PhoenixRising
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
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In another thread, Badasp said that the 1st questions that ladies ask are:
1) What do you do for a living?
2) Are you financially independent?
3) What kind of car do you drive?
4) What neighborhood do you live in?
5) What are you going to buy me?
I kind of understand these questions and except for the last one do not find them out of line.
I would be more subtle and not come straight out and ask. I would do it the "high school" way and get the scoop from my friends (I live in a small town).
Regardless of my "methods" it doesn't make the information any less important to me.
1) What do you do for a living
Many of the guys I know are retired or semi-retired. BUT I still want to know what gives them the drive to get up in the morning. I strongly believe in a “Purpose Driven Life” and would only be interested in someone similar.
2) Are you financially independent
Sorry but this would be a showstopper for me. I am not interested in supporting anyone in the style to which they wish to become accustom.
3) What kind of car do you drive
My kids tell me that there are makes of cars that are labeled “mid-life crisis” cars so from that stand point; I believe that cars tell you something of the person. I am a “soccer mom” minivan; that says it all.
4) What neighborhood do you live in
I live on an island. I am not sure this means anything to me. Except anybody from off the island would be “geographically undesirable”.
5) What are you going to buy me
My wish list would include: more ram, a plate joiner and a wet saw but I would be willing to share my tools if he would share his.
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato
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focusedon2
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/10/05
Posts: 2136
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What do you do for a living is very important. It's what you do all day long - so it's something to talk about if all else fails. You also get an idea of how happy a person is with their job, how stable they are, how they get along with their coworkers and more.
Financially independent? That's a given. I'm not dating any teens.
I never thought about the car thing. But I guess I would see someone differently if they drove a jaguar vs. a lexus.
Neighborhood. That's useful to know, especially if you live a little too close or too far away. Also, if it doesn't tell anything about a person's financial stability, it does say a lot about their ambitions.
Buy me? That's pretty bold.
I don't need a guy to buy me anything. . I just want him to redo my deck, fix my chimney, de-weed my lawn, etc. LOL. I'll gladly foot the bill.
I think there are 2 other questions that should come first.
1. Are you married?
2. Are you gay?
Edited by focusedon2 (08/13/07 09:22 PM)
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Drew
old hand
Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
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I ask women I meet if they own a watch.
Why? Because if they don't I figure that is just perfect.
There is a clock in the kitchen above the stove, now go cook something!!!
Ohhhh, thank you ladies and gentlemen you've been wonderful, goodnite!!!
Now before you guys send Guito after me, I was just kidding.
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"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell
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Badasp
addict
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
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You are missing the Scottsdale point of pretentious population.
1. What do you do for a living - Meaning, can you support me and my shopping, buying habits
2. If you are semi-retired, what kind of bank account do you have so I can do #1
3)What kind of car do you drive - If you don't drive a beamer, Mertz or a Range Rover, then we can't outclass my friends so you'll have to buy me one.
4) Where do you live - You have to live in a guarded gate, upscale 5000 square feet of house or we won't fit in with my goals
5)And what will you buy me? Well my friends, when Christmas comes along, you better be shopping at Tiffany's, and it better be bigger than my girlfriends present from her boyfriend. Can you say Carats...
I was not discounting the legitimate questioning along this line to try and find out what kind of person you are...
Can I get people fired up or what?
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Curmudgeon
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 2002
Loc: MO Ozarks
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Quite frankly, if I didn't already know the answer to #1 and have some inkling of the answer to #2, I wouldn't figure I knew the person well enough to ask them out in the first place.
As for #3, even if they own cars, many where I live take public transit, ride bikes or walk (that would be me) to and from their jobs. I really couldn't care less what they drive so long as it's not pretentious. I drive an older car I likely put less than 250 miles a month on unless I'm taking a trip somewhere.
#4. Where they live is likely a reflection on their financial means but doesn't necessarily define them as a person. Who they are is far more important to me than what they have.
Now for #5. Shallow! Very shallow!
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What me worry. I'm retired!
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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The important ones for me are
Do you have a job?----I just want to make sure they can support themselves. They don't have to support me.
Do you have an address?---In other words don't expect to be using mine.
Do you have a car?---Where I live there isn't a lot of public transportation, and while I don't mind driving once in awhile I don't want to drive all the time and no one is using my car! I don't care what kind of car they have. That's not important to everyone. Some people, like me only care about getting from point A to B and they don't care how they look getting there. I can live with that.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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Badasp
addict
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
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Curmudge, i must not be coming off correctly because i am totally annoying some of the women here. I have gone out on two first dates in the past 3 months. Before I asked for their phone number, we talked about their work and my work, so they know I work, without the direct question. She was not really interested in what kind of house I had although eventually it came up but not again directly. When I picked her up, she found out what kind of car I drive. The rest is none of her business unless the relationship progresses.
I guess most women are trying to find out if the guy that they appear to be interested in is a nice guy, has a job, has some money in the bank, owns a home and has a car that in not a piece of junk as opposed to a lying [censored] that drinks too much and roughs up his women but drives a nice BMW and has a nice house.
I get that and have no problem. I was referring to the women that are looking for big money and with that the rest of the questions are mute, and the guys that have the appearance of big money and the game is to find out who is lying.
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Curmudgeon
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 2002
Loc: MO Ozarks
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You came off quite fine. Let's face it. There are those who are money grubbers and there are those who are "real." That cuts across both genders.
My first requirement for a woman in my life after my divorce was that she be long-term employed with her own retirement account(s). What I didn't want was another passive dependent who would suck me dry and give nothing back. I prize independence!
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What me worry. I'm retired!
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focusedon2
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/10/05
Posts: 2136
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Hmmm...
I one hand, I can understand such women. Women are attracted to financial stability like men are attracted to big breasts.
It's just as useless for a man to ask "do you prefer that man with the Mercedes to me and my old Ford" as it is for a woman to say "would you prefer that drop dead gorgeous, forever young and shapely woman to me (imagine someone more real)".
Personally, I think there is a balance. I can't stand anyone who likes to brag about their possessions. But I certainly have enough stress in my life, particularly financial, that I don't need to take on someone else's.
I want an ambitious man (like my ex) but without an extreme ego (like my ex). So I will forgo the Mercedes for a car that works.
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Badasp
addict
Reged: 06/04/07
Posts: 423
Loc: AZ
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focusedon2, question?
If women are attracted to financial stability then why is my exwife still demanding alimony from our normal marriage of 26 years while she cohabitates with a guy that has never been married and is financially very well off? Is it the cake and eat it too or keep taking from the first husband until the second one fully commits. (financially sharing)
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