JustMeAndThree
old hand
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 993
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Since I found this board some odd months ago...I've made my share of posts. I've also gotten my share of good advice and not so good, or rather UNFRIENDLY comments as well...I've had all sides pointed out to me...which has been a blessing. I appreciate it all becuase it's helped me tremendously...tho I do think a few posters could use a lesson in getting their point across a little nicer. But so be it, to each their own. Even if I don't agree with someones reply or if they have taken my post way out of context it has helped me to see how OTHERS (ie: a judge) can possibly misconstrue things. I do believe that some of the posters who are a little more "seasoned" on the topic of divorce tend to have a momentary lapse of memory when it comes to the conflicting emotions and bad decisions that are made in the beginning. I realize I've done some stupid things since the stbx and seperated Feb 5th. But I also realize that I'm only human...I'm allowed mistakes so long as I learn from each one....
to make my point...I appreciate ALL of the comments, both nice and otherwise...I see many things in a different light now and I have had things pointed out that would have NEVER crossed my mind otherwise...so Thank you to everyone who has commented on my posts. Even a certain someone who makes me realize that there actually is someone out there who is more bitter and angry than I am. 
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Drew
old hand
Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
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How genuinely and eloquently stated. I only found this site after my 2 yr ordeal had come to some final resolution. At least as final as any of this can be. I have come to realize that it will not "end" but every little bit of closure helps.
As for mistakes....we are after all human. No matter how well some might guard there humanity with condescension and the ridicule of others. I think of "mistakes" as lessons, as long as you get the lesson from it and don't repeat it. Some undoubtedly more costly and affecting than others but nevertheless, a lesson. I believe a mistake by definition to be similar to the def. of stupidity. That is to say that if you repeat the incident and expect different results then it is a mistake.
My daddy always said this about advice..."A wise man doesn't need it and a fool won't heed it!"
Well I don't profess to be wise and certainly don't believe myself to be a fool. I guess that means I am willing to give advice an ear, then filter it with a bit of experience and circumstantial relevance, among other considerations, to decide if it applies or helps etc.
Well wishes to you JMAT.
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"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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I felt the same way a few years ago. I got alot of support and alot of blasts, for a little while it bothered me that people who didnt even know all the details could, and still occasionally do, blast me. But, I also know that while alot of people here think alot differently than I do, I recently got the best advice possible pertaining to my situation on here. Things I never woulda thought of. So, although there are some posters who could use some help in the etiquette department, this site can be helpful as long as you ignore the trolls, ie yregna, freedomfighter, etc.... We all know the ones I am talking about.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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JustMeAndThree
old hand
Reged: 04/25/07
Posts: 993
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This forum has helped me to really change my thinking and to see things in a whole new way. At first I would get angry when a poster pointed out MY faults in a situation becuase I was really looking for reaffirmation that my stbx was the complete jerk that I thought he was. But instead I learned that yes, he IS a big jerk BUT I had some attitude adjusting to do as well. Now I'm beginning to be able to read a reply and take a step back and think about it before flying off the handle. I've also learned that I am only at the foot of this mountain called divorce and since my youngest is only 2 I have a VERRRY LOOOOONNNNGGGGG hard road ahead of me and if I continute to let "him" get the best of me that roader is going to be harder and more stressful than it needs to be. I'm sure I will continue to do some stupid things...I just hope that now they will be less and fewer and farther between. I also get a lot out of reading others posts even if they are unrelated to my current situation becuase I've come to understand that anything is possible in divorce and I need to prepare for everything I possibly can so I don't get blindsided. If you can look past the trolls and other hairbrained posters you find some people who have some really good advice and even ones who may come across as bitter but still have something worthwhile to hear.
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Slap yourself, that wasn't funny.
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