ELEMO2001
journeyman
Reged: 07/18/07
Posts: 82
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hi all,
some of you may say "here we go again" but i could use any ideas that i can get. i have a 3 and 6 years old kids. from the time that they were born to now i've being depending on my mom to take care of them for me, when i am at school or work so i do have some trust issues with other people taking care of my children it is not like i have so much money to hire a nanny. everytime the school closes i find myself running back to my mom. specially during holidays. how do moms who have no help do it? any thoughts out their? 
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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I pay alot of money to daycare.. That simple. And I have zero life of my own. I'm one of those "moms who have no help", my picture is in the dictionary next to that phrase. Father is no help, family is 200+ miles away, HIS family is no help, friends have their own lives/own problems. So, yes, I fork out alot of money to a daycare provider... if she's sick, I pay for someone else, or I have to take time out of work myself.
I am hoping to win Lotto soon.
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Lotsoflight
member
Reged: 07/02/07
Posts: 105
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Reach out to friends and neighbors you feel you can trust. Offer to babysit for them in exchange for them caring for your children. Establish a network of people that you can rely on for multiple things, not just daycare.
I'm in much your same situation except X does help out when it suits him.
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"When all you got to keep is strong, move along, move along like I know you do."
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Drew
old hand
Reged: 07/30/07
Posts: 1017
Loc: somewhere more familiar
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My children have all been to work with me for a day or two before. It sucks and they hate it (coming to an auto repair facility, getting stuck in the back office) but you gotta do what you gotta do. I have wonderful neighbors and one of them has an au'pare (how do you spell that?) they have helped us out many times. I also do the same for them when and where possible.
Most fortunately for me, our school system has a childcare program called SACC (school age child care) and they are always open. Summer, most holidays etc. My youngest attends there after school everyday and thru the summer. They go on summer trips and have a number of "camps" available.
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"living, learning, from my creator. you gave me life now show me how to live" c. cornell
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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It was my dad who helped watch my daughter due to finances. But it sounds like yours aren't financial issues so much as trust issues. If that's the case, consider that your issues with trust could show to your children, causing them to have trust issues in the future. Keeping them with mom doesn't allow them play like other kids, no bonding with others. You could ultimately cause harm just by being afraid they'll come to harm elsewhere.
Most states have some kind of afterschool program. As finances straightened out for me, my daughter went to daycare, then she was with a private sitter and in these afterschool programs. They were run by the schools, so it's the same people you trust your kids with every day during the school year...school faculty. For daycares, it's easy to check out their reputation. For private sitters, you can ask for references.
Besides, it also doesn't hurt to have a backup in case mom gets sick or needs a vacation. You're going to ultimately need someone else to turn to one day, but if you've never setup a plan for that, you can find yourself doing some unnecessary last minute scrambling, which may not allow room for too much reference and background checking.
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Char Fox
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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I'm going to be in the same boat soon. My mom watched my 3 older kids until they were past kindergarten but now lives 400 miles away, my x used to be a teacher so he was able to take care of them most days that school was out. I am about to have a baby and need to figure out real daycare for the first time. It's a little scary for me.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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