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tom5947
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Reged: 02/20/08
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How do I make the calls stop?
      #363965 - 02/20/08 05:06 PM

I have a friend who is just recently divorced. Still within the 30 day finalization period. Her ex has been calling her about 5 to 7 times a day about her personal life and how she is hurting the kids and things of that nature for the better part of a year in the time they have been seperated. She wants to end the communication as it is unneeded and stressful. There are obviously kids involved. She has started sending him emails asking for him to communicate with her via email to avoid all the stress and arguments and needless communication not pertaining to the kids or not being important enough to warrant a phone call. He has not responded to any of the emails. How can she force him to communicate with her in that fashion? He says he will not communicate like that and that he cant receive personal emails at work yet he wont provide any other email address for communication.
What can she do? Can she file charges for harassment? Does she need to make copies of the emails and mail them to him? Does she take him back to court? She wants to document what she is saying in case it can be used in the future in court. Please let me know.


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lilgypsy
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Reged: 09/04/07
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Re: How do I make the calls stop? [Re: tom5947]
      #364151 - 02/21/08 08:45 AM

She can send an email to him stating that all communication in regards to the children need to be done that way. She should have an option in her email where she can save it as a draft before she sends it. A better option would be to send a letter through registered mail with her email address and what she wants in terms of communication. Something like:

Dear Butthead:

It is inapropriate for you to be phoning five or more times a day. You can phone when the children are home to speak to them, of course. I do not want to discuss my personal life with you however because of the stress that it puts me under. Future information in regards to the children and visitation can be done via email. Not only does this cut back on the tension between us, but can also serve as a way to confirm plans in regards tot he children. As a reminder, my email address is..... quitbloodyphoningme@leavemealone.com

Thanks.
Signed,
stopit!

It will show in the future that she tried to get him to stop phoning. Short of that, they are both parents. She does need to set boundaries with him though, for sure. If he continues to phone, she can say, "Here's little johnny--hang on" and pass the phone to the kiddo. If he tries to push it or wants to just talk to her and not the children, it can be as simple as "I am not discussing this with you. Please email me in regards to the children." Then she can hang up on him.

I wish her luck--those phone calls suck!


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almostheaven
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Definately file harrassment... [Re: tom5947]
      #365210 - 02/22/08 08:55 PM

She needs to just stop all communication with him period (emails too) unless it pertains to the kids. I'm assuming changing her number wouldn't work since she still needs to keep in contact because of the kids. So she's asked him to stop, she's written him to stop, and now it's time to get the court to tell him to stop.

--------------------
Char Fox


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jaiye
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Reged: 10/27/05
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Re: How do I make the calls stop? [Re: tom5947]
      #373637 - 03/11/08 10:10 PM

Screen the calls with either answering machine or caller ID. Send him an e-mail and also sent a letter snail mail registered with return reciept, telling him she will no longer take his calls unless it is an emergency involving the children and she needs to stick to that and not give him ANY wiggle room. Obviously if the children are with her and he calls then she knows it is not an emergency.

If this doesn't work then she will need to try and go after a RO.


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