luvndad
recently joined
Reged: 05/10/07
Posts: 2
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Hi new here....
Last month I received a call from my oldest daughter who I raised as a divorced custodial Dad. She asked if I could come down to visit, as she was having marital problems. I left the next day. It me took four days for the whole story to come spilling out. But when she was finished I had no doubt that the son-in law that I loved was living a double life. To most everyone he was/is 'the life of the party', at home, to my daughter, an abusive, cheating, lying rat. My daughter was conflicted as the good cop, bad cop routine he was playing for many years left her scarred and unsure of herself. I told her that this was real and not imagined and that she needed to take concrete steps to get it together. A week later I got a call from her at 5am she caught him at the 'others' condo and confronted them both(been going on for five years). I was on the cell phone with her at the time and heard both him and her yelling. I felt sick. I flew back down and spent another week planning a course of action. He's 'lost' his 150K job three weeks ago, although he goes to the job site every day(paid under the table?). He has a second business that he has used to hide his finances from her. He pays all the bills so she has nothing in savings. She has been unable to work for 5 years because of a serious medical condition but she runs the second business from home. Name not on the business because she was 'just a housewife'! They have no kids. A good lawyer is $350 per hr with 6K up front. He's hired the 'prince of darkness'and has unlimited support from his family and friends in the same town. He is telling her that he's leaving the state and to sell the house. She virtually has no support system in FL as all, well most, of his friends are/were hers. Any idea's, thoughts?
Thanks
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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How long have they been married? What are her medical issues? Are they documented? Is she on disability? Does she have any education?
How old is she?
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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Tell her to cut loose and you take her in and support her.
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Finally we hear the story of a guy who has the system beat !! Yippee !
Why should he pay your daughter a dime ? She needs to put up and shut up.
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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luvndad
recently joined
Reged: 05/10/07
Posts: 2
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[quote]Finally we hear the story of a guy who has the system beat !! Yippee !
Why should he pay your daughter a dime ? She needs to put up and shut up. [/quote]
Well spoken, a bleeding Lenny Bruce. Why you must must be a 'victim' who hasn't beat the system? If you had any brains you'd might think before you posted your IQ is showing...
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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Dad, help your daughter cut her losses, pack up and bring her home.
Seriously. You seem like a loving father who is pissed. Just be glad she is getting out of this before she had kids with this clown.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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joym525
old hand
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 756
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She is DEFINATELY due alimony...but does she want to go through the heartache of a long nasty costly divorce?
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matilda
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/11/04
Posts: 2087
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I think her safety and self esteem are most important right now. Get her out of there and somewhere safe. Have her copy any documents about the 2nd business and STBX income and assets that she can before she leaves. She might be able to get credit reports as well. Once she is safe and emotions are less strained make a decision about further actions. She will need to be surrounded by loving people to help her heal. One of the best things you could do is just listen to her in a non-judgmental fashion.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30210
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We don't know how long they were married, and we DO know that she is capable of running a business, as she has been doing it.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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luvndad, do yorself a favor, dont get into it with yregna, he is not worth it when it comes to a woman's side of the story. Like relayer said, pack her up and bring her home. Be VERY grateful she never had kids with him. Just bring her home. SHe needs you at this time in her life. best of luck ot you.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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