entire lifetime and even less fair that remarriage never comes into it, and that the spouse can get raises every year as well. I believe the spouse should get something, in the form of rehab/education in order to give them the tools to create a new decent life, but a lifetime award, man oh man, only in the military.
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Barbie27_71
recently joined
Reged: 02/01/07
Posts: 12
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Division of retirement as a marital asset has been and always will be a touchy and heated topic for debate. I personally intend to diligently seek division of his retirement in my divorce. He has been active duty for 24 years and I have been married to him for 15, we have 2 children. I feel it is my right to ask for a portion of his retirement. In 15 years we relocated 6 times to different duty stations... of the 15 years a total of 6yrs he was not around due to tdy and deployment. I knew when I married him these were the consequences yet through his absence I took care of the household and the kids as a "single" parent. I worked in contribution to the finances BUT moving hindered my ability to have a "career".
His ability to maintain stability in "his" career during our 15 yrs of marriage was due largely in part to the support he had at home knowing those things were being handled adequately. Therefore I believe and always will that the spouse who places his or her life on hold for an active duty member is entitled!! ( with exceptions to circumstance of course)
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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Whats unfair is that one who is married for one year could get more than you, who was married for 15 years, or someone who was say, a professor at a military academy for 15 years and their spouse did not have to put their life "on hold" for the same 15 years could get as much. The way the act was written after the supreme court decision saying it was not legal leaves no room for exceptions, it leaves it totally up to the discretion of the judge. Thankfully most are reasonable, but that is not really fair. Of course realizing that a military memeber could retire at 37 years of age, an award of probably over 6 or 700 a year for possibly 40 years is quite a bit, even after they remarry, and no matter what they do in their lives. There has to be some protection for the member, and some for the spouse, right now where are the protections for the service member?
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bombdefuser
recently joined
Reged: 02/27/07
Posts: 1
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Military retirement distribution is a touchy subject. It does however seem to be another in a long list of cash cows for the "entitlement" society, currently cultivated in America.
How is a military spouse's life on hold because of military service? Furthermore, how does this entitle anyone to another's retirement? Would you have not taken care of the kids or the household if you had been single? Keeping things together, is life, not something that rates getting a portion of another's retirement, especially for life. I would not expect nor believe that it is something that I am "entitled" to receive or more specifically, something that I had earned.
I can sympathize with all the moves, I had 8 during 20 years, but how does that rate a portion of someone's retirement for life? Changing jobs may entitle someone to some relief until they have job skills, but again not for life.
This is a sore subject as I cannot stand to think that anyone is entitled to something that someone else earned.
If a former spouse is so interested in a military retirement, the military recruiting station is listed in the phone book.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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That is the problem, it seems to be 8 or 800. A spouse's life is not always on hold, but their career may get shortchanged over the years when moving to different places in order for the service member to further his career. Retirements are divided all the time, but a military retirement has no value except on the first of the month. There is no way to value it, so it cannot be a one time division for a specific amount. There is also the fact that it is not a retirement at all, but lower pay for continued service, since you can be recalled and are still subject to the UCMJ. Somewhere in there, there has to be a medium, an award for a certain amount of time, or one that decreases slowly to zero over time, but the way it is now is insane.
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Time4Change
recently joined
Reged: 02/25/07
Posts: 16
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I never thought of it that way. I recently signed a written agreement with my s2bx that he gets 100% of his retirement and I get 100% retirement from my 401K. I always felt that he was the one who earned it, but reading from the posts here I am enlightened. I did put a hold on my career because most of the time he was too busy or obligated with his career. When I went for a consult with a lawyer, he adamantly told me that it's my money too but did not elaborate. I just felt guilty of leaving him so I decided not to take any of his retirement. Should I fight for a portion of his retirement? Then he would fight for mine too but I wont get it until I am over 60. He maybe retiring next year.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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He'd take his portion of you 401K NOW, not when you turn 60. It is called a QDRO and it would be removed from your account after the divorce is final and placed into his own IRA or something.
I'd let sleeping dogs lay...
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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Also remember if he dies one week after retirement, you get nothing and he still got your 401K $$$. I know it is morbid to think about, but I have seen it happen.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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Time4Change
recently joined
Reged: 02/25/07
Posts: 16
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Miranda,
Give me peace of mind that I should let sleeping dogs lay now that I am informed. Talking about ignorance is no excuse.
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