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rtw0614
recently joined


Reged: 07/23/07
Posts: 1
Need advice!!
      #265842 - 07/23/07 09:44 PM

First time poster....glad to be here! Here's my story...need feedback and advice!

My husband and I were married about 4 years ago. Shortly after our marriage...his exwife called and asked us to take the kids. We did....but his parents got involved and wound up taking them and having us all sign over guardianship. We moved to where his parents' were so as to be close to the boys and take back custody (which NEVER happened even though they lived in our home).

So,...husband cheated on me with first wife. The one's whose children I was raising. I quit my career to raise those children and our own two girls (now 1 and 2).

I left and then came back when he promised to change his ways. I found out that he had been talking to her for months before actually ending it. She called to talk to her sons all the time....I had to endure this.

My husband demanded that I get a full time job back in June...in addition to the raising of the 5 kids and the work I do with my home-based business. I tried...and just couldn't do it. He would get home late, making me late for work. He didn't pitch in at home to help me out. He said I had to work or leave.

I left.

We are not "legally seperated" yet. Last Thursday he sent me an email saying he loved me, missed me and would move to Virginia to be a family again if he could.

Saturday his exwife flew back in with the boys (spent summer with her and her mom). He had arranged (two weeks ago) to have sex with her this night. They did this with their sons in the next room....BEFORE telling them that I had left (I had a great relationship with the boys).

He has a history of gambling. He ignores his children. He ignored me. Cheated on me 4 times during this marriage....that I have plane tickets/hotel names, dates to prove.

Do I pursue adultery?? Opinions, anyone??

I am now in Virginia....he in Arizona. We lived in Arizona, together, until I left July 01.

Thanks, in advance, for the advice!!


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Sherron
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Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20633
Re: Need advice!! [Re: rtw0614]
      #265873 - 07/23/07 11:06 PM

"Do I pursue adultery?? Opinions, anyone??"

Not sure, can you prove it, and do you really want to go over all that in court? What would be the benefit?Definitely divorce his dysfunctinal a$$, though, and fast...


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almostheaven
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Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Re: Need advice!! [Re: rtw0614]
      #265901 - 07/24/07 06:07 AM

You would have to file in AZ. VA requires you be a resident for 6 months before you can file there. And AZ is a no fault state, so nothing needs proven about adultery in order to get a divorce. It also means that his adultery likely would have no impact on the outcome of the asset/debt split.

--------------------
Char Fox


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Badasp
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Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
Re: Need advice!! [Re: almostheaven]
      #265997 - 07/24/07 12:20 PM

I live in AZ, my exwife cheated, it will have no bearing on the divorce, 50/50 split. They are generous on spousal support though so you might look into your incomes, investments, etc.

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