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Reged: 04/07/07
Posts: 9
No overnight guest clause
      #219681 - 04/07/07 10:20 AM

Hello everyone,

I am engaged to be married and my fiance and I have been together for 2 years. I have two children from a previous marriage and he has one. His custody agreement has the no overnight guest clause, which is typical in Tennessee. So, everytime he has his daughter, he drives 45 minutes to his parents and I stay here at the house. His ex was pounding at the door here at almost one in the morning, waking my children, demanding to him over the cell phone while she was at the door that I "present myself" to prove I am there and not near her daughter. This has just gotten out of control. He went to pick her up with my kids on Friday and she was yelling in front of them, causing a major scene, and I just want to know what my rights are here. One, is this considered harassment? Two, is there a way to overturn this clause? I mean, we are getting married in 6 months, but have been living together for 3 months now and this is how we have to do things, and that is fine, but I couldn't help but think that there are plenty of commited couples who don't feel marriage is necessary and are quite content in being commited without wearing a wedding band? So are these couples forced to never be around the other when the child is visiting? It seems unrealistic in the society we live in today. With the divorce rate what it is, I just cannot imagine it. I mean, I can understand no parent wants the other to have women/men in and out of the child's life and the ex's bedroom, setting a bad example, but isn't it also the parent's constitutional right to go on with his or her life? This is all very confusing to me, as I am from NY and this is not a clause I have ever even heard of before this. I am just curious as to what the options are for people who are engaged, planning a wedding...and those who simply don't want to get married?

Thank you so much for your advice and help!

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Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10213
Re: No overnight guest clause [Re: TCBGAL]
      #219700 - 04/07/07 11:04 AM

Usually clauses like this are agreed to by the parties not imposed by a court . Why bother trying to have it overturned if you'll be marrying soon ? If his ex continues to show up on your doorstep in the middle of the night , by all means call the police . Here's some useful info from the Tenn. Family Code that may help :

(a) Except when the juvenile court or other appropriate court finds it not to be in the best interests of the affected child, upon petition by a non-custodial, biological parent for whom parental rights have not been terminated, the court shall grant the following parental rights:

(6) The right to be free of unwarranted derogatory remarks about the non-custodial, biological parent, or such parent's family, made by the custodial parent or guardian to or in the presence of the child.

Careful. We don't want to learn from this.

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Reged: 08/27/10
Posts: 101
Re: No overnight guest clause [Re: googledad]
      #700280 - 10/22/10 09:20 AM

I just have to wonder how she will act after you guys are married. It seems to me that she is out for vengence, i dont think it has anything to do with the children. Be careful, i had to deal with a nutty e-wife and it was very stressful, we never knew when she would pull one of her silly tempers, ect: I hope you have peace, once you are married.

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Reged: 08/27/10
Posts: 101
Re: No overnight guest clause [Re: connie60]
      #700282 - 10/22/10 09:23 AM

by the way, i have never heard of this clause either!!!! What if you guys decided to live together instead of marriage? This seems odd to me. That puts him in a bind untill the child is at least 18. I wonder if this was manditory, or if the x made it manditory??

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