freedom123
addict
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 528
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I had court this morning and the judge issued the decree of divorce without a settlement. I'm simply horrified. Yes, I wanted a divorce but why would the judge make the divorce final today without a settlement when I have proof (documents from a local farm credit agency signed and dated two weeks before our separation) that x has done all kinds of horrible, dishonest things (missing cattle, farm equipment, depleting the marital assets, using my CC to buy things for his gf)??? How long is this settlement going to drag out now? I am completely disheartened and devestated. And it was totally to benefit x because he bought some land and couldn't get a loan if he was still married to me. I had to explain it to my children tonight that the divorce was final without even preparing them that the day was now here. I didn't want their cousin telling them tomorrow. It's like cold water was thrown on me. Please, someone tell me that he won't be able to drag this out and not settle forever...this is horrible. He has my son's dirtbike and won't return it...and his guns...I'm simply horrified because I promised my baby that I would get his stuff back but I can't get them back until the settlement.
I so want to be free of him and it feels like it will never happen now...so many things are running through my head.
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PhoenixRising
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
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Bifucated trials (grounds, custody, support, equitable distribution, whatever; all as separate trials); is not that unusual. Many judges do not have the type of schedule to accomodate just one case for long lengths of time.
No one warned me, either. It is quite a shock! It certainly can drag out a long time can't it?
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato
Edited by PhoenixRising (08/06/07 08:37 PM)
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Curmudgeon
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 2002
Loc: MO Ozarks
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I had to bifurcate because the ex wouldn't agree to and dragged her feet regarding settlement. Quite frankly, I think she simply wanted me to dance to her tune and simply be attached. I wasn't having it after it dragged on for two years.
By bifurcating, I got the divorce. Final settlement took another two years.
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What me worry. I'm retired!
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Drew
old hand
Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
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It is pathetic for him to withold the children's things. They will remember that. My x would even keep things that they took over there during our temporary arrangements. I bought so many pairs of shoes I didn't know what to do. They always came home in flipflops or houseshoes. Since the x and I have restraining orders (long story, aren't they all) I do not call or contact and finally had to start sending them in rags and houseshoes. Surprisingly, the children understood completely and asked why I hadn't done this sooner! Go figure. Now they are guarded and careful about anything they take over there.
There are a lot of different laws about appeals and timeframes. Perhaps you can potentially profit from his recent acquisitions? My attorney cautioned me about purchases or business decisions until our thirty day appeal window was closed.
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"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell
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LadyBugRN
veteran
Reged: 06/22/05
Posts: 1498
Loc: Virginia
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"Bifurcating", I've never heard of this before, nor even the word. I wonder if it depends on what state you live in, as to how these things are handled? It took me 3 1/2 years to get divorced. Nothing was final until everything was worked out. In fact, I was divorced a week before I even knew about it. The divorce decree came in the mail from my lawyers office and that was it. That was how I found out. All that time trying to make it happen and it ended without any pomp and circumstances. It was a very strange, empty feeling.
Lori
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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain."
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freedom123
addict
Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 528
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I've never heard that word before either. And I never imagined that I would be going through this so soon without a settlement in place. It is quite scary since ex is such a jerk...and his gf wants everything that's mine or my kids...hence the dirtbike and guns...she has two boys of her own and has told the oldest that he has a dirtbike when he comes to live with them (she doesn't have custody). Oh well...guess I'll just be in for a long ride...darn it. As for the property that he just purchased...I don't want anything that's not mine. I just want things to be fair...no hiding of assets, etc. Luckily my kids are old enough to dress themselves and take care of their own stuff so I won't have to worry about missing shoes and clothes when (and if) he finally starts wanting visitation...unless they are responsible to the items falling missing LOL.
Lori...I think you explained it well...a very strange, empty feeling without the fanfare I expected. Heck, I wasn't even sure I was divorced until I called my lawyer later to ask if I needed to sign anything to make the divorce final.
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