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Mjmitch2
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Reged: 06/14/07
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Ex moving kids in with new boyfriend - too soon?
      #249796 - 06/14/07 01:58 PM

Location: PA
Divorced 4 yrs.

My Ex-wife is planning on moving my 2 kids in with her new boyfriend in the next few days. She has known the guy less then 2 months, the kids have known him only 1 month, and I know absolutely nothing about him.

Is there something that can legally be done to stop this?

Thanks.


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Melody
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Do you know anything about him? [Re: Mjmitch2]
      #249936 - 06/14/07 07:32 PM

Such as criminal record? If so, then you can certainly file to have custody of the children changed to you in the event the mother moves them in with some horrible person who would pose a serious danger to their lives. But if not, then there's little you can do unless your divorce decree has any specific language about cohabitation.

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PhoenixRising
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Re: Ex moving kids in with new boyfriend - too soon? [Re: Mjmitch2]
      #249968 - 06/14/07 08:32 PM

You have been divorced for 4 years and you are still trying to control your ex-wife???

Do you not get the "ex" part??

Maybe it is "true love", maybe it is "great sex"... What it not is: "Any of your business"!

Sorry, don't mean to be harsh but really you need to get a life...

PS: In answer to your legal question: There is nothing you can do about your ex moving on with her life without you..

--------------------
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato


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Badasp
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Re: Ex moving kids in with new boyfriend - too soon? [Re: PhoenixRising]
      #250202 - 06/15/07 12:11 PM

Only a woman could put it so precise.

Here is a guys view. You are your kids dad, you always will be. I'd make an agreement with the ex that you share specific goals of how the kids are parented by both of you. Then the boyfriend is just that, and you should not care. He is not their dad, so don't get worried unless you are not doing your part to be their father. The kids need structure, not drama.


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jil_stevens
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Re: Ex moving kids in with new boyfriend - too soon? [Re: Badasp]
      #250257 - 06/15/07 01:53 PM

Agreed...my SO and I did not move in with each other that soon because we had kids, but I knew right away that he was the one for me...and now we have lived together two years and that hasn't changed. So, had we moved in together after two months I don't think it would have changed that we are still together. Just lay down rules about parenting and be done with it.

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1004SRS
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Re: Ex moving kids in with new boyfriend - too soon? [Re: jil_stevens]
      #250382 - 06/16/07 07:43 AM

You've been divorced for 4 years. Do you see your children regularly? Do you help with parenting or just see them EOW?
Make sure you are a strong presence in their lives. Provide a good example of what a Dad is.


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focusedon2
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Re: Ex moving kids in with new boyfriend - too soo [Re: PhoenixRising]
      #250470 - 06/16/07 05:53 PM

Quote:

You have been divorced for 4 years and you are still trying to control your ex-wife???

Do you not get the "ex" part??

Maybe it is "true love", maybe it is "great sex"... What it not is: "Any of your business"!

Sorry, don't mean to be harsh but really you need to get a life...





I think it is his business. Anything that could affect the safety of his children is his business.

It is impossible to really know someone in 2 months. Heck, it's impossible to really know someone in 20 years. 2 months - absurd.

If a single person wants to shack up with someone she just met, that might be stupid and unsafe, but it is truly her business only.

But when she has children, she has a responsibility to make sure the person who she will shut her children in with is safe, sane, and responsible.

Would you say it's reasonable for a woman to decide to have a child with someone she only knew for 2 months? If he turned around and dropped her 2 months later, any one would probably say "what was she thinking?". This is a woman who is moving this man in with her children. It's like having a child with a man you just met - better in that he will have no custody rights, worse in that she won't have 9 months to observe his behavior BEFORE he is alone with her kids.

I think the poster has every right to be concerned. He has my sympathy.

Can he do anything about it? No. If the woman has no sense, she has no sense. It's as if she leaves her doors unlocked at night and lives in NY city and says she feels safe and feels her children are safe and nothing has ever happened so it is safe. Is that attitude in the best interest of her children? No. Can he do anything about it? Probably not.


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Buckeye
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Re: Ex moving kids in with new boyfriend - too soo [Re: focusedon2]
      #250586 - 06/17/07 06:40 AM

Unfortunately, the laws are not written on "what ifs". The only thing anyone can do is wait until something happens, and hopefully, it won't be too late then.

Sad state of affairs - people and the law say it is about the child - and they don't consider the child in their actions.


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focusedon2
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Re: Ex moving kids in with new boyfriend - too soo [Re: Buckeye]
      #250654 - 06/17/07 11:20 AM

True.

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Goodmom
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Re: Ex moving kids in with new boyfriend - too soon? [Re: Mjmitch2]
      #256045 - 06/30/07 08:56 AM

Quote:

Location: PA
Divorced 4 yrs.

My Ex-wife is planning on moving my 2 kids in with her new boyfriend in the next few days. She has known the guy less then 2 months, the kids have known him only 1 month, and I know absolutely nothing about him.

Is there something that can legally be done to stop this?

Thanks.




Unless you can prove he is a convicted child predator or on drugs, there isn't much you can do.


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