sweetbabyjane
recently joined
Reged: 04/17/06
Posts: 18
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My DH has three children, two sons and a daughter. His oldest is in college, and his other son in high school. Daughter is still in elementary school. Anyway, MSS was over at the house last night and an argument insued. SS was mad because DH would not let him go and see his girlfriend. SS got extremely angry, and they ended up in a HUGE argument. SS and DH were yelling, cursing, etc at each other, and things were said out of anger that did not need to be said. SS hit the fridge and dented the freezer door, broke our phone in the kitchen, and when he went outside, hit the columns on the garage and probably hurt his hand. DH had told him that he could not go home, but then he called BM to come and get him. SS said he was never coming over again, and that he wanted his stuff. DH got all his stuff, put it in bags, and took it outside for SS to take home. Now DH wants to sign over his parental rights to BM and wash his hands of SS. I told him that it wasn't a good idea; and that I didn't think a judge would agree to it. He is tired of the fighting (it has happened once before), and so this is what he wants to do. What can I do? I did not get in the middle of the argument last night...I attempted to talk to them last time it happened and that only seemed to make it worse. DH is also having issues with his oldest son...and so I asked him what is going to happen when his daughter does something he does not agree with...is he going to sign over her too? Parenting is not easy, and there is always good with bad. I really don't want SS over at my house right now, I cannot put my girls (or myself) through that stress. He is not a bad kid, just has a temper (both DH and BM have a temper too) and didn't get his way. I am going to suggest counseling for EVERYONE...including BM if that is what is needed. What is my role in this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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NancyD
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 2105
Loc: New York
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Your role is to counsel or comfort your husband. HIS role is to be the father of a teenager which is difficult to do in ANY circumstance, but much more problematic when there is a divorce.
It sounds like SS is developing the usual growing pains that come at his age. I have a 15 yo daughter, and have successfully emancipated (LOL) a 21 year old son. Every gray hair on my head now covered by Revlon Red No. 4R was earned in battle with said children
Unless your SS is unusually sensitive/stubborn/pigheaded and his mother is looking for a way to hurt her ex, I suspect this will blow over and both parties involved will skulk back together and make their peace in a few days.
But be forewarned...EVERY thing is high drama with some teens.
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