KEA
newbie
Reged: 08/08/07
Posts: 49
Loc: NY
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I am in NY. I met my bf when he was still with his wife. They had an open marriage. She would make dates for me and her husband.
She left him shortly after and moved in with one of the guys she was "dating". This was in 2003. He asked her back around 7 times in a year and each time she said no. She was having the time of her life and telling him all about it. Finally he told her that he was moving on with me. And she freaked!
He lived in the marital residence for a year and then he finally let her have it. She kept saying it was her house, she picked it out and she was still coming and going so the kids had a yard to play in during the day (she's SAHM and her bf's apartment didn't have a yard).
So bf got his own apartment and they had joint custody. Then the wind blew in an opposite direction and she filed for full custody and he let her have it. With the added CS (he was also paying child support to ex#1) he couldn't afford his apartment and he moved in with me.
Fast forward 4 years and they still aren't legally anything. BF filed for divorce over a year ago and she refuses to get an attorney and get things moving.
BF and I had a son who was born in April. She had a fit and said she's filing for adultry and taking him to the cleaners and going to get him in trouble with the military. She said he was VERY disrespectful for getting me pregnant while married to her. She signed her emails "Mrs. So and So".
She is no longer with the guy she left the marriage for, but she has it all over her myspace that she has been with her bf for 3 years and how she left an abusive marriage.
So can she really get him in trouble for adultry? I'm thinking no since it was an open marriage and she knew everything... plus she is now in this relationship. So technically she is also commiting adultry since she's still married. They don't live together, but she writes about their weekends together (it's a LD relationship).
Sorry to be so long. Just curious because bf is so scared and thinks she can really get him into trouble.
Thanks!
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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LOL..the first advice you need is your bf needs to stop having kids he cant afford.
On the other stuff, probably not..soomeone more familiar with NY laws will be along shortly..but..since she is talking about her bf on myspace, go there RIGHT NOW and print a bunch of copies of her little ramblings...and don't keep them all in the same place either
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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KEA
newbie
Reged: 08/08/07
Posts: 49
Loc: NY
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Yeah, he had a vasectomy right after our son was born. It wasn't a planned pregnancy although his ex thinks I did it to trap him. LOL It has always been a life long dream to trap a man who can't afford to pay attention because of all the CS he's paying. She cracks me up. But I digress.
Some where bf has a copy of a check she wrote to him 4 years ago. The account was in her and her bf's name. It was right after she moved in with the guy. He has yet to give it to his attorney.
This woman has him believing that he will have to pay for her health insurance, alimony AND her attorney fees because he and I have a child together. She doesn't work because she's disabled. She gets about $45,000 a year tax free in disability. She CAN use the VA for all her health care, but it's beneath her so she wants HIS insurance or for him to pay for insurance for her. She hates the VA, but sure does love the monthly check from them.
Sigh! My beef is more with him not pushing for the divorce. I don't want to get married, but I hate that she considers them married when it suits her and she keeps threatening things.
Why is it that some men believe everything they hear and are too afraid to actually fight back?
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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Adultery can't be cited as fault for a divorce in NY if both parties are equally at fault , either party could sue on grounds of desertion however . It's unlikely spousal support would ( yeah , it could ) be ordered due to the length of the separation . Attorney's fees could be ordered as well ( depending on where you are in NY ) .
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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KEA
newbie
Reged: 08/08/07
Posts: 49
Loc: NY
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Well she is dragging her feet because 1) she wants to continue using his health insurance and 2) she assumes the next step for us is marriage since we now have a son and she won't be able to handle that.
Everything is already settled except for signing the paperwork to make it official. They have custody and CS in a court order and they did their financial stuff last year because he signed off on the house so she now owns that outright.
She asked him to sign off on the house (they agreed to her getting it outright and he pays about $200 shy in CS) last year before the divorce proceeded (against his attorneys wishes) and she promised she'd get the divorce going if he did it for her. "You won't regret this" were her exact words and that was last fall. She has yet to get an attorney. She got $5,000 back when they filed their taxes, but she took her bf to Vegas in May for his birthday for a week so now she claims she doesn't have money for a lawyer.
Pshaw!
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Brandon29956
recently joined
Reged: 01/14/08
Posts: 14
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...why you KEA would be with this guy, would have a kid with this guy.
I question who is the one being duped here. Stop clinging to an endless and hopeless dream. Dump this guy for good and start over. Being a single Mom would be so much easier for you.
You are the classic girl ganging up on the ex, as your BF sits in the lavish fighting of you two ladies. You are fighting battle and he loves it!!!
Seems so like a Springer show.
Don;t mean to be mean...but I call a spade a spade!!
GET OUT GIRL!!!!!
Edited by Brandon29956 (01/16/08 07:07 PM)
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KEA
newbie
Reged: 08/08/07
Posts: 49
Loc: NY
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Hey, Brandon... thanks for the reply. So much has happened since I posted this back in August.
I never planned on having a child with this man, but it happened and I can't be more thrilled to have my son.
I never ganged up on his wife. I'm unsure where you get that from.
Anyway, we still live in the same home, but aren't a couple. I've totally disengaged from the drama/baggage in his life and I'm so much happier.
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