shaybrandy
recently joined
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 11
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hello. i am wondering if someone can tell me what all can be done in this situation. my friends have been seperated for almost 2 years now. the husband has paid to have their divorce taken care of twice now, $2000 total so far, each time she refuses to sign the divorce and it expires..he looses his money. he has been paying her childsupport since day one, based on their verbally agreed amount (450.00) ...and now she wants more.(650.00)..she refuses to sign the papers until he pays more...but this is not half of it. their child recently was kicked out of daycare. the mother took him to a quack dr. put him on some drugs to chill him out so he could go back to daycare for a second chance. teh father found out, is angry, wants him off the meds...and now she refuses to let him see his child..plus has yelled things like "your daddy doesnt love you anymore". the whole thing is a mess. she is the abusive one to the child, verbally. I know for a fact. the wife is my cousin, so i have known her my whole life. I hate to turn against her, but she si taking this too far. he is a good dad that should have a say so in the medical care of his son. what rights does the father have in getting his divorce with our without her agreeing...and seeing his child...????
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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It depends on their state. In Arkansas, a divorce is granted 18 months after filing even if the other party doesn't agree.
-------------------- Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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shaybrandy
recently joined
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 11
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really...this is Missouri. so, it is just granted.??? what about her not letting him see the boy? if she refuses to go to court...then how or who does he contact to get some arranagements?
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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He sues for visitation - or custody. I guess if she doesn't fight back, he might win! He has to get something awarded to him in order to argue that he's not getting what he's supposed to get.
-------------------- Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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shaybrandy
recently joined
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 11
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ok, so he just hires an attorney and sues her for visitation..and then she will have to appear in court and it will be settled by them.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19804
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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Sorry...but your friend is an idiot.
She doesn't HAVE to sign the papers...that's ONLY if they are filing a "consent decree" or "stipulated judgment".
ALL he has to do is take his $2k to an attorney, FILE for divorce (along with custody and child support) and have her served. If she doesn't respond...that's HER problem...he then files for default and he wins. Once she's served a final copy of the decree...he picks up the child and if she says no...he has two police officers with him.
-------------------- If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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shaybrandy
recently joined
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 11
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yes, you are so right...he is an idiot. she is a psycho. he has been afraid of going to court and having a judge assign his child support. thinking it would be way more than what he can get her to agree to. but, it basically has boiled down to her just never wanting this to be over and now he doesnt have a choice. so, yes...he will have to just serve her and except it. is there a way to determine an approximate amount of child support he might have to pay based on his income and stuff?
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19804
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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he has been afraid of going to court and having a judge assign his child support. thinking it would be way more than what he can get her to agree to.
---> Tell your friend that I said he's an a$$hole...this is his child...not some car he can wheel and deal on the price!
-------------------- If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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shaybrandy
recently joined
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 11
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yes, you are right. But...its not about how much he loves his son. he loves his son very much...and would give him anything...and do anything for him. like i said before, she is verbally abusive to him, both of them always has been. she is out to get him because she is pissed she lost her marriage. This is the deal. He has had the boy every weekend, and every wednesday up until last week when seh decided she was going to stop everything. he has picked him up everyday from daycare because the mom works too late, then he drives him to her house on her days. he pays all the daycare, all his medical insurance, still has been giving her 450.00 every month. he is getting screwed. they havent even seen a judge yet. the boy is only 5. he loves his son and wants full custody, but he has little faith that if they were to go to court that he would be granted anything. he is scared that just because he is the dad he would get screwed. i spend my time trying to convince him that he has always done more for their boy adn that he has just as much of a chance as she would. if not more.... on their income scale, he makes 1 dollar more per hour than seh does.
its mainly because everyone he talks to tells him he will have to pay some ungodly amount of money to her adn that seh will "take him to the cleaners". when you are talking about child support, it is soemthing you have to wheel adn deal with on the price...for god sakes...how can you just say that?
just because he will pay childsupport for his child, he should have to pay her whatever or how much ever she wants??? is that right???,
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shaybrandy
recently joined
Reged: 02/23/07
Posts: 11
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one more thing....she was sleeping with another man 6 months before they even seperated. i havent told him that part yet. she confided in me...i even met the other man. that isnt why they got divorced...they just always fought. they were never going to make it....but anyway..the other man dumped her but rodney (her husband) met a girl and they haev been together nearly 1.5 years ....waiting for him to get divorced. this is what angers the wife so much.
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