despedina
addict
Reged: 08/14/06
Posts: 697
Loc: Hillsboro, MO
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Okay I'm starting to have a prob with my ex. My DD is very active in GS. This is the only activity I have her involved in because I don't want to take too much time away from my ex.
Anyway spring semester with the GS is always very active, with different activities our troop is involved in. We do cookies this time of year, which requires some weekend booths, and there are other activities as well.
Anyway it would have been a mess and we couldn't really trade weekends for the stuff that's going on because there are so many weekends with activites.
Of course these activities are not mandatory by any means. My ex did drop DD off at a lock in last fall on one of his weekends and sold cookies (on his own form) also.
So today was International Thinking Day. This was my weekend so no problem there. The only thing was he promised my DD last weekend and on Wed. night that he was coming. Today at Thinking Day we were talking about an activity coming up on March 3rd (his weekend) so I called to tell him where the troop was meeting for the activity (he had already promised to go, and the leader paid for my DD out of the troop fund because he said he would). He said he'll be there no problem and confirmed the time and place. I then told him I'd see him later today.
Well he said he wasnt' coming today and that he was busy. He said he told my DD he might not come. So I said okay and said goodbye.
DD asked when he would come and I told her he wasnt' able to come, she was upset so I told her "your dad told you he might not make it". She said he never said that and my DH agreed, saying my ex agreed to come (DH had spoken to him because I work late). I dont' get why he lied and said he had told my DD he might not make it when he didn't.
So now I'm worried that he won't bring her to Saturday's activity, which requires earning patches. If he said he didn't want to or couldn't come that would be fine, its his time. But the troop paid money for my DD + a parent to participate. DD is worried also.
I'm wondering how should I handle the issue if he just doesn't show after promising (again). All replies appreciated and welcome.
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NancyD
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2105
Loc: New York
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If this is the only time something like this has occurred, I wouldn't worry about it or make a big deal of it. If you think he's starting to develop a pattern, keep a log and see if it reoccurs more often.
I know I tend to forget things on my social calendar if the plans are made too far ahead or are subject to change, because I don't write them down. Rarely, but it has happened, something more important comes along...something mandatory for work or important for my health...and I have to change plans on short or even no notice. I've even said to my kids that something on their social calendar is NOT necessarily on my calendar, too, and they need to find another ride or not go. Sometimes it just comes down to not being able to be two places at the same time.
So, like I said, unless this is a constant reoccurance, I wouldn't let it bother me.
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despedina
addict
Reged: 08/14/06
Posts: 697
Loc: Hillsboro, MO
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You're right, its just that he used to do this alot, but in the last 6 mos he's been more likely to live up to his promises and take her to stuff we've talked about.
I just don't want him to go back to his old pattern.
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