RNMOM
recently joined
Reged: 04/29/07
Posts: 20
Loc: Florida
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I have a question. My ex, who is living in the big house we had built during our marriage, is having trouble paying the bills. He tells me the other day he is thinking of getting a roomate. I am the primary parent of our daughter and he has her every other weekend. This concerns me because of all the freaks out there now a days. My daughter is extremely friendly and doesn't fear strange people. Do I have any legal rights telling him that I want background checks done on anyone he considers moving in?
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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Quote:
I have a question. My ex, who is living in the big house we had built during our marriage, is having trouble paying the bills. He tells me the other day he is thinking of getting a roomate. I am the primary parent of our daughter and he has her every other weekend. This concerns me because of all the freaks out there now a days. My daughter is extremely friendly and doesn't fear strange people. Do I have any legal rights telling him that I want background checks done on anyone he considers moving in?
No.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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preemiemom
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Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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Quote:
I have a question. My ex, who is living in the big house we had built during our marriage, is having trouble paying the bills. He tells me the other day he is thinking of getting a roomate. I am the primary parent of our daughter and he has her every other weekend. This concerns me because of all the freaks out there now a days. My daughter is extremely friendly and doesn't fear strange people. Do I have any legal rights telling him that I want background checks done on anyone he considers moving in?
Unfortunately, probably not.. but I'd seriously discuss it with your ex. I'd have the same concern frankly. Too many whackjobs, weirdos and other varietals of generally crazy out there not to be cautious.
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Avaya
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Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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You don't think dad want's to protect your daughter as much as you do?
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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RNMOM
recently joined
Reged: 04/29/07
Posts: 20
Loc: Florida
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Of course I do, but he is thinking about paying the bills. He hasn't been the most reasonable in situations considering he has never raised a child before. I have had to teach him 101 of parenting. He also has that midwestern mentality that "all people are good." This is a man that reuses swimmies diapers!!!!! Just because he doesn't "see" the pee in it he figures they can be reused.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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He also has that midwestern mentality that "all people are good."
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Wow is that the mentality of the mid west? Gosh I woulda thunk that in my 18 years of being raised and living in Wisconsin that someone would have told me that LOL...
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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Rebecca5
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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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I'm pretty sure that a lot of people who haven't raised children before are currently doing so. Myself included. I think I'm doing a damn fine job. Do you have additional, full-grown children?
As for the roommate question....you can ask, and he can tell you to mind your own business. Will you be accepting of him requesting a background check on anyone you allow around your child? Or do you feel like you have the corner market on responsibility? Unless he makes a choice that blatantly puts your child in *actual* danger, you're going to have to accept that he's just as much of The Parent as you are.
I'm also from the Midwest...and I think people are....people. Some good....some crap. Unfortunately, the need to stereotype people seems to be universal.
Reusing a swimmy (is that the singular?) isn't really grounds for Daddy-Jail. People learn. We all make mistakes along the way. If the worst thing he ever does is trust too easily or allow pee to touch the child, the child will be just fine.
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RNMOM
recently joined
Reged: 04/29/07
Posts: 20
Loc: Florida
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Don't be hattin Rebecca5. I have certainly not cornered the market on parenting but I think being a pediatric nurse for over 18 years gives me some credibility. I think reusing swimmies is disgusting. About the midwestern mentality--no harm. I am just trying to make a point that he doesn't have the best judgement. Some of you people on here need to lighten up.
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rocketgirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 8562
Loc: On the beach in 14 years...
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---> scratching my @ss.... yeah... who'd a thunk it? You know us Midwesterners... don't know a damn thing about raisin' them thar curtain climbers.. har, har, har...
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Lisa
Diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell, and them looking forward to the trip.
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RNMOM
recently joined
Reged: 04/29/07
Posts: 20
Loc: Florida
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That's all you hear nowadays is perverts molesting children. Wouldn't you be freaked out if your ex was having to bring a total stranger into his home where your child stays 4 days a month? I think I have every right to be concerned. You can't trust people. And the midwestern comment was a compliment! It's too bad we all can't be so trusting but we can't. We aren't talking about someone my ex is dating or friends he is bringing over. This is a total stranger that will be living in his house. You don't know where this person has been or what their history is. Yes, I think a background check is very reasonable. And yes I would want to meet this person. As long as my daughter will be sleeping in his house I want to be able to sleep knowing she is safe.
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