k122175
newbie
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 49
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Can someone please give me some encouraging words on how to get through the next few months before I finally leave my husband and his nasty son and my manipulative, obsessive mother in law? I have made my decision - after the holidays I am leaving my husband but I don't know how I can stay sane until that time. I refuse to leave during the holidays - I don't want my 5 yo associating the holidays with mommy leaving daddy. I know it is going to hurt my son but is it good that he sees and hears my husband and I fighting and then asks me why I'm mean to his daddy? He's too young to realize what daddy and his son are doing to me. There are two many people involved in our marriage - his 15 yo son and my mother in law have no business in it - yet their feelings and opinions matter and mine don’t. I knew when I met him that he and his son were a package deal - I had no problems with that, especially since his bio mother abandoned him and hasn't bothered with him since. But I did NOT know that I would be the only adult and be responsible for EVERYTHING! He feels even though I have a full time office job and he works construction that I can do all the cooking cleaning, bill paying, car maintenance, home maintenance, - everything! I work for a non profit organization but my work is just as draining as his construction job yet I still come home make dinner, clean, do laundry, help with homework, etc. (I don’t get to sit down until I go to bed) I have to do all this even when my husband is on LAYOFF over winter!!!!
Yesterday (unfortunately this is not an isolated occurence - this is how my day starts everyday - with slight variations) the 15 yo would not get up for school and I told him if he misses the bus he’s walking and he said “I’ll just call my nanny and she’ll take me to school.” I told him – get up and get ready – the bus will be there in 15 minutes” and he yelled back at me that he will get up and get there when he's ready  . I told my husband and you know what he said “he’s a kid – what am I supposed to do?” Why can’t he be his father – if he would just say “don’t talk to your mother like that” – just once – it would mean so much to me – but he can’t do it. Just like he can’t tell his mother to stop undermining me – I swear the woman has this “Godmother” like hold on her sons.
I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE – I have always put others before myself and I have become a miserable resentful person and I hate what this is doing to me!
Can someone please give me some guidance to get through the next few months.
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jss1
member
Reged: 10/09/07
Posts: 133
Loc: New York
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Plan your exit. Cover your contingencies. there is alot, you need a safe healthy place for your son. You need furniture cooking utensils etc. Plan which of your mail to change the address, start settling ( or planning to) joint financial accounts, put your mind to creative things to make your future that much better, get a good shrink also
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Life is tough dont make it tougher.
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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How are you so sure you will get custody of your son? He has a proven history of obtaining custody of his kids.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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k122175
newbie
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 49
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Actually - my husband received custody of the 15 yo because when he was 2 yo his bio mother abandoned him and hasn't bothered with him since. At that time my husband was trying to be a "professional wrestler" and sent the then 2 yo to live with his mother (my mother in law, the boys grandmother) and he lived there until my husband and I met. Before we met though my husband had a son with his then girlfriend - she didn't want the first son so my husband left him with his grandmother and after he left the girlfriend we met and I took in the son and encouraged visitation and support for the second son and despite my pushing - my husband hasn't bothered with him in 4 years financially or otherwise. And we have a son together. Because of this history - I think I have a good shot of obtaining custody.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Get a real job, he is paying the bills, that is why you have to work so much.
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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lilgypsy
old hand
Reged: 09/04/07
Posts: 1015
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Don't mind yregna--- He is just having a bad day, like nearly every day--- Mayb he needs coffee before posting?
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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I think somebody let the air out of his blowup doll, so he came here to release some pentup sexual frustration.
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Char Fox
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k122175
newbie
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 49
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Just out of curiosity - does yregna EVER have anything intelligent or productive to say to anyone - or is he just out to attack certain people?
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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No and yes. 
He's like a little child off from school playing on mommy's computer. He posts to agitate then sits back and snickers thinking he's done something funny.
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Char Fox
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k122175
newbie
Reged: 11/23/06
Posts: 49
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I got it now...thanks for the tip! 
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