Lotsoflight
member
Reged: 07/02/07
Posts: 105
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Although I'm getting over him and his deceitful, lying, treacherous, cheating butt, I find that all my memories now feel tainted where he's involved. The birth of our kids (I don't want to think about him being there), my parents 50th wedding anniversary (ruined because he threw a fit), a family trip to Disney World.
I thought I was going down the right path trying to resolve him in my mind as I have been .... and now I don't know how to get past all the tainted memories.
Anyone experience this before?
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"When all you got to keep is strong, move along, move along like I know you do."
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onerose
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/30/05
Posts: 3151
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I know what you mean. I used to think the same way. But now I look at all those things very fondly. I actually only think about the good times. The few that there were. I think you will get there, it just happens with time.
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Badasp
addict
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
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Yea, I ended up with all the pictures and scrap books. When my wife of 26 years decided to check out and be single again she left the whole life of pictures, even hers from before the marriage. I hung on to them for two years and decided I was tired of moving her stuff, if it was not important to her, was not my responsibility.
I burned all of them except the ones of the kids that she was not in. It felt very good...
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Karen1
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 1794
Loc: Ohio
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Bad... you have adult kids right? Did it not occur to you that your kids may want the pics you burned?
I am sure it felt good to you. But she is still and will remain the mother to your kids.
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
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matart1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/01/05
Posts: 2798
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yes and it is normal to feel this way. it is part of healing.
he took away your trust and love in everything that was..
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Life is a long lesson in humility.
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Badasp
addict
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
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Sorry, forgot the part that I asked both boys 23/26 to take what they wanted. They took a few and that was that. I kept some vacation ones that are family shots and all the kids soccer, baseball, football, etc. Just the ones of her alone and her early high school and modeling pictures (never got one job). I almost burned the marriage photo book but decided it might be humor in the future for the boys and their wives/kids to see the outfits from the 70's and long hair...
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Karen1
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 1794
Loc: Ohio
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Good.. glad to hear you let your boys take what they wanted! Real funny on the photo album and the 70's. My photos from the 70's are a hoo. Between the hair and those big plaid design pants for menThey really were popular... but looks so funny now to see some of my group with those on. Course we women had some wild fads of our own.
My son recently was looking at some of my old photos. Had looked at some for a Halloween party in th e 70's... and then some from a few weeks later. He asked if we went to 2 costume parties... and I think he was serious.
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
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Badasp
addict
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
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Bell bottom pants in the tux, white on black, hair to my shoulders (surfer guy from Socal)tan with a bunch of other surfer dudes. Pretty funny. My boys have looked at it when we were going through the stuff and they commented that we all look like something from "Happy Days". My 26 year old said is Fonzie in any of these pictures? LOL
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Patrice
addict
Reged: 07/21/06
Posts: 401
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It can be hard to reconcile what were happy memories from years go with the current situation of being divorced from the person who was part of all those times. I still think fondly of some vacations we took, kids being little, etc. but every now and then the semse of disillusionment I have with ex now creeps in and makes the memory a little less happy. Kind of like part of the fun was having him to share the memories with??
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To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
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KiwiGirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/09/05
Posts: 6271
Loc: Plains State
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They clean up in time. It is like you think you are looking at your life when someone kicks a ball in the shape of divorce thru your world. Then it is all stupid and messy and nothing really looks quite the same.
It took me a lot longer than people thought it did but it does come. Just use lots of mouthwash to get the taste out of your mouth. Don't laugh! If helps!
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If I can't be part of the solution I insist on being most of the problem
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