yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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I'm wondering if you people think this is a problem. New GF drinks quite a bit. We spent the weekend together at a beach house. She drank all but 2 swallows of 2 bottles of wine.
Does this seem like a lot ? She also had wine both times we have gone out on " dates "...I haven't done much drinking since I quite dealing drugs back in the mid 80's so to me one or two beers is a lot of drinking. When is a person an alcoholic ? It it when you have to drink every day ? How much how often is too much ? She mostly drinks between 4pm and midnight.
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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matart1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/01/05
Posts: 2798
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if the drinking is impacting your relationship - then you may have a problem...
is this something she does on a daily basis?
my uncle was an alcoholic.
it consumed his life and it consumed every waking hour for him.
drinking also changed his personality.
the more he drank the uglier his personality was.
he never "saw" himself as an alcoholic.
never even when his marriage fell apart or when he was chasing my aunt around the kitchen with a butcher knife because his dinner was sitting in the oven warmed instead of on the table ready or even when the kids were crying out of fear continuously...he didn't even "see" it when the doctor said his liver was toast.
how does your girlfriend react to any discussions about alcohol?
if she is willing, seek counseling.
try subtle approaches of not keeping so much alcohol at home or finding some places to eat that may not serve alcohol.
denial is the worst enemy of an alcoholic.
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Life is a long lesson in humility.
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1004SRS
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/11/06
Posts: 5044
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So, this is the same woman who insists yo usleep naked together every night, you have to be available to answer her calls, committment at the first kiss, etc...
There are so many good women out there. Why in the heck are you settling?
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Because the " good women " you are talking about want to be " supported "....
I figure I'll finish paying off my ex before I try paying for another woman in my life...I'd like to keep the list of people living off my income down to a minimum...My son ain't likely to be " self-supporting " for a few years yet....
P.S. She has backed off the cell availability business somewhat. I just need to " try " and keep it turned on and on my person. Actually most of the women I met on eHarmony wanted that also...
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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LifeGoesOn333
recently joined
Reged: 11/05/07
Posts: 2
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Maybe she is nervous? How long have you known her? If you don't drink much and she does that could be a problem! Especially if you associate drinking with your past!
Ask her about it! See what she says, give her a chance to explain herself! :p
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Well, she is saying how much she likes me and wanting to spend more time together, so I told her I do have to care for my kid more than she does ( Her daughter is 19 at home, my son is 16 at home).
I suggested she come over to my house more. And there isn't anything to drink alcoholic there, so that should force the issue, right ? If she brings something over, I guess that will answer my question...
To me alcoholics and drug addicts are about the same minus the legal issues. I don't allow people like that in my life, period. " Very light social drinking..." is about as far as I'd go...
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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1004SRS
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/11/06
Posts: 5044
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Nope. I have no desire to be supported by anyone. I am quite self-suffcient, thank you very much. I would like a boyfriend to hold hands with once in a while or someone to snuggle with or someone to chat with. I don't even see myself getting married again.
There are more of us out there than you realize.
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rocketgirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 8562
Loc: On the beach in 14 years...
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Hmm... maybe she has to drink to be around you for any length of time....
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Lisa
Diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell, and them looking forward to the trip.
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Renee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
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Control freak, smothering, insecure alcoholics are not long term relationship material, no matter how much money they make of how much sex they want.
If her drinking that much got your attn enough to question it, she is NOT a good match for you.
KEEP LOOKING - there is a better woman for you out there.
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Renee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
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*raising hand*
I have too much pride, intelligence and self respect to let someone else support me.
Yregna, you need to either tweak your profile on e-harmony, or you need to get on a better site. Its hard for me to fathom that in this day and age there are still that many women out there waiting to be rescued.
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