JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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...I didn't answer. He left me a message. Said "Hey it's me. Just calling to see how you're doing. Love ya."
What world is he living in?
That's what I get for giving him the conversation I "owed" him...I tell him yesterday it's over, period, no matter what. And today he calls to tell me he loves me? We're going to court in 6 days. The divorce will be final. He owes me over $2K in child support...isn't paying his part of daycare again...I don't know HOW I'm gonna pay my rent this month...and he has the nerve...he doesn't think I'm making this decision on my own (as he told me yesterday). He doesn't THINK I'm strong enough. Well damn it I am. This just totally messes with my head. I shouldn't have even listened to the voicemail...thought maybe by chance it was actually something important....
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Spring
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7972
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You can listen, just stop responding. You can do it :-)
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Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.
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KrazyKat
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/05/07
Posts: 1714
Loc: Somewhere in the Middle
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Don't cave in.... Stay strong! Come on here to chat instead of listening or answering him. :)
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If you have a problem, build a bridge and get over it!
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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Thanks. :) I'm not calling him back!!
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Susanf31
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
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I just don't get it. I don't get it at ALL! You seem so affected by his words...acting as if he has you on some type of line and you worry that he might reel you back to him at any time.
This is a guy who you said abused you terribly and yet you act as if you are in "danger" of succumbing to his "moves" at any moment.
If he was truly as abusive as you say and you are truly "moved" by his words to you, you need therapy/help immediately.
Your 'weakness' to his actions and words is scarey.
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Loretta
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 3946
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He's messing with your head. He wants you to feel sorry for him in court, nothing more, nothing less. Don't fall for it. Don't be vindictive, but don't be a pushover either. Go for what you think is fair and nothing more, don't give up everything because you feel sorry for him....I did. Meanwhile, if it is too confusing for you to listen to him, don't. He is trying to manipulate you because court is coming up and he don't want to pay his fair share. You are lucky......you can come here....so come here and get him out of your head. :)
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jil_stevens
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/31/06
Posts: 3893
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Her weakness to his actions and words IS scarey, but not because of her...it shows the hold he had over her, and most abusive men (or women) have that same hold. This is exactly why abused women don't leave the relationship.
Don't fall for the act, JennyLynn...if you ever want to call him back, come chat here first :) Trust me, after a while, you will see it for the act it is, and then it becomes pathetic, but first, don't let him maintain that hold over you.
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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Yes, he abused her. Does she like him? Probably not very much. But there was a reason they got married, she apparently was in love with him. Sometimes it is easy to put the bad stuff aside for a bit and remember the good stuff when the X is being nicey-nicey. And it is good that she is on here venting, rather than running back to him. Does he have a hold on her still? Probably to a certain extent. Should she seek therapy? Probably. But, you know, there used to be a time therapy wasnt used as a fix-all.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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Susan...I have been in therapy since I left him. Not that you have the first CLUE about what it's like to be in an abusive relationship.
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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Thanks Loretta, and you others who actually have responses that relate to the situation at hand.
Yes, he does still have a hold on me. That's why I try to avoid him, it's a tough situation...I have to deal with him for the rest of my life, he's the father of my son. I've come along way, but it's rather difficult to get over 3 years of abuse in 6 months of therapy...especially when you're still dealing with the manipulation. I WANT to trust him, to believe him, it's difficult dealing with the fact that I CAN'T.
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