Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online


Divorce Source Community Forums >> General Divorce Issues

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | >> (show all)
pepperh
recently joined


Reged: 07/17/07
Posts: 21
Loc: Sheppard Air Force Base, TX
Paying NonReimburese Medical Expenses?
      #264310 - 07/19/07 03:10 PM

My ex likes to try to "pull a fast one" on me, and he is about to yet again. I want to be armed with some facts when he does, and I was hoping someone could answer a question for me.

Our NEBRASKA decree states we are to split payment on "non-reimbursed medical expenses", my part being approx. 35% (same as my child support).

Am I required to pay for any cosmetic enhancements (braces) if he has never discussed the need for them with me?

My daughter told me over summer visitation (in June) that she was getting them. As of today, she has them. He has never discussed this with me (the need for them or that he was doing it) , and quite frankly, when I moved to TX from NE, I lost about $10,000.00 a year in income, yet I still pay child support based off the NE income. Needless to say, I'm tapped, and simply can't afford another bill to pay. I know he is going to tell me I need to pay part of it, but I was under the assumption that he HAS to discuss this with me, otherwise, it's his choice and his bill.

Thanks!


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
matart1
Carpal \'Tunnel
*

Reged: 09/01/05
Posts: 2798
Re: Paying NonReimburese Medical Expenses? [Re: pepperh]
      #264323 - 07/19/07 03:37 PM

what does the wording in your decree state..??

is there sole or joint legal/custody..??

I understand you may be tapped out of your pay but you took a voluntary $10,000 decrease in pay and moved away from your daughter.

would you deny your duaghter dental or medical treatment over a lack of discussion.

do you have proof of a second opinion that your daughter is getting braces because of cosmetic treatment or is it because medically she needs them..??

not everyone gets braces because it is cosmetic.

if you took her to an orthodontic surgeon for a second opinion and they said that she did not require braces, then you may have reason to be angry.

braces should have been discussed as it is a large expense to prepare for but if the two of you are not adult even to discuss the child's welfare then you are going to run into a lot of bigger issues down the road....

--------------------
Life is a long lesson in humility.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
pepperh
recently joined


Reged: 07/17/07
Posts: 21
Loc: Sheppard Air Force Base, TX
Re: Paying NonReimburese Medical Expenses? [Re: matart1]
      #264337 - 07/19/07 04:10 PM

<< what does the wording in your decree state..?? >> It states were are to split the non-reimbursed medical expenses per the percentage used in child support. He is to present me with a bill, which I have to pay within 14 days. It also says I have a say in the upbringing of my children, which obviously didn't happen here as this was never discussed with me ahead of time.

<< is there sole or joint legal/custody..?? >> Joint legal.

<< I understand you may be tapped out of your pay but you took a voluntary $10,000 decrease in pay and moved away from your daughter. >> Your walking a fine line with that statement.

<< would you deny your duaghter dental or medical treatment over a lack of discussion.>> It's not about the braces. It's about the continuing control he tries to place on me. I am trying to stand my ground and let him know he cant keep doing this to me. Will I pay for them? Yes. I'll take another job to pay for them, but not because HE tells me I HAVE to. I'd do it for my daughter. However, i'm not about to make this easy on HIM and I want to know - do I HAVE to pay, legally?

<< do you have proof of a second opinion that your daughter is getting braces because of cosmetic treatment or is it because medically she needs them..?? >> I dont even have a first opinion! This was never discussed. I have no idea WHAT is going on besides the email I got today from my daughter saying she got braces today.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Re: Paying NonReimburese Medical Expenses? [Re: pepperh]
      #264385 - 07/19/07 05:47 PM

Legally...not yet. Ortho is sometimes considered cosmetic, so its grey. Its something he'd have to get the court to enforce and they may determine it is or isn't necessary. If it IS necessary, they're going to determine that and order you to pay, PLUS, you'd both be out attorney fees, AND he may ask the court that you be responsible for HIS attorney and likely get it. So if it was necessary, you should work out payment arrangements with him and ask that in the future if he could let you know ahead of time that something like this is going to need done so you can prepare for it.

<< I understand you may be tapped out of your pay but you took a voluntary $10,000 decrease in pay and moved away from your daughter. >> Your walking a fine line with that statement.

Why? I thought the same thing. Why is ANYONE walking any kind of line to only get what you provide? If there's more to it, you need to state it, otherwise, to anyone reading, you're a parent who voluntarily moved AWAY from your child AND for lesser money. No other information was given.

--------------------
Char Fox


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
PhoenixRising
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
Re: Paying NonReimburese Medical Expenses? [Re: pepperh]
      #264386 - 07/19/07 05:47 PM

It depends on what your CO says. If it says that you have joint custody but he has final decision making authority OR if he has sole custody.. Then no, he doesn't have to get you to agree.

--------------------
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7988
Re: Paying NonReimburese Medical Expenses? [Re: pepperh]
      #264570 - 07/20/07 09:41 AM

You say he's trying to pull a fast one like he went out and got her braces just so you would have to pay 1/2. I'm sure you didn't mean to imply that, but that was my impression of your post.

When you saw her in June and she said something about it, did you look at her teeth for yourself?


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
tigerlily
newbie


Reged: 11/11/06
Posts: 46
Re: Paying NonReimburese Medical Expenses? [Re: pepperh]
      #264638 - 07/20/07 01:05 PM

What is the exact wording in your CO in regards to you having a "say in the upbringing of the child?" Is that it, if so, it's a little vague.

I'm confused...I believe it wasn't stated that the pay cut was "voluntary" and my question would be why would that have anything to do with it anyway?

So my DH ex, who chose to work at a low income job, when she could be making more at friggin Walmart, she should then be paying more toward bills because that is voluntary cut in pay then, right?

If a NCP, during his/her parenting time, had braces put on his/her child, returned the child to the CP and handed them the bill and said here you go, time to pay your share. Didn't discuss it with them or anything. I think many CPs would take issue because not everyone can afford to pay for braces at the drop of the hat (within 14 days I believe she mentioned), with no notice.

Also, because she moved away, experienced a cut in pay, that means that the CP doesn't have to consult before putting braces on the child? I get the point that it's a done deal, but WTF?

Are you able to communicate about other medical treatment in the past or is this a reoccuring issue?

My DH ex does stuff like this and worse, constantly so
I understand your concern and the point you are trying to make. My DH and his ex went through a modification this year and exactly what you describe was a MAJOR concern as one of his kids will be needing braces. Not that DH won't pay his share for braces. Not that he won't pay for his share of the medical bills. But that she would just do it, without discussing any of it with him in advance. In our case, BM has a history of not telling DH about medical/dental bills, she let's them go to collections or in a few cases, her funds were condemned before DH even knew a bill existed or that any treatment occured. He's gotten better at tracking things down himself as he's been burned numerous times. Usually an argument for her to even present a bill, in one instance she did provide a bill several years ago and a year later DH learned that she didn't give him the entire bill, only part, and that part had gone to collections! She cannot organize a bill to save her life, but yet she takes them nonstop for medical treatment, doesn't pay ANY of her portion, but doesn't even tell DH so he can pay his portion. DH and I supplied attorneys with a 200 page binder of medical bills DH had to track down, organize and calculate on his own, sometimes a difficult tast with some medical institutions, because she would not supply or tell him about ANYTHING. What did she provide to the attorneys? She didn't have any, nothing, nada, zip, and some were statments that SHE receives monthly and does not pay and she had the audactiy to accuse DH that he doesn't pay his share....when the documentation proved that she wasn't paying ANY of her share and that DH has continuously paid his portion on bills he knew of. DH pays regularly but doesn't get the benefit of the monthly statement without jumping hoops to get it. DH was concerned about the braces, she would not tell him, just do it, DH would have to track down the dentist and go through everything that should have been done in advance, arranging payment, discussing it with BM, etc. He put a stop to it with the wording in the modification, probably won't work though, she'll still do whatever she wants.

Sorry to ramble on, just wanted to present another possible side. I just thought the original post came across as someone who *may* have gotten burned in the past with medical bills/consulting for treatment and maybe not just necessarily one who was trying to get out of paying a bill.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
pepperh
recently joined


Reged: 07/17/07
Posts: 21
Loc: Sheppard Air Force Base, TX
Re: Paying NonReimburese Medical Expenses? [Re: tigerlily]
      #264704 - 07/20/07 05:38 PM

I've never been burned in the past with medical bills. It's more along the lines of what you said - "handed them the bill and said here you go, time to pay your share. Didn't discuss it with them or anything...not everyone can afford to pay for braces at the drop of the hat with no notice."

Granted, my daughter teeth are bad, and braces would do her esteem some good, but for goodness sakes...i save up every month to drive 5 to 10 hours to see my kids (if he wont meet me halfway), and now this gets sprung on me? It's simply frustrating to me that he still has to try to control me this way.

I already spoke with an attorney and he told me eventually I will have to pay it (which I planned on doing anyways). However, according to my decree, he has to cover the first $1,200 a year in non-reimbursed medical expenses. That being the case, he has to send me copies of all insurance claims, all EOBs, all bills for the portions not covered and proof of his payment. Then each month he has to pay the entire bill, and send me a copy of it, with proof of his monthly payment, and within 14 days, I reimburse him my 35%. Simple enough, however, the ex will make a huge case of it. His loss. if he doesn't want to follow the decree, he doesn't get the payment. Simple enough. I'm tired of him trying to bully me. Time for this redhead to put her foot down.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Re: Paying NonReimburese Medical Expenses? [Re: tigerlily]
      #264714 - 07/20/07 06:10 PM

>>>>>I'm confused...I believe it wasn't stated that the pay cut was "voluntary" and my question would be why would that have anything to do with it anyway?<<<<<

Well she stated when she moved she lost income. So its stated like she moved first for some reason, CAUSING the loss in income. She didn't state a reason WHY she moved. So unless its for some serious illness or she's military, its voluntary. Meaning the decreased income was also voluntary. She did the right thing in that she didn't get the support lowered. BUT...as with any NCP, if you move away from your child, you put a distance there, you make communication between you and your child AND you and your ex, more difficult. You're not around for the daily stuff, and therefore, you may find you don't get informed of everything. Don't know all the circumstances here, which is why I said she needs to state more if there's more to it. But don't accuse people of walking some thin line when all that have to go on is the little she provided. Martart did not say ANYTHING out of line, accusatory, or negative in any way. She stated a fact of what was said, in the context of she may have lost some of her joint decisions by creating this distance and possible communication problem.

--------------------
Char Fox


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Re: Paying NonReimburese Medical Expenses? [Re: pepperh]
      #264716 - 07/20/07 06:12 PM

In every case, they MUST send you the EOB BEFORE you have to pay anything at all. Then you have at least 30 days. For a large expense like this, a court would likely work out a payment plan. So as long as you make reasonable payments on the EOB, starting within 30 days from the date you receive them, there's not really a thing he'll be able to do.

--------------------
Char Fox


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | >> (show all)



Extra information
0 registered and 25 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:   

Print Topic

Forum Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is disabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Rating:
Topic views: 5206

Rate this topic

Jump to

Contact Us Divorce Source Home

*
UBB.threads™ 6.5.1.1


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: