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TooBlessed
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Reged: 08/15/07
Posts: 25
Forced to pay for private school?
      #275876 - 08/15/07 09:40 AM

Hello,
I am just wondering if any of you have had this experience. My husbands children have gone to a private school their whole life. After the divorce, their mom refused to take them out (even though neither of them could afford it). The kids went there anyway and now there is a really big back bill. My husband informed the school (after the divorce) with a certified letter that he would not be able to pay for private schooling due to the circumstances. Recently, his ex took him to court (actually a referee/mediator) and a decision has to be made as to whether or not the kids will continue to go to this school. We would love for the kids to stay there (it's been their one constant) but isn't it more important to take care of their basic needs 1st? And the public schools here are very good....my kids are love them!
Note: My husband's ex left him and the kids for another man....this is why they are divorced now. My husband had primary custody until she decided she wanted to see the kids. Now, her intention is to take them from him completely (which will never happen if he can help it!) Right now, they have equal/split time.
Thanks for any pointers! We should find out soon (school starts in a few weeks) but I wanted to see if any one here had any experience with this. I can't imagine the Referee suggesting to the Judge that the kids MUST stay in a private school that costs $8000/year (4 kids)!


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freedom123
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Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 528
Re: Forced to pay for private school? [Re: TooBlessed]
      #276191 - 08/15/07 04:31 PM

We didn't have any issues about it but the judge ordered that my kids be able to attend the same private school with my x and me splitting the bill. How long have they been at the school? Mine were 8th grade and 6th grade...middle schoolers.

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TooBlessed
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Reged: 08/15/07
Posts: 25
Re: Forced to pay for private school? [Re: freedom123]
      #276284 - 08/15/07 07:00 PM

Thanks for the reply...
Well, the big problem is that neither of them can afford it. In fact, the past several years, they have had to apply for financial assistance to keep them there (it's a Christian school, so some of the members stepped up to help). They have four children, the oldest will be in 7th and the youngest is starting Kindergarten. For all four to go, it would cost over $600/month. My husband's ex only works PT for very little money and my husband has a sales job and only makes about 45K or so a year. His ex can't even afford to pay rent and keep up her van. We would all love to keep them there, but with the financial issues...and the fact that the public schools are very good here....it just seems more logical to pull them out.
I hope we find out something this week....they didn't see a Judge yet, just a Referee/Mediator....so either way, school is going to start soon and we won't know where they are going to go. But your Judge decided to have you and your ex split the bill? Was that part of the divorce agreement? Or was it brought up later as an amendment to the agreement?
Thanks again!


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Goodmom
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Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2084
Re: Forced to pay for private school? [Re: TooBlessed]
      #276339 - 08/15/07 08:32 PM

The father's major problem with getting the kids into public school is status quo.

The kids have been going to private school since before the divorce. It's been well established that they go to private school.

Is the mother paying a portion of the tuition? Courts usually split it between the parents, in proportion to their incomes (depending on what state they are in).


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freedom123
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Reged: 05/21/07
Posts: 528
Re: Forced to pay for private school? [Re: Goodmom]
      #276432 - 08/15/07 11:25 PM

It was set in the temporary court order...we haven't settled yet but I imagine that it won't be an issue at all. My lawyer had told me that the judge wouldn't upset the lifestyle of the kids since they had been attending the private school for so long. I probably could have argued that my x pay the majority of the bill since we split other bills 68/32 according to our incomes but I told my lawyer that 50/50 would be fine for this particular bill since it's so important to me and never was for him. I imagine that your DH's kids will be able to attend the private school...maybe you, your DH, his x, and her husband can set up a meeting with school admins...sometimes they can find ways to help when extraordinary circumstances arise. Also maybe you could discuss the younger children who aren't so established in the school attend the public schools while the older kids remain where their friends are...moving the 7th grader would be extremely hard on him or her btw.

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TooBlessed
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Reged: 08/15/07
Posts: 25
Re: Forced to pay for private school? [Re: Goodmom]
      #276540 - 08/16/07 11:21 AM

In the divorce agreement, it says that my husband is responsible for 75% of school-related expenses and his ex 25%....but that is not intended for tuition. Only sports, clothing, etc. His ex agrees that is what it means.
Also, the divorce agreement was for my husband to take all of the debt from the marriage and his ex would have none (as well as the paid-off vehicle) and there is no child support paid. Since his ex wanted to leave the marriage (initially, she left them all), then that was the deal and she agreed to it. Now, she is still waiting to get married to the man she was unfaithful with (he is from another country and just got a visa approved)...even though he sends her money, she only works 20 hours a week at a party store and can't pay her bills as it is. So, how could she pay her portion of private schooling?
That is something to consider...to leave the oldest in the school. We will have to see.

I really appreciate your comments :)


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