supermansdaisy
addict
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 658
Loc: SC
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I am wondering what others' opinions are on this topic. More and more, it seems that it is more acceptable to allow your children to live with you long past the age of 18.
In my day, we were all but kicked out after we graduated high school, so that's what I am used to. I am grateful for that shove, because I am very independant and have learned many survival skills.
I think allowing our kids to live at "home" while they pursue a career (whether it be college or otherwise) restricts that child's opportunity for growth. For instance, if a young adult never experiences that too-small apartment with roommates that fight over who bought toilet paper last, never experiences lugging laundry to the laundrymat, never learns how to deal with a crummy car that breaks down all the time.....won't they be missing out on important life experiences/lessons???
What do you think???
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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Right at this moment I'm thinking 2 of them are leaving today at ages 9 and 11!
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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supermansdaisy
addict
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 658
Loc: SC
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I hear you! Take a deep breath! Then take several more! I have a 7yo and a 10yo. AND a 21yo SD. ;)
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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Yep, that's how I was raised. I remember my 1st apartment. I needed Brillo. I reached under the sink and there was NO BRILLO! WTF!?! What did I think...that God just put Brillo under every sink?? LOL Yes, that must be what I thought. I was soooo torked that I had to take my fun money and go buy Brillo! Grrrr
But, these are different times. Sometimes kids so need to live at home to save up for their first place or to get through college. As long as my kids are attending college full-time, I will suppliment their living arrangements. If they aren't in school fulltime, they can support themselves.
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nrvouswrk
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/13/06
Posts: 2362
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My husband and I don't plan on kicking my son out once he turns 18. We want him to be able to concentrate on college. Also, he plans to go to law school. We want him to be able to succeed without the added stress of supporting himself. It is a small price to pay to help him have that kind of advantage in life.
To be honest with you, we enjoy his company. Our home isn't the same when he is gone. If he wanted to leave earlier, that would be up to him.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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On a more serious note I lived at home until I was 20. If my kids are willing to follow my rules they can live at home while attending college if they choose (and providing that by that time I don't have a husband who feels differently) If they don't go to college and choose to enter the work force they can have one year while paying minimal rent to save enough to move out. Unless they really DO leave today. It's getting closer!
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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I'd like to add that if the parents can afford it, I think kids *should* of *off* to college and experience all that entails.
But if they can't afford it, I'd rather see a kid live at home and go to college than not go to college because they are working to support an apartment.
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nrvouswrk
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/13/06
Posts: 2362
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The area we live in is within driving distance to some of the best schools in the country (UCLA, USC). I can afford to pay for those on my own provided he doesn't live there.
Law school is another matter. The best schools are out of state. I would rather put the big money into one of those. I would have a hard time being able to pay for him to go away to school for all 7 years.
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supermansdaisy
addict
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 658
Loc: SC
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I don't know....I am just of the mindset that we are just giving our children too much these days. Whatever happened to student loans, working yourself through college, rooming with 3 other girls to split costs? Buying your own used car?
So many people want to give their kids what they never had....when will it end?
I know...probably not the popular opinion, but I feel strongly about this.
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Dee78
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11820
Loc: TN
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As long as they follow the rules, contribute to the household, and are in school or working fulltime then I don't have a problem with them living at home. It's their choice to make. We are only 5 miles from a private college, 20 or so miles from Univ of TN. And there are about a half dozen other colleges in this area that they could attend while living at home. Why shouldn't they stay home and go to college...focus on their studies instead of whether they can pay the water bill?
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