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tiredincolorado
recently joined

Reged: 07/31/07
Posts: 2

I am tired

#269796 - 07/31/07 06:04 PM

I have been married for a little over 5 years. My wife was employed when we first met but now she works under the table jobs. She also smokes pot. We have a 3 year little girl. Basically I have 2 children that I need to be daddy for. She spends what little money we have without thinking of the consequence. I have to constantly remind her about her tone and language in front of our daughter. Now I am no angel myself but I just can't do this anymore. Because of the drug abuse I am going to request full custody of my daughter. I am not going to move out of the condo until the divorce starts that way I am not accused of abandonment. I bought 2 nanny cams and have proof of the Drug abuse solely for the custody of my daughter. I live in Colorado and I know it is a no fault state in Divorce but surely a parent with a drug habit that she is not willing to quit or get help for is reason to grant my request. Does anyone have any experience with this in no fault states?

The other issue is I have asked her repeatedly to get a part time night job so we can have the extra money for bills and such. I get a stoic look and then she acts hurt that I would even suggest such a thing. As I said all her jobs are under the table and all they pay for is her habit. I have had several 2nd jobs just to make ends meet. I have started another second job now and I am just tired of feeling like I am the only one putting in the effort that a marriage needs. Also I hate to say it but I am going to hold off on filing until April of 08 so I can save money from my second job. I am going to offer her the house which is paid in full and offer to keep her on my insurance so she doesn’t have to pay for her anti-depressants in lieu of spousal support. I know I will have to give her something since on the books she has had a job since before we got married. I guess I just need some advice and some encouragement. I have asked her to go to counseling with me to help us through this but she outright refuses. She does see a physiologist for her personal issues but I just can’t handle a 40 year old daughter any more. Thanks to everyone in advance.

Tired

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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico

Re: I am tired

[Re: tiredincolorado]
#269960 - 07/31/07 09:19 PM

Get a lawyer and file now. I personally could not be with a drug abuser nor would I let one near my children.

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!

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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia

Re: I am tired

[Re: tiredincolorado]
#269994 - 07/31/07 10:09 PM

No fault makes no difference in custody decisions. That only applies to the property division. But if you can show she has a drug problem, that affects the kids AND can affect custody.

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Char Fox

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JustMeAndThree
old hand

Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 993

Re: I am tired

[Re: almostheaven]
#270061 - 08/01/07 07:50 AM

For your child's sake don't wait....the longer she is around this abuse the harder it will be to try and repair the damage it causes. Trust me..I stayed in an abusive (verbal) situation way too long and now I'm playing h-e-double-hockey-sticks to try and reverse the damage my stbx did to my kids. It may mean a struggle but I would check into finding a place for you and your child...line it up...file...and move out with your child....Don't under any circumstances leave the child with the mother...

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Slap yourself, that wasn't funny.

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