LostHerWay
recently joined
Reged: 07/07/06
Posts: 22
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I am not really looking for advice or help, just more of someone to vent to I suppose.
The STBX and I are in divorce limbo as I like to call it. The divorce was granted, there is just no paperwork to prove it because the details are being appealed. This month he decides that he is above paying child support and just removes my allotment. Now, my lawyer says they can't "force" him to pay the child support and the best I can do is take him to court and file a contempt suit. Now that could take a month or two to get on the court docket so the lawyer’s office tells me that I shouldn't expect this months check or next months check. They then go further to say that the judge more than likely will "let go" of the two months he missed and try again the following month. Sounds great right?!?!? Well it gets better....
I go to the military to attempt to get my child support that way and I am told.... and I quote... "The two of you are no longer married; therefore he is not obligated to support you."
At this point, I can only find the humor in the situation. The court and the military can't force him to pay child support, but if I take the kids out of the state permanently without the stbx's knowledge, I will be arrested on the spot and they will probably throw away the key.
Thank you for that moment to vent!!!!!
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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What you are being told is incorrect. I'd start lighting a fire under these people and start traveling up the food chain.
They are correct he has no obligation to support YOU, he does however have an obligation to support his children. They will defer to the court order if one exists. If not it is up to them on how to proceed. I believe some services have a set amount (like BAH) you must provide your dependants unless there is a court order. Without knowing his branch it would be difficult to tell you.
I will also add (without knowing your particulars) that unless you bifurcated your divorce procedings, his appeal likely nullifies the divorce temporarily. Meaning technically you are still married. I assume you are not free to remarry? And technically if you are still married....well you get the picture. You can be a real PITA if he chooses to not pay CS.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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LostHerWay
recently joined
Reged: 07/07/06
Posts: 22
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I know what I am being told is incorrect. I am dealing with the Army though. I swear they think we are all morons and that if they tell me something, I will just go away. DIDN'T WORK!!! :o) I worked my way up the food chain and now find myself in the presence of the IG. Next I will be on a phone conference with President Bush!!!
PITA isn't the words for what I am about to become!! Like I said though, at this point, I can't really be mad. It is more like a mission and humorous all at the same time.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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This is the regulation that specifically addresses the issue.
http://usmilitary.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.usapa.army.mil/pdffiles/r608%5F99.pdf
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LostHerWay
recently joined
Reged: 07/07/06
Posts: 22
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I was sent a money order in the sum of $400. I was given the "You should be grateful to have gotten anything" speech from not only the laywer, but the military. And so I wait....He is now 3 months behind on paying the proper amount.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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You should not have to go through this. If you do not get a satisficatory response from the IG, not a problem. Contact your congressman, explain the entire situation, and use the names of those involved, and let them know whats going on.
A huge part of readiness in the Army is taking care of families. That falls on the soldiers and their chain of command. A commander who does not support that is ot the kind of commander the Army wants leading its soldiers. Once the congressman makes his inquiry, the Chain of Command has 24 hours to reply, with what is being done to rectify the situation. I would say there is an even chance, the higher echelons in the Chain do not know this is going on and if they did, they would take the appropriate action. The military does support the family and they want the soldiers to do the right thing, when soldiers don't, it takes away readiness and effectiveness. The Army cannot make a soldier gives his spouse money, even though the regulation says she is entitled, they can only punsih the soldier when he doesn't fulfill his obligations.
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Scorpio83
recently joined
Reged: 04/10/07
Posts: 2
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This child support you're talking about. You have a court order, take it to your state office that handles the collection of child support. In Utah it's called the Office of Recovery Services. You'll have your child support in a heartbeat.
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Sad2Bad
recently joined
Reged: 02/09/07
Posts: 7
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OMG, give it a break. Just because the spouse is in the military does not mean you need regulations, the IG, or a Congressperson. For God sakes just use the court system like the rest of us. Everyone wants to call the IG! Do you call the civilian guys boss or his representative? Why no...you don't. YOU DEPEND ON THE COURT SYSTEM. I'm not saying the guy/gal shouldn't support their children...they should; however we are a nation at war and there is a system in place for child support. Let our IGs do the job they are hired to do.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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What exactly is the difference between using the civilian court system and the military rules(laws) that exist. In fact, do the "civilian" guys have anything like the IG, who actually cannot enforce laws, only make recommendations. We are at war, and there are plenty of soldiers who are supporting their children, and their families, divorced or not. I never actually read where there was a court order. So why the problem with using the IG????? Are they too busy or what?
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txks1151
enthusiast
Reged: 03/26/07
Posts: 210
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Not in all cases, but quite often IG and NCIS get overwhelmed with cases that are nothing but spiteful spouses trying to ruin their STBX's career, or at least make their life as painful as possible.
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